- Joined
- Feb 8, 2006
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I found out last night that my band's bass player, and more importantly, my little soul brother and favorite tripping companion and all around one of my absolute favorite people, has been having suicidal thoughts again and is leaving, moving back with his parents to try to figure his shit out, and we have to get a new bass player. He's really scared. I think a big part of it is way excessive drug use, psychedelics and ketamine. He says he feels like his thoughts are out of control and he knows the drugs don't help but when he starts feeling really down he turns to drugs to temporarily make him feel better... I can certainly relate, as I tend to do that too. But he also in general struggles with feelings of lack of self-worth, regardless of drug use. Also he is having a sort of mid-midlife crisis where he has no idea what to do with his life and feels like the path he has been on is not actually the path he wants anymore. I had a long talk with him last night, I told him he's amazing, and that I love him and I know he can get through it if he dedicates his energy wholly into it. He was feeling really guilty about leaving the band so I told him not to worry about us or feel guilty for even a second, that we just want him to be happy above all else. He cried a little so I just hugged him and held him for a long while.
I'm really sad about it, and worried about him. I'm also really bummed we have to find a new bass player, it just won't be the same. I do hope he comes back after he figures his shit out, we all told him that there will always be a place for him in the band if he wants to come back.
Just really gutted. I'm gonna miss my little bro, a lot. He's become one of my dearest friends, even though I only met him roughly a year ago.
I'm really sad about it, and worried about him. I'm also really bummed we have to find a new bass player, it just won't be the same. I do hope he comes back after he figures his shit out, we all told him that there will always be a place for him in the band if he wants to come back.
Just really gutted. I'm gonna miss my little bro, a lot. He's become one of my dearest friends, even though I only met him roughly a year ago.