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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

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yeah i guess i should have held up on going out and jumping threw hoops for a lil free drugs. but its to late and im high and all of a sudden im not crying over my girl i just realize it will ether work or it wont workout but we have been threw worse......i dread tomorrow morning knowing im not scoring :p i guess i deserve it i brought it upon myself
 
Man, why does heroin have to be the way it is? What a wicked fuckin' pissah.

Time and time again I find out I can't handle this shit and then I somehow I delude myself into thinking I can use occasionally.



I'm going on a real, actual vacation with my girlfriend in less than 3 weeks. I'm really excited, but really nervous at the same time. My mood has been fluctuating a lot again because I've been using and I really want to be in more of a stable mind when we go [to South Carolina! :)]

I was hoping to be off of suboxone by then, but I think I'll still be using it. I just hope it's a really low dose, so I could sneak it in. :o I think I'll be ok, mood-wise, if I can stay away from dope until then (well not tonight and probably not tomorrow night either :\).

I always start doubting myself on dope and it's definitely starting right now. This will be the first time we'll be together for more than 48 hours and it seems like a big step to see if we'd really work out if we moved in together.
I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up and she'll change her mind about wanting to live with me. :( When I think of my future, the only consistentcy is that she is in it...I don't know what I'll do if I fuck this up. That's one reason I always feel guilty when I spend money on drugs. :( I like to think I'd rather spend it on something for her or for us, but I guess not. :\ :(


Y'all don't really need to read that or respond, I'm sort of just venting.
 
carl, even though you werent expecting a repsonse dude, i totally feel you...and to be completely honest, from what youre saying and your whole mentality, ive come to the conclusion that you are a good guy...i know exactly how it is when youre with a girl and she is your world and your bad habits and vices haunt you and threaten to get in the way of something special...i also believe what is meant to be will be. what i suggest is that you continue with the subs, even though i hate them, just to keep away from the dope...the longer you are away from the dope, the more comfortable it will be when youre on vacation and isolated as far as drug connections are concerned...your girl will be your moral support, she will keep your mind off of scoring and im sure your days will be busy, which is always good because an idle mind is the devils workshop...and just thing, your going away, that will be fun and it can be a very valuable experience...when you come back you may just be a completely changed man...whatever dude i wish you the best of luck
 
i just hope that tomoro i can get through the day without having to score some pills...i dont have any subs and know im going to have to pick up sooner or later, but lately ive been tapering down my doses so that im down to 30mg of roxy a day...i plan to wait another week and cut that down to 15mg a day and so on and so forth...

unfortunately current i am on 30mg right now...
 
good luck bro/sis, you know you can do it. Hope it aint too painful for ya.

I really wanna help you guys but I got too much on my plate atm so sorry if I seem selfish.

Ok this is how it is. I was about 4 days into WD, it would have started subsiding the next day but I had a lapse and had a shot, does this mean WD's will start all over again or it will just halt the process a little?

Plus I got put to highest priority at the rehab I wanted the go to(not the extremely evil sounding christian one I was gonna do) so im really happy now.

BL you fucken RULE!!!
 
I got introduced to opiates after a painful surgical operation.prior to that they had never interested me. prior to my op, i had had a problem with alcohol from an early age but had been sober in AA for a couple of years & i was even working in a residential setting that supposedly helped alcoholics& other addicts .
(i dont mean this to be a 'cop-out' on responsibility ,far from it,just telling it how it is.)
Anyway, after the second day on the ward recovering from the op & getting pain meds - i knew that i loved the effects of those meds & couldnt wait to get discharged so that i could take them at home to chill. the rest as they say , is history...............

Anyone else get introduced to opiates/opioids this way ?
 
I've successfully hid my opioid addiction my family, and all other people as well. The only people that know about my struggle with opiates are a few close friends that are in the same boat as me...It started with OC, Opana, Fentanyl, Hydromorphone, ya know the good ones and now i am currently on Sub. I have no idea how i am going to get off this shit, and im only on about 0.5mg - 1.5mg of suboxone a day....wtf...has anyone here successfully kicked suboxone?

I get 90 norco's a month and I honestly feel better on subs then i do on hydrocodone. which makes me think that maybe if I save my hydro's and Tramadols and use them for coming off of suboxone. (of course i would only use a minimal amount, and would only use the hydro for the first 7 nights and the tramadol in the day....

Last time i came off suboxone, i almost successfully accomplished it with the use of tramadol for the withdrawals..
 
been feeling reallly unmotivated lately. all I want is to be nodding out every day. tolerance has gone up tho, which means that my money is even tighter and I can't afford to be doing as much.

even so, I am using up the near end of my tax return on an 80 oc that should be available later tonight. nevermind that I've got bills which could be paid, i'll get through it somehow. I still have some leftover. I can live on 14 bucks the next 2 weeks. i'm used to morpine, oxys are never around.

i know i shouldn't get it but the junky in me is def going to purchase it bc i am getting it at a decent price.
 
my god i just realized how i got introduced to opioids i was stealling 5-10 7.5 hydros a day from my grandpa that had cancer im an animal

i used in total secrecy no one new. i was the outcast at school always high as fuck of my dieing grandpas meds now that i look back i feel horrible
 
imnakedrightnow said:
my god i just realized how i got introduced to opioids i was stealling 5-10 7.5 hydros a day from my grandpa that had cancer im an animal

i used in total secrecy no one new. i was the outcast at school always high as fuck of my dieing grandpas meds now that i look back i feel horrible
Click to expand...

Dont be so hard on yourself, many of us have done much the same or worse.I am sure you didnt leave your granpa in pain, just took a few pills.
 
Carl Landrover said:
Man, why does heroin have to be the way it is? What a wicked fuckin' pissah.

Time and time again I find out I can't handle this shit and then I somehow I delude myself into thinking I can use occasionally.



I'm going on a real, actual vacation with my girlfriend in less than 3 weeks. I'm really excited, but really nervous at the same time. My mood has been fluctuating a lot again because I've been using and I really want to be in more of a stable mind when we go [to South Carolina! :)]

I was hoping to be off of suboxone by then, but I think I'll still be using it. I just hope it's a really low dose, so I could sneak it in. :o I think I'll be ok, mood-wise, if I can stay away from dope until then (well not tonight and probably not tomorrow night either :\).

I always start doubting myself on dope and it's definitely starting right now. This will be the first time we'll be together for more than 48 hours and it seems like a big step to see if we'd really work out if we moved in together.
I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up and she'll change her mind about wanting to live with me. :( When I think of my future, the only consistentcy is that she is in it...I don't know what I'll do if I fuck this up. That's one reason I always feel guilty when I spend money on drugs. :( I like to think I'd rather spend it on something for her or for us, but I guess not. :\ :(


Y'all don't really need to read that or respond, I'm sort of just venting.
Click to expand...

What you're doing with your girlfriend (using behind her back) is exactly what I did. Her and I lived 40 min. away from one another and only saw eachother less than 24 hours each week, which of course made it easy for me. At first.

I suggest you check out my other thread here in TDS, "What have I become" to see the outcome of that.

And don't say it won't happen to you, because god as my fucking witness, it will. It's only a matter of time.

"Now my bitter hands cradle the broken glass of what was once everything" -Eddie Vedder

:(
 
just finished tapering off the methadone, got my last dose of 5mg this morning and i'm bored as hell, can't get comfortable, and anxious as hell. Haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time in the last 2 weeks. I feel like I want to jump out of my own skin right now.

From what everyone tells me, it's just going to get worse before it gets better. oh and btw , i start a new job on Monday. I'm seriously thinking about switching over to bupes if the meth withdrawl gets too bad. I can't start a new job ill.

and oh yeah it's the beginning of the month when everyone gets paid and the dope gets good in my hood.

man oh man, such is life
 
I'm a pill fiend here, never tapped a vein but wish I could, mostly just to scared, I have all the gear, insulen suringe even have the get up to install myself an IV port for needless injections if I could just get over the fear of the needle. I am guessing this is a good thing to have thsi fear as i see many people with the opposite problem once they begin using, the problem is my oral tolerence is so high that I can no longer get high anymore, I get sick and puck long before I can take enough to nod like I used to. it sucks thas why I want to shoot, i've tried plugging but that didnt help, I tried smoking but that seemed worthless i got some herion thinking that would be stronger than the oxy's or 30mg percocett but it jsut tasted liek shit to smoke and didnt get my very high to plug, shooting was out of the question so I basically wasted that and wont go back. what to do what to do. about ready to go n soboxen till I have my tolerance low again.
 
dont do it, it aint worth it, if you are already off the methadone dont go back, the bupes would be worht a try just to get over the w/d beacuse they have such a little withdrawl from them if you take a few adn quit you wont feel too bad at all. methadone has bad wd that last for weeks thats why I taper myself when I want to quit. methadone in my opinion is worse than herion cept its legal to those perscribed
 
Hey guys,

Last Friday i overdosed on heroin due to being an idiot and not testing how strong the stuff i got was, which turned out to be like 2.5 times stronger than the usual stuff. Anyways I was just wondering if I could if done any long term damage? Heres what happened


I was in the hospital for about 2 days. I banged a huge shot and had the most intense rush of my life and knew something was wrong when I got dizzy as shit. I passed out after about a minute. My girlfriend had to do rescue breathing on me and rush me to the hospital where i had to be resuscitated. The ER doc said I was 2 minutes from being dead and that the rescue breathing saved my life.

When I woke up my blood sugar was really high but it came down to normal when i left. My white blood cell count was 30,000 when its suppose to be around 12,000 i think, but it did go down to around 25 when i was released. I also had tachycardia. My heart rate was around 130 to 140. By the second day it went down to around 100 to 110, but when I would just sit up in bed it would shoot up again.

I am starting to feel more normal now but i still get out of breath easy and my heart rate gets pretty high under physical activity, but it seems to be getting better. basically I was just wondering if I could of done any long term damage to my heart or brain or anything else?

thanks for reading
 
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i just watched Christina F (sp)


and it literally scared the shit out of me i hope i never find a heroin connect
it really made me look at myself in a whole new direction i think ill just stick to the morphine i hope i can stay away from banging H
 
The Wall of Sleep said:
this is true, and yes i saw the your quesiton to me in the other thread...and yes you are correct...and for those of you who do slip up and want to listen to some good tunes while ur fucked up...behind the wall of sleep by black sabbath is a perfect selection
Click to expand...

i know....actually hate to b a perfectionist here but thats BEYOND the Wall of Sleep ;) (sorry, diehard black sabbath fan)

no ur right, u shudnt listen to music that sets u off wen ur craving

i always like a bit of iron maiden, purely cos they dont sing about sex, drugs and rock and roll......(well charlotte the harlot is a sex symbol i spose but the drugs part.....nil - its quite refreshing if u can handle the geekiness of power metal worship ;))

im starting to get withdrawals
just slightly but theyre there
dripping nose and eyes, slight ache in the muscles, headache, frequent yawning

sad one - looks like im going to hav to up my dose
im hoping cos the withdrawals r so minor i can get away with just upping it by 1mg (ie. 21mg)

im also having psychological 'needle' withdrawals cos i havnt done my sterile water thing so much lately (since i caught phlebitis - also my arms r all tracked and the veins r rolling pretty major.....time for a break)

i am actually breaking into a sweat and getting restless and irritable at the thought of not banging sterile water
ffs i even feel an almost like placebo 'high' wen i do shoot the water....as the liquid goes up my vein
wtf?????
 
carl: good luck with the trip! I would take it as a goal...to stay sober until then. Remember the story I told you awhile back and the friend of mine who's love of his life broke up with him because she found out he was using? Well a big part of the drifting away was that they went on a cruise together with his family and he decided that it would be a good time to try to detox and he was uncomfortable and in pain (and high from weed) the whole time. Since she had no idea what was going on, she thought he was being rude and distant and wished she wasn't there.

Not something you want to happen for sure.



firesilver: That's a better question for OD (Other Drugs) or Healthy Living, I think. They would know more about the medical stuff.

If I were to guess though, I wouldn't think no. The body is very good at healing itself. I've ODed 3x now and my body is more or less normal. I couldn't give you the specifics of my vitals or anything, but I know I wasn't in good shape.
 
imnakedrightnow said:
i just watched Christina F (sp)


and it literally scared the shit out of me i hope i never find a heroin connect
it really made me look at myself in a whole new direction i think ill just stick to the morphine i hope i can stay away from banging H
Click to expand...

I'm tellin ya if theres one movie that could make a person quit/never do dope it'd be Christianne F.

Requiem just doesn't compare.
 
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