isn’t that such a good feeling? i’m really into fashion, producing music & just fun silly things like going thrifting and such, and it feels so good to put money into my craft again. it also feels good to be able to purchase new outfits and clothes as during my active addiction i just did not give a shit how i looked at all.
Well I just came here to make sure you are ok DF. 120 mgs of clonazepam in 6 days is something to keep an eye on. Glad you are ok, even making music. Not seizing.
Tolerance is amazing with benzos I see.
I write, sing, play keyboards, guitar and drums. I'm all self-taught. I have a mini-studio in my bedroom that I record on. I mainly do it just for fun, but I have a couple of friends that I jam with every week. I literally to everything from classical to rap!what sorta music do you produce / compose?
I see what you mean instantly there, still just began scrolling reading catching up.Well I just came here to make sure you are ok DF. 120 mgs of clonazepam in 6 days is something to keep an eye on. Glad you are ok, even making music. Not seizing.
Anyone a person lives with will get on a person's nerves. Mother, wife, room mates, any family. It is just the way it is. And it for sure comes off as me not being able to do anything right. That is the feeling.. lol But we identify with the criticism and we feel bad. Next time criticism comes make it third person, like it is another guy that is getting the criticism. Basically let it go, as we can really drag ourselves down. Seems others try to drag us down too, but it is just habit. We all do it. But I know I do not get on my wife at all unless I see something that involves health.
Even if you lived alone you would get on yourself. How many times have I mumbled under my breath I am an asshole lol. So yeah, we even do it to ourselves.
And.....you are NOTTT an ah brother. That, is delusion.Well I just came here to make sure you are ok DF. 120 mgs of clonazepam in 6 days is something to keep an eye on. Glad you are ok, even making music. Not seizing.
Anyone a person lives with will get on a person's nerves. Mother, wife, room mates, any family. It is just the way it is. And it for sure comes off as me not being able to do anything right. That is the feeling.. lol But we identify with the criticism and we feel bad. Next time criticism comes make it third person, like it is another guy that is getting the criticism. Basically let it go, as we can really drag ourselves down. Seems others try to drag us down too, but it is just habit. We all do it. But I know I do not get on my wife at all unless I see something that involves health.
Even if you lived alone you would get on yourself. How many times have I mumbled under my breath I am an asshole lol. So yeah, we even do it to ourselves.
I believe for those dabbled enough, they take 2 mg's Alpra, vs 5 mg's Bromazolam too. As a dosage guague on that one.
You can treat this as a non obligation rhetorical probe but,So I'm right back where I was a month ago: Day 4 without Klonopin after going on a five-day binge (sixty 2mg. tablets). Nursing a 25oz. Natty Daddy beer to keep the anxiety at bay, but I haven't really had any to speak of anyway (only when I get startled awake with morning anxiety). Will I ever learn???
Other than my idiotic drink/drug intake, I'm actually doing pretty well. I mean, I'm not falling down drunk and making an @$$ out of myself or anything; I'm getting things done around the house, seeing my friends, helping my mom, writing/recording music, etc.
I know, that sounds like total denial, justification, etc. And you know what? It probably is. The only thing that makes me feel even remotely good about myself is that I'm still a good person despite my addiction. I'm a Christian. I'm a vegan. I try to be the best friend, son, employee, etc. that I can be. I probably suck at it half of the time, but at least I keep working at it.
Okay, enough of my mindless babbling...
Love,
Dreamflyer
Day #5 without Klonopin and doing fine. Need to get back off the beer though. Had like 10 yesterday.how’re you holding up today @Dreamflyer ?
usually around the week mark after abusing heavy benzo doses i start to feel myself again - given that i’m just coming off of a huge binge and not months-long dependency.
an update on my end: just got back from getting some kratom from my neighbor & a small walk. it’s beautiful out today, may also write & record some music in fruity loops today as i’ve been chipping at an album for a year and a half now.
Kava makes me horribly nauseated for some reason. I took a very good brand name 30% kavalactone extract. but I just couldn't tolerate it. I can't sleep, but other than that I feel okay. I'm playing the Beatles "Revolver" album on repeat and it's comforting me as always.
Was it Kavadepot? The extract source?
No, it was "Now" brand, the same company that I get all of my supplements like B12 from. It came in capsule form. I got the warm fuzzy feeling from it, so I know that it was the real deal (plus there's no mistaking that smell/taste).
