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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

I'm still hanging in there. Starting to wonder if alcohol is prolonging some of my methadone withdrawal symptoms because it's been almost 2mths with a little kratom use over a month ago and one day of methadone 2 weeks ago but I'm still having some symptoms. I definitely wouldn't say I'm %100. I've cut way back to about 3-4 pints of beer a day which is still a lot.
 
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I need a hug today. I haven't slept in 3 nights and the 19th is 2mths. This thing is really kicking my ass right now. Only time I feel Ok is in the shower.

Try to sleep at night. Have some milk right before. Try to be in the dark.

I'm just trying to help. I have been stuck in bed before trying to sleep and not cramp out. It's weirdly not fun. lol

You will be fine if you get through it. Showers help cramps. I know it is awful. Some milk <3 (it has natural lithuim) and a cold cloth for your head if you can ! It's basic but it has to be done.

I don't know what you are really going through but you have to get through this. Right ? You will. I mean withdrawal is withdrawal right . . . keep smiling !!!!! ☀️🔥

Do well. Take care.
 
I'm still hanging in there. Starting to wonder if alcohol is prolonging some of my methadone withdrawal symptoms because it's been almost 2mths with a little kratom use over a month ago and one day of methadone 2 weeks ago but I'm still having some symptoms. I definitely wouldn't say I'm %100. I've cut way back to about 3-4 pints of beer a day which is still a lot.
omg. i hope you are okay. lol. hugz. kratom can be a comfort drug but it is yuccky. it's like the over the counter withdrawal help right.
hols and lugs.
you got this always. right ?

edit: kratom might keep you awake . . . so try the sleepy kind.
 
omg. i hope you are okay. lol. hugz. kratom can be a comfort drug but it is yuccky. it's like the over the counter withdrawal help right.
hols and lugs.
you got this always. right ?

edit: kratom might keep you awake . . . so try the sleepy kind.
I can't do kratom. It makes me feel like I'm always slightly withdrawing and I've never been able to sleep when I'm routinely taking it. I'm gonna go full no opioid type drugs. I'm absolutely determined. I've been a heroin and methadone addict for 25yrs. I'm done....
 
I can't do kratom. It makes me feel like I'm always slightly withdrawing and I've never been able to sleep when I'm routinely taking it. I'm gonna go full no opioid type drugs. I'm absolutely determined. I've been a heroin and methadone addict for 25yrs. I'm done....

You're strong though. I have seen it done before too.

Just keep going. I bet you can. <3



* I can't do kratom. I tried to.
opioids got their hooks in me though. i loved them.
 
@somnilicious hugs 🫂 and hope u get a sleep soon 🙏 ur doing amazing 💛

been sort of "relapsing" recently but I've managed to avoid the ol' booze this weekend and got no cravings really at all. I just need to stay away from my best friend for a bit unfortunately as she has psychosis and everytime I'm there or she's at mine I join her and get drunk. But I blacked out two weeks ago and my other friend was gonna phone an ambulance so I just stick to beer now if I feel I absolutely have to cave in rather than the doubles (harm reduction lol)

Tbh a lot of shit has happened that I won't go into cause I'm having a good day lol but I think the biggy is there's been a few major changes in my mental health/addiction recovery treatment plan e.g. my psychologist left who I'd been making steady progress with in relation to past trauma and the recovery worker who I was close with moved on to a different job and so our recovery group and the trust we built kind of fell away as nobody replaced the person so the group is no more. Kind of annoyed me how it was handled cause it's so easy to go back. That was the group helping me stay focused and connected with for well over a year since my detox. And then because of a recent event some bad shit is being regurgitated in my soul/mind to put it simply. along with other shit like grieving, feeling lost, lonely but not wanting anyone close and actually wanting to just fucking join in - fit in? - and enjoy it with everyone like after playing a gig or going to one etc. Also kinda fed up of trying just wanna not have any responsibility.... To my family or myself or whatever ... Which make me think that it's probably because of all the shit that's changed and the pain I'm in is driving me back because I don't have a working solution atm i.e./e.g. a psychologist who is helping me and the group of people who had helped me and vide versa since I got dry. I have sorta just wrote out what I'm thinking and it helped me to come to that conclusion haha.
 
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I can't do kratom. It makes me feel like I'm always slightly withdrawing and I've never been able to sleep when I'm routinely taking it. I'm gonna go full no opioid type drugs. I'm absolutely determined. I've been a heroin and methadone addict for 25yrs. I'm done....
you got this man. i just had a slip up and i’m dealing with the repercussions from it as well. kratom and gabapentin have been keeping me in check as well as baths. if you have a bath, try to sit in there for an hour or so and scroll bluelight on your phone. that’s what i do when i’m sick & in agony. much love man
 
Try to sleep at night. Have some milk right before. Try to be in the dark.

I'm just trying to help. I have been stuck in bed before trying to sleep and not cramp out. It's weirdly not fun. lol

You will be fine if you get through it. Showers help cramps. I know it is awful. Some milk <3 (it has natural lithuim) and a cold cloth for your head if you can ! It's basic but it has to be done.

I don't know what you are really going through but you have to get through this. Right ? You will. I mean withdrawal is withdrawal right . . . keep smiling !!!!! ☀️🔥

Do well. Take care.
Oddly enough the milk kinda worked. I don't know if it was the casomorphins, tryptophan or as you say lithium but my body calmed down and I had a period of 4-5hrs where I would fall asleep for a few mins at a time before I would get a jolt up my spine when I awoke. From experience I know that methadone screws with your sleep more than almost any other drug I've taken. Specifically REM sleep. It's almost as if the body doesn't know how to handle the neuron firing when REM dreaming starts. I also noticed that if I havnt been sleeping at all or having REM sleep then as soon as I fall asleep I immediately go into REM.

Thank You
 
you got this man. i just had a slip up and i’m dealing with the repercussions from it as well. kratom and gabapentin have been keeping me in check as well as baths. if you have a bath, try to sit in there for an hour or so and scroll bluelight on your phone. that’s what i do when i’m sick & in agony. much love man
Sorry to hear. I hope your pain is short lived. Are you in the UK? Don't know why I thought you were. We gotta be resolute. Just tell yourself it's not an option, no matter what. It's a lot easier in the US because I'm not going out to do that garbage they sell on the street. No way in hell. Trying to start over at 42 is not fun. Granted I still look young but you always think you have time.

"Then you wake up to find
Ten years have gone behind.
You missed the starting gun.
No one told you when to run."
 
I'm quoting myself from two posts from another thread so that you all know what's been going on with me. I'm too lazy to type it all all over again, lol.

Man, something scary just happened to me. Over the course of a few hours, I had consumed about 6 or 7 beers and 8mg. of Klonopin, which isn't that much at all to me. I took a few hits of "Indicol" weed and went outside for a cigarette. About 10 minutes into it, my legs buckled out from underneath me and I fell flat on my face!

Luckily I didn't do any serious damage; just some minor scrapes. I just posted a thread the other day about Klonopin & weed not reacting together well with me, and then I went and did it again! Other benzos don't have that effect on me with weed.

There's something about Klonopin and weed that just don't react together with me. I've smoked with Ativan, Xanax and Valium in the past, and I never had anything like that happen. Klon is known for impairing motor skills more than other benzos. My new rules:

No Klon + weed.
No Klon + beer.
No Klon + pretty much anything.
Eventually, hopefully no Klon at all.

I'm putting myself on a 3-4 day tapering program. I've had 4 beers today and I'm trying not to have any more today. I may take 2 or 4mg. of Klon later today if I'm feeling really anxious.

Considering the fact that last week I took 30mg. of Klon with 16 beers in one day, this is a pretty radical departure for me, but I'm determined to beat this thing no matter what it takes. It's definitely catching up with me. I've had more stupid accidents and embarrassing behavior in the past several months than usual. I can feel my addiction progressing.

Thanks to everyone for your concern and advice!
DF
 
I'm quoting myself from two posts from another thread so that you all know what's been going on with me. I'm too lazy to type it all all over again, lol.
Do you think it might be worth cutting yourself off from the doctor when your clear headed? You keep repeating this pattern and don't seem to get any enjoyment or utility out of them anymore.

I totally understand. There was a point in my life when I got methadone and Xanax from a doctor. I would run out of both scripts in 2 weeks early so I'd be withdrawing and scrambling to supplement from the streets. I did this almost every month for 2yrs straight. Getting caught with heroin and cocaine in my system was the best thing that ever happened to me. No more doctor.
 
Do you think it might be worth cutting yourself off from the doctor when your clear headed? You keep repeating this pattern and don't seem to get any enjoyment or utility out of them anymore.

I totally understand. There was a point in my life when I got methadone and Xanax from a doctor. I would run out of both scripts in 2 weeks early so I'd be withdrawing and scrambling to supplement from the streets. I did this almost every month for 2yrs straight. Getting caught with heroin and cocaine in my system was the best thing that ever happened to me. No more doctor.
I've been thinking of that: trying to find a way of telling him that I don't need them anymore without admitting how badly I've been abusing them lately. I *do* have pretty bad anxiety, and I like to know that I have some on hand in case I need them. But when I have them, I take them (whether I need them or not). That's the problem.
 
@somnilicious i hope you feel better soon. Methadone was the worst wd's ive had, they seem to last forever. I found exercise and hot baths helped but time seems to be the major factor. I'm still not sleeping like i used to but i find i feel less dull off of it. It's hard to adjust when you spend over 10 years numbing yourself.
 
I've been thinking of that: trying to find a way of telling him that I don't need them anymore without admitting how badly I've been abusing them lately. I *do* have pretty bad anxiety, and I like to know that I have some on hand in case I need them. But when I have them, I take them (whether I need them or not). That's the problem.
Are you able to ask a doctor if they can help ween or taper a patient off of abused substances, . . . . . or is this even done with patient visits anymore.... !
I wonder about medical practices being involved with this. Or is it mostly used with trauma and recovery groups.

However, I did have to ween and taper all on my own. With alprazolam and with all of the other med's too. I practice keeping the dose low as possible if I have to at all. And this is after years of keeping one or two in a pocket everywhere i would go . . . to have 'just in case.'

When I got to that point I knew that I was so ready for the real jump off of it all. It was actually like training wheels for me to be able to have that dose on my personal in case of emergency circumstance. I wouldn't take it but will have it if it is needed. I made it to the level where I still had one if I needed it until I didn't need it at all. I don't have to take anything now but I sincerely don't need them.

Everything else is just a comfort med now when needed. But the ween and taper is done and over. Now I just use as little medication as possible for post acute symptoms.

I guess I am just taking filler medications now to alleviate anything left over from the acute phase. I definitely don't dose like I used to. That is if I even dose at all anymore. They aren't as clean as the one's I needed every day. So that's how that goes. I did try to stop all at once and not ween or taper. Never again though. I think it really would kill me.

So that's not going to happen again. Ever. If I ever take Norcos again it will never be in excessive dosages. I would use a healthy taper or just a very small dose.

And the moral of the story. Don't be stuck needing something if you don't have any on hand. It's better to taper and ween (((with support))) and depend on a ' pocket ' instead of having to go out and 'look for' and 'beg for' it.

Oh hey !!! And sometimes it takes years. But hey again . . . what else are you going to do anyway !!!!

If you really want to you will. So sometimes it will just take 'a while.' You can do it if you want to . . . or at least try. :)☁️
 
^^ And . . . Or I guess keep trying until you get there. . . . . because you really know you will if you can ! ☀️☁️<3
 
Are you able to ask a doctor if they can help ween or taper a patient off of abused substances, . . . . . or is this even done with patient visits anymore.... !
I wonder about medical practices being involved with this. Or is it mostly used with trauma and recovery groups.

However, I did have to ween and taper all on my own. With alprazolam and with all of the other med's too. I practice keeping the dose low as possible if I have to at all. And this is after years of keeping one or two in a pocket everywhere i would go . . . to have 'just in case.'

When I got to that point I knew that I was so ready for the real jump off of it all. It was actually like training wheels for me to be able to have that dose on my personal in case of emergency circumstance. I wouldn't take it but will have it if it is needed. I made it to the level where I still had one if I needed it until I didn't need it at all. I don't have to take anything now but I sincerely don't need them.

Everything else is just a comfort med now when needed. But the ween and taper is done and over. Now I just use as little medication as possible for post acute symptoms.

I guess I am just taking filler medications now to alleviate anything left over from the acute phase. I definitely don't dose like I used to. That is if I even dose at all anymore. They aren't as clean as the one's I needed every day. So that's how that goes. I did try to stop all at once and not ween or taper. Never again though. I think it really would kill me.

So that's not going to happen again. Ever. If I ever take Norcos again it will never be in excessive dosages. I would use a healthy taper or just a very small dose.

And the moral of the story. Don't be stuck needing something if you don't have any on hand. It's better to taper and ween (((with support))) and depend on a ' pocket ' instead of having to go out and 'look for' and 'beg for' it.

Oh hey !!! And sometimes it takes years. But hey again . . . what else are you going to do anyway !!!!

If you really want to you will. So sometimes it will just take 'a while.' You can do it if you want to . . . or at least try. :)☁️
I'm going to keep trying on my own, because I'm afraid that he'll cut me off if I tell him the truth. I've been going to him for about 8 years and we have a very good doctor/patient relationship. Ironically enough, he's a recovering alcoholic himself and is very honest about it (hey, doctors are human too), but he's been sober for many years so far as I know.
 
I'm going to keep trying on my own . . .

Awesome !! 🔥

A Bravo for you . . . . ☀️


** Do it now, all is possible. Be the change, health is wealth. Never give up, seize the day.


Believe you can, dreams come true. Do your best, all is well. Focus and win.

It's the courage to continue that counts !! **
 
Still having a hard time. Only had 2 pints last night. Got very broken sleep for a couple of hours at 8am this morning but when I woke up this afternoon I was in a rage for some reason. I've been dealing with bouts of extreme anger lately which is a new for me. I'll punch shit without regard for my hand. I'll tear shit up and pound the side of my head as hard as I can. Only other time I felt like this benzo withdrawal was involved. It sucks because I'm causing all kinds of tension and nobody wants to feel like that.
 
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