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Greatest drug induced quotes....Trippin/rollin/stoned/doped/dusted LOL's go here!

One time I took 600 mg of diphenhydramine, and I had my friend be my trip-sitter. After about 2 hours of dead silence, I shouted "WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?"

He was just sitting there texting. I hallucinated him being an asshole.
 
Funny things you've said about drugs or while on drugs

We all have some funny quotes that we or our friends have said while doing drugs.

"why are we smoking it like that, that's how crackheads do it"
"that's cause it's crack"
 
"Wow, crack is so fucking bad."
"I know, I can't believe we are actually smoking it right now."
"Never again."

true story B) well all of these are but that's the exact conversation I had with this guy.

"WHOOOOOOOA!!!! Is that an alligator?! Oh wait, it's just a branch."
it did look like an alligator though.
 
Person 1: "you're in california right? so you can get weed scripted right? I've never seen hash."

my reply: "EjenAaenaktneaKNGFenfeaktnekeljeaNBTloNG I"
my attempt to fix that: "ing"
lucky number 3?: "Ong"
and finally..... "Omg, I'm noddinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
 
So this one time down in school I was watchin Nascar and I had my confederate shirt on that said "if this shirt offends you, you need a history lesson". And you kno i was with one of my boys and we just killed a 30 after the race had just ended. So likewe leave my room and in the front lobby of the dorms they got a whole buncha fuckin beads ( you know those party beads that are different colors)

So im up there taking grabbin as many as i could cuz i was in party mode man you kno what im sayin. The girl was like you cant take them all you have to share. I was like oh shit my bad. N then shes like yer shirt doesnt offend me. I was like fuck are you talkin about, yer not black, yer chinese.

My friend thought it was a pretty funny but i walked out with like 10 of them necklases like a boss.
 
"Duuuuuude you look like Waldo!"
He runs off to the woods to go pee.
"Where's Waldo?"

"What if you cut off your foot and ate it like a popsicle?"
 
To a friend, while tripping serious balls on acid: "Dude, go check out the toilet, I'm all fucked up!"

I'd just come from the bathroom where both the walls and my reflection in the mirror looked insanely trippy. I told my friend to go look in the bathroom, thinking (by some strange twisted logic) that my friend would see the room as I saw it, and realize how fucked up I was.
 
1394 said:
"I'm never smoking again"
Click to expand...

or "I swear, I'm never drinking again, I know I've said this before but I'm not." while puking a lot.

At a festival, I was tripping really, really hard on LSD and the crowd was shitty-they kept moaning and complaining. I got it in my head that I was stepping on their faces and injuring them so I started patting the dirt and then realized it was cool and told my buddy, "Oh my god dude, I thought I was stepping on people."
 
The funniest thing that I have ever witnessed (also the scariest, I might add) is when a friend of mine dosed some 25-I and found himself in a loop.

It started off pretty funny when he threw up a little bit on his shirt and we told him to change it; well, he kept walking upstairs to get a shirt and then back downstairs... without a clean shirt! We were all outside smoking and saying to him, "Alex! Where's your shirt, dude?" and he'd say, "oh, right," then go back upstairs only to repeat this whole thing over again. I swear he must have done it a million times.

Then, he started to repeat the same phrases over and over again. He would keep asking in a very child-like way, "What should we do, guys?" And then he'd say (as a question), "Should we don't smoke?" and "Let's everybody don't be a cigarette!" You almost need to say these things out loud to realize how funny they are lol (We kept going outside to smoke, and he didn't like it, so I think that was part of it.)

But then things just hit the fucking fan, man. He could not say anything else but the same phrases over and over again, and those phrases were, for the most part: "asian girl!" and "big tits!" and "everybody don't be a cigarette!" He just rolled around in bed and would put these phrases together, like he was trying to find the right combination of phrases. He'd say... "asian girl, big tits, everybody don't be a cigarette!" then he'd think about it and say, "big tits, asian girl? don't be a cigarette... asian girl.... big tits!" It was ridiculous, and we were rolling on the floor laughing.

Then, six hours later when we realized that he wasn't coming out of it (no, really, six hours), we kind of freaked out. No, we didn't call the ambulance or anything like that. We were novice trippers, for sure, but we knew enough not to do that. Anyway, we stayed the night with him to make sure he came around, and, eventually, he fell asleep and then woke up and was perfectly fine.

But we still laugh about it, man. "asian girl! big tits!" And the best part is that this kid does not do drugs very often (that's part of the reason why he wanted so many people there with him, people who are a little more experienced); he's very quiet and reserved, and, for whatever reason, he had this idea that if he tripped, he would come to some revelation over why his girlfriend of five years left him. In other words, he was looking for some great revelation, a religious experience of sorts, and "big tits" is not something that he would say in front of anyone, not his friends and certainly not in front of the few acquaintances that were there at his apartment (friends of friends).

We joke that he did have that revelation and that he did come to some great understanding, but that his brain fried at the very moment when he had it, and so, like a skipping record, all we know is that it had something to do with an asian girl with big tits and definitely, definitely not smoking or "being a cigarette."
 
"I'm really fucked up." has come up numerous times on a variety of drugs. "This feels so fucking good." is another usually when on opiates. I once asked a clock "what the fuck was going on" or something like that after one of my first really intense DXM experiences. Dancing and singing on amps, flailing around on DXM (dancing?). A bunch of sentimental shit while drunk and on benzos. A number of ridiculous statements while on barbs and benzos, often getting downright beligerent. Having claimed several times, and still claim to be in love with opiates as one is in love with another person, often saying they are the best thing in the world. This is true to me. "blah, blah, blah" while on opiates, agreeing and complimenting whatever is I see or hear. Didn't say this, but came to some sort of conclusion on DXM that there were only two unnatural, truly bad things in the world - abortion, and anorexia nervosa, all else could be excused in some way. Weird shit on DXM, but I like it even though I haven't used it in a while. I am sure there is much more, but these were just a few that came to mind.
 
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