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Is having a partner one of the main goals in Life?

I had a feeling from a young age that I should be alone. I had strong physical and emotional attractions to women, but the sense that I would never get married or have kids.

In my 30s, I fell in love with a woman, and she was dead set on having children. After many arguments, we have a 6 yo daughter now. I love my daughter with all my heart but I think I made a mistake.

My girlfriend and I are no longer in love, and I’m trying to raise a child while having suicidal ideation. I think I knew, deep down, that I wasn’t cut out to be a husband/father.

I guess my point is, don’t get married or have kids due to societal pressure or pressure from your partner. Trust your instincts.
 
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Not mandatory, after my husband passed I was single for years and an addict.
I'm in a healthy relationship with one of the kindest non judgemental people I've ever met. When my mom passed he was here and if not for him I would have hit drugs again.
Not mandatory but it's nice having someone to talk to and do things with.
 
I certainly crave relationships, Ive only had one real love and it ended pretty rough, still recovering 3 years later but am doing well. I wouldnt trade that experience for anything.

I struggle with dating despite being an (in my opinion) attractive and charming young male, I just crave deeper attachments more than sex. Im not gonna go on one of those "dating in this day and age" rants even though it is tough. Ive had wonderful connections ghost me. truthfully a lot of this is a result of who I am and the trauma Ive incurred, but I also see its not all my fault. Its brought me on a journey to improve my social life overall and to move past my introverted and sometimes antisocial tendencies.

That all being said, I think I just have the insight to see that relationships arent a reliable source of happiness. they are inherintely temporary, even if you find the love of your life and marry forever, someone gotta die first. We dont take anything with us out of this life. I think I'll never stop holding out hope something can work out, as discouraging as it seems. Until then, I think the best love I can have is for myself, and to unconditionally give it to this world and those around me.

Your worth does not require validation. Theres a lot of beauty in being single. But god itd be wonderful to be in someones arms again, purely vulnerable, understood and loved.
 
Is having a partner one of the main goals in Life?
Humans aren't meant to be "partnered up" as couples. That's just something society made up.
 
badfish45 said:
I certainly crave relationships, Ive only had one real love and it ended pretty rough, still recovering 3 years later but am doing well. I wouldnt trade that experience for anything.

I struggle with dating despite being an (in my opinion) attractive and charming young male, I just crave deeper attachments more than sex. Im not gonna go on one of those "dating in this day and age" rants even though it is tough. Ive had wonderful connections ghost me. truthfully a lot of this is a result of who I am and the trauma Ive incurred, but I also see its not all my fault. Its brought me on a journey to improve my social life overall and to move past my introverted and sometimes antisocial tendencies.

That all being said, I think I just have the insight to see that relationships arent a reliable source of happiness. they are inherintely temporary, even if you find the love of your life and marry forever, someone gotta die first. We dont take anything with us out of this life. I think I'll never stop holding out hope something can work out, as discouraging as it seems. Until then, I think the best love I can have is for myself, and to unconditionally give it to this world and those around me.

Your worth does not require validation. Theres a lot of beauty in being single. But god itd be wonderful to be in someones arms again, purely vulnerable, understood and loved.
Click to expand...

Great attitude and perspective.
 
lecroute said:
Is having a partner one of the main goals in Life?
Humans aren't meant to be "partnered up" as couples. That's just something society made up.
Click to expand...


What's made up by society is insisting on monogamous relationships as an absolute, but there's certainly an evolutionary tendency towards pair bonding. Humans have the longest time growing up compared to other animals, we are dependent on our parents for YEARS.
Raising such demanding and labour-intensive offspring successfully is much easier when both parents are around to take care of the child. So in terms of human reproduction, there's a selection bias towards individuals who form strong pair bonds.
Besides, there are several non-human species who mate for life and are monogamous, it's not unknown in nature, it's just one of several reproductive strategies.
 
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