Benzos How to prevent doing something stupid on Etizolam?

[shadowstryker]

Okay, so I'll start out by saying I'm a recovering heroin addict (16 days clean). I have a heroin problem, but in reality I have a drug problem. They're my escape, I don't know how to live life sober and I'm on something every day, currently I switch between alcohol, Etizolam, or both.

That said, I know that I should stop getting fucked up every single day. I don't know why honestly, I only know that I should, if that makes sense. I'm not happy without them, other than financially I don't have an issue with it, but all my friends tell me it's a problem. With that little bit of backstory, on to the main topic...

I have enough alcohol left for one more day of abuse. I have enough Etizolam left for one more abuse (I'll save some for sleeping/therapeutic use however). I usually use 1.2mg to sleep, sometimes 1.8mg. I plan on stopping all of this drug use by "going out with a bang", if you will. So I plan on taking either 3mg or 4.2mg tonight.

Now, last time I did this I woke up 6 hours later after passing out in my bed, discovered I'd emptied half my bottle of Etizolam, took a total of around 26mg of Etizolam instead of the intended 3-4mg, and woke up feeling pretty sober. That is, until I fell down a flight of stairs without hardly even feeling it and everyone around me telling me I was talking extremely slowly. This continued for another 4-5 hours after waking up as well.

I don't want this to happen again, but I still want to take the pills and enjoy the night. How do I stop myself from doing something so fucking stupid like that time? Because I have absolutely no memory of taking the pills of anything else I may have done. Which I'm fine with not having memory, I just don't want to so stupid shit...

 

[shadowstryker]

I've already taken 3mg, and considering this website isn't an instant-response kinda thing I probably may do stupid shit anyway. But it'll be interesting none the less! Also helpful for the future.

 

[shadowstryker]

Up to 3.6mg. I'm hoping keeping a log of when I take and how much I take will help me not so something retarded.

 

[axl blaze]

have your friend/roommate hide the pills from you?

if not... try to exercise some semblance of self-control?

 

[eye dew Things]

What up man....I take Etizolam daily...about 8 mgs. Are you going cold turkey?? I have a good supply in case of emergencies. when I was younger I did stupid shit on Benzos.

 

[CfZrx]

You are blacked out right now imho.

I've already taken 3mg, and considering this website isn't an instant-response kinda thing I probably may do stupid shit anyway. But it'll be interesting none the less! Also helpful for the future.

 

[shadowstryker]

4.8mg Etizolam now. Definitely feeling it for sure, but I still feel "in control". That's like what, 50mg Valium?

 

[shadowstryker]

have your friend/roommate hide the pills from you?

if not... try to exercise some semblance of self-control?

No roomate to hide the pills from me unfortunately. I did however put 4 pills in a bag, with the pills cut into halves, so that I rely on the bag instead of a bottle of the stuff. I just used the fourth pill unfortunately, though.

You are blacked out right now imho.

I don't know man, is there a way to tell at all? I mean, I'm at a point where walking is a struggle and talking is slow (although seems normal to me), and it took me probably 15 minutes to untangle a set of TV coords for my TV headset (playing some video games right now), but other than that I'm fine. I don't feel like doing anything stupid...how would one even know if they were blacked out?

 

[shadowstryker]

Also I know exactly how much I've taken, I'm pretty sure I know exactly where I've been and what I'm doing. I'm about to take one more pill and then I'm probably done.

 

[eye dew Things]

I do the same thing...just relax after taking my son home from the weekend. Play Video games and smoke on Etizolam. Thru the years I learned to respect benzo's. Try to keep a descent regiment with mgs. and frequency of use. My tolerance has Skyrocketed. I can't afford to eat a 10 strip at once. Good Luck,
May go roam the wasteland on Fallout 4.

 

[shadowstryker]

I do the same thing...just relax after taking my son home from the weekend. Play Video games and smoke on Etizolam. Thru the years I learned to respect benzo's. Try to keep a descent regiment with mgs. and frequency of use. My tolerance has Skyrocketed. I can't afford to eat a 10 strip at once. Good Luck,
May go roam the wasteland on Fallout 4.

Yeah, I'll probably end up going to sleep soon. Currently I'm just listening to music, but like I said before I still feel like I'm in full control. Honestly after 3mg (on 6mg right now) I haven't felt a huge difference. I'll probably take one more pill before sleeping to total 7.2mg Etizolam for the night.

Out of curiosity though, what would happen if I took the test of the bottle? That'd put be at 11mg Etizolam for the night, and I'm sure if wouldn't be all that different. I'm honestly chasing the effect where you can close your eyes and almost dream, not sure how to explain it but it's similar to Heroin. Sometimes it happens when I take half a pill, other times when I take 2. It seems kind of sporadic.

 

[eye dew Things]

Hmmm...I wouldn't take any more. I'm a tad different. I always take 1 large dose at a time....about 6 mgs. IME it's hard to chase a benzo high. In the end it's a waste. Right now I'm wide awake after my Kratom Dose, so I'm about to grab 5-6 MORE Etizolam. Just screwing my tolerance more. What would happen if you took the rest of the bottle? Please don't do it. 7 mg. is plenty enough. When you have some for tomorrow, you'll be glad you saved them.

 

[shadowstryker]

Sonething I just thought about while laying in bed, but I've got enough Etizolam and enough alcohol to end all this right here. No more struggle with addiction, no more pain, nothin. It'd be a painless death too. I've always been too cowardice to do it but I really don't care at this point. One last night...and I'll be honest it wasn't half bad.

 

[Johndoedoe.junk]

Be careful dosing etiz SS if you have no appreciable tolerance. With etiz there is a fine line between recreational and blackout city. I've personally never blacked out on the stuff but my cousin has and he'd do pretty blow-it type stuff like passing out under the computer desk or one time he even spilled some peanuts, bent over to clean them up and passed out only to be discovered by a parent in the morning. My tolerance to the stuff is tremendous. I can take 10mg with no blackout and just some great sleep but I generally have the tolerance of an elephant almost instantly when it comes to any meds.

My point is ne careful and don't become physically dependent on the stuff. Even though it's not technically a benzo you will have benzo withdrawals from it and they are horrific.

 

[UnderFaz]

dude, you gotta take it easy, trust me. benzos can give you a really negative perspective on things sometimes. at least for me.

you really need to take the concept of self-control seriously. when it comes to dosing, and being sure i don't take way more than intended, here are a few methods that might help you out:

- i have my pills in a pill bottle, but i have a small metal pill container like they sell at any pharmacy which i'll put a few pills into, however many i intend to take that night. practice restraint and don't EVER take more out of the bottle after you've started taking anything. only take the ones you put in the container when you were sober.

- learn that higher doses are usually not more recreational, at least when it comes to benzos. maybe this is different, biologically, for different people, but i really don't see the upside of taking a bunch of pills that i'm going to need throughout the rest of the month in order to get to sleep on time, when all it's gonna do is make me dumb and then fall asleep. the benzo "high" isn't pleasurable to me, honestly. they're definitely useful in getting to sleep, especially after taking stimulants, but i've just never really enjoyed getting "fucked up" on benzos. hopefully you'll quickly learn that it's a bottomless pit, that you're chasing a non-existent high, and that it's a good way to run out of meds you need.

 

[Codeine Demon]

Etizolam is a weird drug, if I get the intaas branded ones I can take 15mg and feel in control completely, if I get the etizest ones then 4mg will have me on my ass.

That being said, the only way to not do stupid things on benzos is to not do benzos. I know it's a theno not a benzo

 

[SKR]

You are blacked out right now imho.

Very actually LMFAO right now! That is the single fuckin funniest post I'll see all month at least! Thank you CfZrx.

On a HR note - It's not the wisest move you'll make this year SS.....am I about to say this?..... Um, yes I will.....once you are conscious again and get your bearings, assuming you don't already require an Etiz taper, go out and score some Heroin man, fuck it - you got my vote man, you REALLY don't want a monster Benzo habit - you weren't really that banged up from Heroin imo so just go back to that and leave this shit alone.

 

[shadowstryker]

Very actually LMFAO right now! That is the single fuckin funniest post I'll see all month at least! Thank you CfZrx.

On a HR note - It's not the wisest move you'll make this year SS.....am I about to say this?..... Um, yes I will.....once you are conscious again and get your bearings, assuming you don't already require an Etiz taper, go out and score some Heroin man, fuck it - you got my vote man, you REALLY don't want a monster Benzo habit - you weren't really that banged up from Heroin imo so just go back to that and leave this shit alone.

I'm awake, and honestly I've been wanting to pick up heroin again for the past couple days, and I have the money, but it'd leave me with like $20 left inbmy bank account and thankfully my work started scheduling me again but I simply can't afford it. I'm seriously gonna try to get some though, hell I've been dreaming about it...

 

[Zerwas]

Just don't take more than 2mg and you are fine. Get a Timelocked-Safe, put the pills in there after taking a low dose and set the lock for the next day or so. That way you can not redose until you fuck up...

 

[Keif' Richards]

Don't take benzodiazepines (thienodiazepines included) if you lack the self-control to moderate dosage. You will never be safe otherwise. The urge to take escalated doses of benzodiazepines is much greater when in withdrawal, as they certainly help with some facets of withdrawal, but not all and this can lead us, in our already inebriated state to consume more subconsciously hoping for all of our symptoms to be mitigated. This happens with alcohol as well to many. This includes PAWS to a degree as well.

I'm only speaking for myself here. When I've been in opioid withdrawal and have taken benzodiazepines or alcohol, it's never been good. In alcohol's defense it is quite self-limiting as I can only stomach so much before I feel very sick - I normally can drink copious amounts of alcohol with no sickness until it's worn off. In all seriousness, you must seriously respect the power of benzodiazepines, especially when in virtually unlimited supply. It's really not too farfetched to imagine one being very sick, taking a heavy dose of benzo's and then getting caught trying to break into a pharmacy in a blacked out stupor, or - insert life altering event for the worse here -.

If you're having trouble controlling your intake, knowing full well that you have issues and logically should not take them, than you really should not be in control of your dosing. Do you have a significant other? That would make things real easy, as then they can divvy out the pills to you on a schedule in preconceived amounts. Then, you can ingest your benzo's in safety, without having to worry about overdosing yourself into blackout territory.

The second best solution is to have a friend hold onto them, one who can see you at least once every day and drop you off your supply and hold onto the rest. You still have the potential to overdose yourself, but at least with this method you'll only be consuming a day's worth of medication as opposed to a month's worth. The only other option I can think of is ordering extremely small quantities piecemeal on a regular basis, but I'm sure that would be a real bitch.

Ponder these options OP. I just reread your post and realized you're not currently in acute withdrawal like I had originally thought so please ignore the references to opioid withdrawal in my post. If you are not using them for this previously stated purpose and are just trying to party, you need to stop. They don't work for you and you are heading down a path that can lead to utter destruction and I'm not over-dramatizing this. You need to give all of your pills to someone, anyone who you reasonably trust and work out a solid taper schedule. One that leaves you mostly comfortable, but a small amount of pain will most likely be included in the process.

I would really focus on quitting before you do something really stupid while blacked out. That's a lot of etizolam that you've "just kind of taken". I am lucky to have recovered from my fuck-ups, but benzodiazepines in the the same dose range you're describing have almost led me to complete ruin. All for a night of what I thought was going to be relaxation, guitar and maybe a movie. Be careful.