Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

[jackie jones]

Balance those pins out with a dose of LSD.

 

[the_ketaman]

^6Sorry I dunno if that was for me but im not exactly sure what you mean...If you were talking to me LSD would be suicide.

Mum just went fucking psycho at a detox unit that has basically been ignoring me. Anyone with a drug problem deserves the help they need and I need some fucking help, NOW!. This is putting hell on my family relationships, soon im going to end up disowned by the people I truely love but I dont know how else to act. Right now im getting calls from a detox thats gonna take 3 hours to get to to get one fucking measly dose of methadone or whatever, I dunno if thats how its gonna go but I fucking bet they'll dose me up and then fuck me off back here to deal with this shit. This is fucking ridiculous.

MUm found me OD'd the other day, I cant imagine how that would feel to find your son half dead all because of stupid fucking drugs, I dont want to bring my family into this but I dont know what else to do except kill myself which isnt going to solve anything. Life is a fucking joke, I bet this "higher power" is looking down laughing his ass off at my situation.

 

[paranoid android]

Im sorry your having such a rough time man. Ive been real low myself when coming off opiates and ive done things like take a razor to my arm and slash myself up. I have goten really suicidal many times because of withdrawals and have come close to blowing my brains out a few times. So your not alone in feeling that way that's for sure.

It sucks your having sch a hard time getting into detox. I don't know which country your from but in my part of canada from what ive heard it can be pretty damn hard to get treatment sometimes.

 

[smack_fairy]

I want these fucking Wd's to end. I want this emotional turmoil to end. I want to sun to rise and the ocean to be pumping out perfect waves and I want to go rip up some of those perfect waves and put a smile on my face.

Here Here! I have one surfboard I left I haven't hocked, watching the Roxy Pro online (which is just over the Hill from me but can't get my head and withdrawing body into gear to get out there). Thankfully I live on the beachfront and can watch the waves..although no real swell here on the Gold Coast today...

I can totally relate to the way you feel right now. I am detoxing too...first 24 hrs....Have a daughter here that I couldn't drive to school cause I am too sick...

I hope we both find some light at the end of the tunnel soon.

SM

 

[masterchiefn]

fentanyl question??

I was wondering?? will fentanyl work with methadone, since its a synthetic opiate like methadone. methadone has a opiate, and opioid blocker so if your on 80 mg and up......not even pure heroin will get you high. you will just get a burning feeling throughout your body and od, if you do too much. the messed up thing is... only taking more methadone will get you f**d up. what about fentanyl?? its in the same category as methadone, as a synthetic opiate. will i still be blocked??

 

[Frank Lucas]

I just found out that my mom's been having an affair (cheating on my dad). They are/were married 26 years.

I really want to fucking get high right now

I can relate, believe it or not. My mom cheated on my dad with over 25 men according to her. It really gets to me that she did that. It makes me have trouble respecting her or my father for putting up with it. In fact, one day in 2005 I was really obsessing about it badly. I also had just chewed and swallowed whole fistfull of Adderall. I couldn't beat up my mom for cheating on my dad with crackheads from 1994-2004. So I beat up my dad for staying with her. I just went at him, fists flying telling him what a pussy I thought he was. I get sick to my stomach when I think about it, but I still haven't fully forgiven my mom for doing my dad like that.

 

[xxkcxx]

I cant stop crying. Its like a permanent part of me now. I was up all night crying, tqalking to my mum last night an it kept my sister awake and now she's just been going psycho all day, this is the sister that punched me in the face about 20 times the other day. I hate to make myself look like"poor me im the victim" but seriously I dont know how much more of this life I can take. Im really considering suicide.

Noone can help me, noone wants to give me bupe, noone wants to give me methadone, noone wants to let me into detox or rehab for weeks/months...I totally understand other people have problems with drugs but they need more rehabs/detoxs coz im gonna end up dead soon.. Im on a bunch of benzo's and im still crying.

I wish I had someone to cry with. I dont want to be alive anymore. I feel so lonely.

Can you just check yourself into a hospital? I've done all my detoxes at the local hospital (well the private hospital). They give me bupe and clonidine and all that jazz. Is it an option for you? Just to get out of the situation? I mean, you can tell them that you are feeling suicidal and they have to admit you.

Oh, and cry if you feel like it. It's very good for you.

 

[The Wall of Sleep]

actually that shit always happens to me. theres nothing more annoying, to me anyway, when a connect tells you "15 minutes bro"...and it turns out to be over an our. its gotten to the point where me and my firend will call the dude, place an order, then ill hop in the shower, get some gas, coffee, cigarettes, drive slow to my friends house and have roughly 15 minutes to spare...

 

[drug_wench]

I was wondering?? will fentanyl work with methadone, since its a synthetic opiate like methadone. methadone has a opiate, and opioid blocker so if your on 80 mg and up......not even pure heroin will get you high. you will just get a burning feeling throughout your body and od, if you do too much. the messed up thing is... only taking more methadone will get you f**d up. what about fentanyl?? its in the same category as methadone, as a synthetic opiate. will i still be blocked??

i suggest u ask this question in another forum like 'other drugs', 'basic drug discussion', etc

it certainly doesnt belong in a thread which is about supporting and advising other junkies/ex-junkies

someone probly knows the answer to ur question, but it is of little significance wen were trying to help each other thru our suffering

ketaman - things r starting to sound really serious for u now
plz PM me if u need to talk!
if u r feeling suicidal, take urself to the ER
and actually, following kcs advice wudnt b a bad idea if they can detox u at hospitals where u r

 

[the_ketaman]

I went to the hospital today and they told me a bunch of bullshit and one of the nurses was sooo rude to me. I told her that i Od'd not long ago and she gave me all this shit about how she has kids and she said to me dont you dare put the guilt trip on me...WTF??? What a fucking psycho, she obviously has more problems than me. Luckily the detox I wanted to go to has a bed for me which im stoked about but I need to find a rehab to go to afterward and I found out im 4th on the waiting list which im glad I now know about. So it shouldnt be too long before I go. Im not doing to year long one either because its a christian one and theyre quite homophobic so its not the place for me.

Things are getting better but I did have a lapse today, I shot 160mg of oxy but ya know what. I told the doc I was speaking to that I was using xanax to ease my anxiety and depression and she went psycho at me, told me xanax is the worst most evil drug on the market and id be physically dependent after 10 days...Bullshit. And then she told me I should just keep using oxy until I can get into the detox which I think is so unproffessional, its disgusting, especially since she knows Im IV'ing them. I also told her I get suicidal when In WD's and she nearly got me locked up in a mental ward. This just makes me never want to tell the truth to someone who should be helping me ever again, I dont need to be put in a psych ward atm, I dont feel like im a danger to myself. Stupid bitch.

Anyway at least now I can say im nearly happy and things are progressing for the better, soon I will be far away from the family members I despise and I can start a new life for myself.. No need to worry anymore guys, thanks a bunch for all your help.

 

[masterchiefn]

that sux kman

i've been in your place kman, they need to make dope legal for people like us........i think once you get yourself to this point, the doc should give you what you want. its fu**ed up, i see so many dumb asses like me who get whatever they want from the doc.....and i cant?? I know pain pills are for people in pain....but it doesnt matter who you are, if you take a strong opiate for over a month you are never gonna stop unless your forced...then u just relapse. So for people who have gotten to this point, they should just let em have it......cause they will rob, steal even kill for this shit when all they need is a simple prescription. It might not be healthy, but its better than buying cut up dirty herion off the street. I would be happier taking oxycontin than shooting up heroin any day.....just cant get it legally. it really would make me a better person.

 

[paranoid android]

Ketaman that really sucks how you where treated. Nurses and health professionals in general have a shitty fucking attitude alot of the time. Ive been denied access to pain meds on a few occasions when ive been in agony solely on the fact that they don't like giving out morphine and other strong painkillers here and will often only give out demerol aka meperidine/pethedine. Like that's going to do anything 8). Also there is a fair amount of age discrimination amoung doctors and nurses in my experience.

I can't fucking believe that in this day and age there is a rehab center that is homophobic. I mean wtf . Granted i would expect no less from a christian rehab center. Im not gay and im christian but i wouldnt set foot in one of those places.

That doc who told you to keep using oxy until you can get into detox especially after knowing you shoot them up should have his license taken away. I mean people lose arms from injecting oxy due to all the fillers and shit in them. Threating to lock you up in the psych ward isint going to inspire you to get help or tell the truth either.

I hope you get the help you need man. Also getting away from your family could cut down on your desire to use drugs alot. I know when im away from mine and im not stressed out i stick to my prescribed dose of opiates and feel no desire to get drunk.

Feel free to hit me up on PM anytime you want man.

 

[v4lium]

Mum just went fucking psycho at a detox unit that has basically been ignoring me. Anyone with a drug problem deserves the help they need and I need some fucking help, NOW!. This is putting hell on my family relationships, soon im going to end up disowned by the people I truely love but I dont know how else to act. Right now im getting calls from a detox thats gonna take 3 hours to get to to get one fucking measly dose of methadone or whatever, I dunno if thats how its gonna go but I fucking bet they'll dose me up and then fuck me off back here to deal with this shit. This is fucking ridiculous.

Man I can relate to that, in the winter of '07 I called every fuckin detox facility in my province( there were/are 7 of them). Every single one of them was full to capacity and they all told me to "call again tomorrow". Anyway, I called every one of them everyday for a weak to no avail, on the last day I called before giving up the big detox center here, which is not so far from me; they said they were sorry they could do nothing for me and I'd have to wait minimum 2 weeks to get in. Shit sucked, the reason I was gonna detox was because my connect got bused and I had no where else to get anything, so I ended up quitting cold turkey... was probably the worst withdrawl I've ever been through, passed out for two days from the pain at the bottom of my stomach, woke up and cried the next 3 days and that's just the start of it all.

Thing that pisses me off is a good majority of people in detox here are there for weed or E, in fact I'd say above 70% of them are there for E and weed alone. THis is bullshit, stupid kids taking up needed beds because they smoke a few grams of weed and day and can't deal with being bored so they freak out and their parents ship em off to detox. I was the one who really needed it not those fuckheads.

Anyway, fuck "weed addicts", weed isn't an addiction it's a hobby. Some might disagree, I'm sticking to it, I smoked weed for 6 years almost everyday and though when I ran out I did crave and usually found a way to get some money, I was never soaked in sweat, crying, clasping my stomach half screaming for someone to blow my fuckin head off.

^My story anyway

You'll get through it, it's only a temporary thing and you have to remember that, withdrawls don't last forever, nothing lasts forever. Just remind yourself it'll be over soon and keep your chin up.

-v4l

 

[Frank Lucas]

^
Have you ever seen the movie Gridlock with Tupac in it? It's all about 2 guys desperately trying to get into a detox. It's a great movie that illustrates how hard it can be to get the help you need. Anyone who's been there should watch it and maybe feel just a little better.

 

[InTherapy82]

I was halfway there to get some dope and I turned around and went home.

 

[Seanjay]

I would really like some H right about now T.T

 

[billywitchdoc.com]

finally after 2 weeks clean from opis, i got my new script. Of course i could not get what im normally scripted because of this back-order dea control, anyways i got a new script and just got it filled finally. I have been hurting for these whole 2 weeks, and now i don't and have motivation to do stuff. A much needed tolerance break, + my script being so cheap this time im super happy and a lil high

 

[v4lium]

^
Have you ever seen the movie Gridlock with Tupac in it? It's all about 2 guys desperately trying to get into a detox. It's a great movie that illustrates how hard it can be to get the help you need. Anyone who's been there should watch it and maybe feel just a little better.

I had once considered downloading it, but a fellow junkie rated it 2/5 and told me it "tried to hard and missed its mark" so I never bothered. I might look into it again though thanks.

 

[v4lium]

Ah balls, are you closing the other one? No no one will get to see my stoner half-rant.

S'all good though

 

[n3ophy7e]

I was halfway there to get some dope and I turned around and went home.

That's excellent IT, you should be proud of yourself