I actually was very close to buying an eye patch yesterday. I was cutting dry fronds from a coconut tree and it released a weaponized mist of microfibers at my eyes. Some of them got ensconced in my right medial canthus and scratched the hell out of my cornea.
Theorem: The Braves lost because they were assholes. All that indignation about homerun celebrations late in the season, then refusing to catch Chipper Jones' first pitch because he picked the Dodgers to win the series. You incur a lot of bad karma doing shit like that.