Hey! You had a very good timing fr - I was preparing an order
. Didn't get to reply but I was thinking about what to reply -
And I still didn't order anything. So thanks a lot for that.
Well I'm glad I could help, if I'm not misunderstanding that.
I underestimated the tapering stuff big time. It's so hard to watch the stash melt away and I admit it's scaring...
I've tried it a lot too over the years. Failed all the time. I think it's too late for me. In reality it's never too late, it's just my mindset isn't the greatest. I'm prepared to gtfo of here, if you know what I mean. I wouldn't wish that on anyone or anything like that. It's just me, my life etc. 45 years of being a failure and having no real future to think about or look forward to, etc. I think for most people where there's a will, there's a way, and you seem like you've got a lot to look forward to so I'd say it's doable. (not
at all trying to sound like I'm minimizing your struggles, because I'm not. It's just my take on who you are, and what you've got going for you.) From what I understand tapering isn't going to get rid of the WD entirely, it's just to make it bearable for as long as you can go (and the smallest amount of the stuff possible, obviously.) and then get off the stuff. I mean you've got to think realistically, what is the minimum dose you can do before it becomes a laughable amount, 2-3 grains of the stuff is kinda "wtf am I doing?" territory, as far as I'm concerned lol. I mean if it helps, it helps and I can't bash it. Just thinking from what my own perspective would be.
Now I can't stay in bed and have to always be at least fairly present... Which is a whole different level of challenge
Man if you can manage that, you've really gone further than you think. I sleep as much as I possibly can. The waking world has lost it's luster. I think you're going down the right path. The trick, methinks, is to never give up on trying.
tried to stop cold twice and just couldn't bear it...
Yeah I'm right there with you on that lol. Though I've had a couple friends that went to jail and stopped in there, and said "It's not as bad as you think." My reply to that was less than positive... lol.
I've been sick so often lately and it was all but a waste
Well like I said above, tapering, at least from what I've heard and read (and gone through myself, I'm not sure if I was doing it wrong or something... and fuck if I'm being honest, I'm not sure I ever really put a whole lot of effort into it.), isn't going to get rid of the symptoms entirely. It's just meant to make it bearable. And it wasn't a waste at all, you tried. Just gotta get back up and try again. Part of the quitting process, at least for me, was actually wanting to quit. You have to get there first. Kind of hating the high, hating the drugs, being sincerely tired of the whole of the rigamarole and wanting to leave it behind. I'm not trying to imply anything about you by saying this, just that was my mindset the one time I left opiates behind. Quit for a year and a half and stupidly picked it back up with hydros lol. I'm an idiot. Just remember this, if you do get rid of it from your life... don't
ever look back. Don't think to yourself "Well hey I can take one now and be good for a while." or "I can get high on this little amount, it'll be fine." because it's a snowball effect. You'll end up right back where you started. There is always a way out again, but it'll be just as hard the second time around, if not more so. And that's who
I am. You may be different, don't let the things I say shape your ideas of what may or may not be possible. If you get injured in the future (just an example, I hope that doesn't happen.
) and need some kind of pain management and you know you can leave it behind afterward, don't let me take that possibility from you. Just keep what I said in mind, and be honest with yourself.
...