wow peppersocks, your little mention of hitler made me look up
this article. I'm not sure exactly how true it is but it sure as hell sent chills down my spine.
reading that made me flash back to my ritalin addiction and how I felt when I was speeding like crazy feeling like I was on top of a mountain due to the immense euphoria. Then I just imagined a german soldier laughing maniacally with saucer sized pupils firing an automatic weapon at innocent people. What a fucking creepy comparison for my subconscious mind to make.
I'm pretty experienced with stimulant induced psychosis. It started with me being in the bathroom staring at my reflection and doing compulsive things like popping pimples, when all of the sudden I'd think I was hearing my housemate (who was a really awkward pot dealing asian chick) talk about me with her boyfriend. I would keep thinking she was basically talking shit on me behind my back, but could never be sure if she actually was. On top of that, she's such an awkward non-confrontational person I never knew if she like secretly hated me or not.
The thing with psychosis is that all the lingering dopamine in your brain caused you to make all these associations and fantasize about these delusional things, and until the dopamine stops flowing, your mind keeps adding new associations to the big delusional plot playing in your head. So even after you've decided that you're falling down a rabbit hole and that things you've been thinking about for the last 20 minutes were complete quackery, certain stimuli can make your mind go right back into that delusional association mode and it can be difficult to get certain convictions out of your mind.
that's why I think benzodiazepines are very useful for shutting down a speeding mind and inducing some GABAergic relaxation. It's certainly a good option if one really starts heading down a rabbit hole.
today I found out that my sister tripped at a music festival called "gem and jam" the other day, which is something I've still never talked to her about. Im excited to hear about that side of her life because she's currently putting herself through law school and is at the top of her class despite having had dreadlocks for almost 5 years of her life

(she's a genius if I say so myself). Apparently Alex Grey had a 45 minute "Entheogen Discussion" on one of the main stages in between two pretty popular music groups which I thought was interesting.
my little brother is at gem and jam as well blasted on MXE and probably acid. He's having the time of his life i'm jealous as hell.