Don't take benzodiazepines (thienodiazepines included) if you lack the self-control to moderate dosage. You will never be safe otherwise. The urge to take escalated doses of benzodiazepines is much greater when in withdrawal, as they certainly help with some facets of withdrawal, but not all and this can lead us, in our already inebriated state to consume more subconsciously hoping for all of our symptoms to be mitigated. This happens with alcohol as well to many. This includes PAWS to a degree as well.
I'm only speaking for myself here. When I've been in opioid withdrawal and have taken benzodiazepines or alcohol, it's never been good. In alcohol's defense it is quite self-limiting as I can only stomach so much before I feel very sick - I normally can drink copious amounts of alcohol with no sickness until it's worn off. In all seriousness, you must seriously respect the power of benzodiazepines, especially when in virtually unlimited supply. It's really not too farfetched to imagine one being very sick, taking a heavy dose of benzo's and then getting caught trying to break into a pharmacy in a blacked out stupor, or - insert life altering event for the worse here -.
If you're having trouble controlling your intake, knowing full well that you have issues and logically should not take them, than you really should not be in control of your dosing. Do you have a significant other? That would make things real easy, as then they can divvy out the pills to you on a schedule in preconceived amounts. Then, you can ingest your benzo's in safety, without having to worry about overdosing yourself into blackout territory.
The second best solution is to have a friend hold onto them, one who can see you at least once every day and drop you off your supply and hold onto the rest. You still have the potential to overdose yourself, but at least with this method you'll only be consuming a day's worth of medication as opposed to a month's worth. The only other option I can think of is ordering extremely small quantities piecemeal on a regular basis, but I'm sure that would be a real bitch.
Ponder these options OP. I just reread your post and realized you're not currently in acute withdrawal like I had originally thought so please ignore the references to opioid withdrawal in my post. If you are not using them for this previously stated purpose and are just trying to party, you need to stop. They don't work for you and you are heading down a path that can lead to utter destruction and I'm not over-dramatizing this. You need to give all of your pills to someone, anyone who you reasonably trust and work out a solid taper schedule. One that leaves you mostly comfortable, but a small amount of pain will most likely be included in the process.
I would really focus on quitting before you do something really stupid while blacked out. That's a lot of etizolam that you've "just kind of taken". I am lucky to have recovered from my fuck-ups, but benzodiazepines in the the same dose range you're describing have almost led me to complete ruin. All for a night of what I thought was going to be relaxation, guitar and maybe a movie. Be careful.
