Anyone dropped out of life?

[Flynnal]

I got permanently banned from Reddit for calling some conservative cuck a "bootlicker". Some how that's "encouraging violence".
And I still look at Reddit some times for something to read. But today I came across another post of people calling drug users "Zombies" and they were acting like doctors & the government are just handing out opioids left & right. Which isn't true. And calling people "zombies" is dehumanizing. But of course I can't say anything or call them out on that cause I'm banned. If this is most people's attitude, then why the hell would I wanna be a part of society anyway?

Simple solution. Open another account on another PC, and then use a VPN. If you really want to make a comment, that is. Mostly I use it for reading because there are lots of reviews on there which is good.

 

[l41n]

is there any white straight artists who have risen to prominence in the past 2 decades and have a good body of work?

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

My biggest problem just 4 months ago was "how am I gonna feel good/get high today (and deal with my depression, etc..)"...


Now I have a heart arrhythmia that's causing me to feel like I'm being jump-scared anywhere from two to FIFTY times a day. Any time I stand, bend over, walk around, drive, anything, I get this sensation of my heart stopping. Which some times also feels like a squeezing. It literally takes my breath away when it happens. And now I have constant chest pressure, feels like my heart is "sore" all the time, weird heart rate some days, etc..

And my GP told me to just see a psychiatrist more. And my psychiatrist said I need to go back to my GP. lol

I'm losing my mind. Every day feels like I need to prepare for death.

I thought I'd dropped out of life due to my depression & just general mental illness, but this issue has taken everything to an extreme new level.

The crazy thing is that there's lots of other people out there with this same issue. And they don't know what's causing it either. This helps a little but it's also not very reassuring that it's ever going to go away, since some of these people have been living with it for decades. And some people get up to 30k arrhythmia in a day. O_O I don't know how anyone lives with this & that just makes me think I'll probably be stuck with this for life as well & it'll just get worse & worse until I have to have my heart ablated.

Some days I beg for death & other days I'm terrified of it, because I do enjoy life. I enjoy doing opioids, hanging & talking with the people I'm close to, making & indulging in art, sitting out in nature, listening to the rain. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up all of these things. But my depression before all of this started was kind of robbing me of all those things anyway. And I never get to really enjoy opioids or live how I actually want to live anymore, so would death really be a bad thing? Is it my time or is it not my time? I dunno wtf to think anymore. I honestly didn't think my life could get worse though, especially at my age, but it did. I'd give anything to go back to just dealing with depression & anxiety & not both + a heart thing that's causing up to 50 adrenaline dumps on my nervous system in a day. I'm pretty pissed & feel really dissociated every day now.

 

[-=SS=-]

Also I too have been banned from reddit several times

I wonder what their business model is.. because according to my calculations, being cucks is usually house of cards

It's funny, when I open Reddit it takes me about 5 seconds of scrolling to feel like I'm being fagged up - Twitter takes me about 5 seconds to feel either feel unfathomable rage or my IQ slipping a few points. Bunch of dweebs sucking each other off with stupid comment chains, I'm not convinced 50% of the accounts are even human beings, and the other 50% bots.

But in seriousness, it's so over sanitized and lame. It's what people warned the internet would become like, twenty years ago. Corporate, dull, sterile.

The irony is that I actually use it as a replacement for google search when I want human comments to questions or technical stuff!

 

[Jabberwocky]

It's funny, when I open Reddit it takes me about 5 seconds of scrolling to feel like I'm being fagged up - Twitter takes me about 5 seconds to feel either feel unfathomable rage or my IQ slipping a few points. Bunch of dweebs sucking each other off with stupid comment chains, I'm not convinced 50% of the accounts are even human beings, and the other 50% bots.

But in seriousness, it's so over sanitized and lame. It's what people warned the internet would become like, twenty years ago. Corporate, dull, sterile.

The irony is that I actually use it as a replacement for google search when I want human comments to questions or technical stuff!

I too use it but definitely fact check. The more information the better as I say, the hard part is knowing what's relevant and what isn't.

I hope the AI pulls correct information.. I don't know much about how AI works but I will have to trust that it is spitting out correct things.. I think it jas potential to be extreme and subtle brainwashing.. lol ah fuck, cant be fucked to over think that. Just made a smoothy and going to walk.

I'm glad Quora isn't something you used or perhaps you do and forgot, because I think it houses the most dense population of idiots found on a general board of "information". It's absolute garbage. Personal opinions stated as facts all over the place.

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

A lot of people as they get older tend to not like it as much; there was a thread about that on here. Then you have life long stoners, it depends on the person

Yea I made a thread on here about how I smoked it for decades, then last year all of a sudden I started getting panic attacks every time I smoked so I had to stop

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Hi guys,
To anyone reading this, I’ve been reading this thread …. kinda back & forth & all over the place. (I’ll try to come back again & try to read each post when my heads in a better place … ADHD & PTSD brain is messing with my concentration) … but, Anyways …
I read a lot of your guys posts & just wanted to say I understand & can really relate to a lot of you guys
Big hugs & lots of love

 

[Jnowhere]

I too use it but definitely fact check. The more information the better as I say, the hard part is knowing what's relevant and what isn't.

I hope the AI pulls correct information.. I don't know much about how AI works but I will have to trust that it is spitting out correct things.. I think it jas potential to be extreme and subtle brainwashing.. lol ah fuck, cant be fucked to over think that. Just made a smoothy and going to walk.

I'm glad Quora isn't something you used or perhaps you do and forgot, because I think it houses the most dense population of idiots found on a general board of "information". It's absolute garbage. Personal opinions stated as facts all over the place.

A smoothy, what are you not man enough for a milkshake. Sorry I accidentally took my meds early and didn't sleep much.

But seriously DeathIndustrial88 you should see a Cardiologist about your heart. Your GP and Shrink sound like they graduated at the bottom of their class from a shitty online med school.

 

[MedicinalUser247]

Tune in, Drop out, Turn on.

 

[washingtonbound]

It's funny, when I open Reddit it takes me about 5 seconds of scrolling to feel like I'm being fagged up - Twitter takes me about 5 seconds to feel either feel unfathomable rage or my IQ slipping a few points. Bunch of dweebs sucking each other off with stupid comment chains, I'm not convinced 50% of the accounts are even human beings, and the other 50% bots.

But in seriousness, it's so over sanitized and lame. It's what people warned the internet would become like, twenty years ago. Corporate, dull, sterile.

The irony is that I actually use it as a replacement for google search when I want human comments to questions or technical stuff!

I like that term “fagged up” lol. That’s how I feel about Reddit as well. There’s really nothing I hate more than the sanctimonious types on there. But if I have a really specific question about something, I still use it because it’s better than looking through a bunch of articles. But I still hate going on there

 

[Jnowhere]

I like that term “fagged up” lol. That’s how I feel about Reddit as well. There’s really nothing I hate more than the sanctimonious types on there. But if I have a really specific question about something, I still use it because it’s better than looking through a bunch of articles. But I still hate going on there

After my many bans from Bluelight, I would go on Reddit. I wanted to drop out of life after reading their bs.

 

[-=SS=-]

My biggest problem just 4 months ago was "how am I gonna feel good/get high today (and deal with my depression, etc..)"...

Now I have a heart arrhythmia that's causing me to feel like I'm being jump-scared anywhere from two to FIFTY times a day. Any time I stand, bend over, walk around, drive, anything, I get this sensation of my heart stopping. Which some times also feels like a squeezing. It literally takes my breath away when it happens. And now I have constant chest pressure, feels like my heart is "sore" all the time, weird heart rate some days, etc..

If this started after you stopped everything, then chances are it's probably withdrawal related. I smoked cannabis for less than a decade, and not even that heavy, and I think it took about 9 months to feel completely neutral again. I guess it's possible that neural pathways you've reinforced with the substance use can overlap both 'thinking' parts of the brain and the automatic parts.

I've had psychosomatic issues involving various parts of myself, body and mind. The two things it really taught me was to go easy on myself, and to have faith in the body's remarkable ability to heal. Just do everything you can to learn how to stay relaxed, from exercise, to baths, meditation, sitting on a bench, whatever.

I'm glad Quora isn't something you used or perhaps you do and forgot

I can't be fudged to sign-up so half the time I click over from google the answer is behind a blurred banner. Plus the UI seems shite to me. The times I have skimmed some answers it basically felt like when a teacher asks a classroom a question and every kid has a different wonky answer.

 

[kiely]

Hi guys,

Yeah. I was just getting scared from the coldness and the quietness of the morning. It's the morning flashbacks.

maybe even good. who knows. rn.

bye

so much electromagnetic interference and very extreme the last few days too.

thanks muches @ Angels , thank you for your resonance

 

[paranoid android]

My dream is to move to the Australian outback and live off grid there. I want out of this society altogether really. I would be quite happy living in the middle of nowhere there. I like going to my cabin alot here to get away from people but i wanna move to the aussie outback because of the weather and i seem to get along with the people there. I could drive a atv all day and just go riding in the middle of nowhere.

 

[paranoid android]

Mostly what i do these days is lift weights and smoke weed and take other drugs. I dont really have much of a social life i guess these days but that doesent bother me. I dont miss going to bars and shit and paying probably 10 bucks a beer now.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

If this started after you stopped everything, then chances are it's probably withdrawal related. I smoked cannabis for less than a decade, and not even that heavy, and I think it took about 9 months to feel completely neutral again. I guess it's possible that neural pathways you've reinforced with the substance use can overlap both 'thinking' parts of the brain and the automatic parts.

I've had psychosomatic issues involving various parts of myself, body and mind. The two things it really taught me was to go easy on myself, and to have faith in the body's remarkable ability to heal. Just do everything you can to learn how to stay relaxed, from exercise, to baths, meditation, sitting on a bench, whatever.

I can't be fudged to sign-up so half the time I click over from google the answer is behind a blurred banner. Plus the UI seems shite to me. The times I have skimmed some answers it basically felt like when a teacher asks a classroom a question and every kid has a different wonky answer.

I understand what you mean.

However, I hadn't stopped anything when this started. I was still taking everything I normally take when it started.
The only things I had been on just before this was prednisone & doxycycline. I was on them for about a week and a half for a lung infection.
And I tapered the prednisone like I was suppose to. Once that cleared up & I started to feel better, this heart thing started.

I've been testing around though with my meds to see what could be causing it. And twice I stopped my gabapentin & went two weeks without it & I also had no arrhythmias (that I could feel anyway) during those times. So I started thinking maybe my gabapentin was causing it & so I stopped it for a 3rd time. Except it's been 2 weeks now since I stopped & it didn't go away this time.

ER & GP just told me it was caffeine & that it would go away. Except I've been drinking caffeine every morning my whole life & I tend to keep it under 100mg's a day now anyway. So even if it were caffeine, there must be something that would have caused me to suddenly become so sensitive to something that I've been used to most of my life. I'm also skeptical cause during those weeks where I wasn't have any issues (when I stopped my gaba), I purposefully drank a big iced coffee from the gas station & I was fine. Even went to bed 2hrs later.

So, so far I haven't really nailed down any causes. It could either be some kind of scarring or injury in my heart that doctors haven't found yet or it could just be something that happened out of nowhere & has no organic/physiological cause. Either way it sucks & I wish it would go away.

 

[Jabberwocky]

My dream is to move to the Australian outback and live off grid there. I want out of this society altogether really. I would be quite happy living in the middle of nowhere there. I like going to my cabin alot here to get away from people but i wanna move to the aussie outback because of the weather and i seem to get along with the people there. I could drive a atv all day and just go riding in the middle of nowhere.

Can I join?

 

[thujone]

reading this thread has been cathartic. this isn't something people really talk about and it's hard to get support, hard to find anyone that gives a shit. everyone faces this alone. sink or swim.

i dropped out a few times. when it happened, i would be adrift for a while then hit rock bottom and there i could finally get it together, set goals and start to climb out of the hole.

the last time i was at rock bottom i knew it had to be the last time. i knew that i would kill myself if i ever went back there again.

i scraped enough money together to go back to school and start a new career. then came the COVID pandemonium. it fucked everything up. it was also a time when i broke into the new career with a great job.

for now i'm stuck in the rat race but working towards a career path that gives me more freedom and then maybe find some real joy in life.

 

[washingtonbound]

When I say dropped out of life I mean:

stopped caring about working
stopped caring about relationships
stopped caring about gym and exercise
stopped caring about social life

How was it?? What did you do?? Positives and negatives?

I wanted to give an update because this thread is really fitting for me. I feel like dropping out entirely, which I already have pretty much. My social security was not sufficient for me to live even in Mexico (I only receive $550 a month for some reason). I collect this due to having horrible psychotic episodes for 10 years that resulted in around 30 stays in psych hospitals. I hated worrying about getting tossed in the slammer here in the US and at first fled to Colombia. Wound up in a psych hospital twice in Medellin after getting drugged out. I hadn’t had an episode in a while so I recently thought of getting out of the shitty hotel I was staying at in Mexico and trying to get a “career.” Since I’ve been back in the US I’ve been close to losing it again. No career interests me. Many of the loud, fat obnoxious people piss me off. I do not want to deal with anyone whatsoever, I feel like a failure and a waste. If my mom didn’t support me I would probably be no different than the zombies you see on Kensington ave.

 

[paranoid android]

Can I join?

Ya the more the merrier lol.

I would love to live in a part of aussie where there is no snow cause fuck snow and cold. I could grow weed and opium and lve totally off grid. I fucking hate being around crowds now. I could use solar power and wouldnt have to buy fuel and shit

Why would anyone want to be a part of western society to begin with? We live in a very sick society that judges people based solely on how much money they have and i want no part of it