Quick goodbye to everyone.

This is brilliant, a glimpse of light in a dark world. Anyone who thinks drug takers a re selfish and careless should read this. Hoptis, Kitty in the Dark and all the others, you should really be commended for your level or care, that went totally above and beyond the call of moderating. I am so happy to be involved in this beautiful website, thank you all! :)
 
I see you're online. R u okay?

It's been 3 days or so. R u feeling better? I know the fked up things that oxy's can to to you. Man they can make u feel soooo good then bring you to deepest pits of depression, fk depression I mean blackness.
 
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The methadone is going great for me, it's really helping in that I have no desire at all to be doing other opiates. I was in my uncles room today (alone) and I saw his stash of oxycontin out, there would have been easily 1000mg there and he would not have noticed if I had taken any of them. Well guess what - I didn't. I simply found him and told him that he should probably lock them away so that I'm not tempted in future :)

I also went on a shopping spree today, I figure I'm starting a new life, so I need new stuff. Also it means I've got less money I could spend on drugs. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a new bottle of cologne, and I got my eyebrow pierced (which I didn't feel thanks to the effects of the 'done :p)
 
mepat, I've been on MMT for 2 months now (very low dose for a VERY high tolerance) and it has helped alot. I dont CRAVE opiates like before and no WD. I hate the hospital and would really hate being dope sick there, hang in there and the methadone will help, I promise. I've been there, the blackest part of depression. The good thing about methadone (from my experience) is not having the sinking depression of being off the opiates, I don't 'get high' but I'm not thinking about suicide anymore.

please PM me if you ever want to chat, I just registered today, mainly because I'm at home (back at the 'rents) on MMT and very bored. Luckily I found BL and have been addicted ever since. I dumped all of my 'so-called-friends' because I didn't want to tempt myself and I was feeling very lonely BUT now I have BL. Which is great because I heard boredom is one of the main reasons people relapse.

P.S. Not that I am an angel :|
 
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mepat1111 said:
The methadone is going great for me, it's really helping in that I have no desire at all to be doing other opiates. I was in my uncles room today (alone) and I saw his stash of oxycontin out, there would have been easily 1000mg there and he would not have noticed if I had taken any of them. Well guess what - I didn't. I simply found him and told him that he should probably lock them away so that I'm not tempted in future :)

I also went on a shopping spree today, I figure I'm starting a new life, so I need new stuff. Also it means I've got less money I could spend on drugs. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a new bottle of cologne, and I got my eyebrow pierced (which I didn't feel thanks to the effects of the 'done :p)
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Might as well get a Tattoo while your at it, buddy has the text "I AM WHAT I AM" on his stomach next to a picture of jesus on the cross and hes waiting to get a picture of satan to show like the light and dark sides of himself.
 
Please PM me if you ever want to chat. I've been really bored on MMT (2 months now) and would like to talk to someone who's been throuh the blackest part of opiates and made it back out.
 
Will do mate, I'm about to head out of the house now for a while, I need to escape home, just gonna go hang with one of my (clean) mates) for a while.

Just so you know, as long as you've got that greenlighter status next to your name you won't be able to PM me back so I'll prolly PM you my email or something.
 
I remember how I was all fucked up when I was into a big use back in the day, had an ecstasy overdose, came out hospital feel like a new person. Kinda lifts your spirits and changes you for the better.

Glad to see how its made you a lot more into the healthy lifestyle, although I'm still far from it myself with vikodin, and cocaine use (haven't in 2 weeks though).
 
I understand about the 'get out of the house' thing. I just tried to get some sleep myself but no luck. Sometimes methadone will do that, keeps me up all night. I just get so fking bored. But I am happy to hear that you feel better and are getting out of the house. 'They' say to find a hobby-I had one-drugs...

I find things really bland now and welcome the opportunity to hear from someone who is going through same shit as me, sometimes it makes things seem like they are the norm and my life isn't so shitty. Although I have alot to be thankful for (as do you, for what I can see you have alot of love here at BL, and your family seems to be sticking behind you. Also good to hear you have some clean mates, I wish I did.

Stay with it, and as someone earlier posted...keep fighting the good fight.

I'm no angel now but trying my best to stay away, myself. Always so damn tempting with reality being so, so....blahblahblah....and with so many mind altering things just a phone call away.
 
mepat1111 said:
The methadone is going great for me, it's really helping in that I have no desire at all to be doing other opiates. I was in my uncles room today (alone) and I saw his stash of oxycontin out, there would have been easily 1000mg there and he would not have noticed if I had taken any of them. Well guess what - I didn't. I simply found him and told him that he should probably lock them away so that I'm not tempted in future :)

I also went on a shopping spree today, I figure I'm starting a new life, so I need new stuff. Also it means I've got less money I could spend on drugs. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a new bottle of cologne, and I got my eyebrow pierced (which I didn't feel thanks to the effects of the 'done :p)
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Fantastic to see you back and hear that things are going so well. I'm sure you look fantastic in your new threads to. :D
 
lil angel15 said:
Fantastic to see you back and hear that things are going so well. I'm sure you look fantastic in your new threads to. :D
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Hehe I think I do, I might even get someone to take a photo and post it on here I think so everyone can see the new me.
 
I am so happy to hear that you've made it through ok!!
I've been in a position similar to yours before, where my friends called my parents about me overdosing so I could be taken to the hospital, and were the reason I made it through okay. It seems like your world is crashing in at the time, but once you get through it all, it's amazing how your outlook can change. stay strong, you've got a supportive family at home and a supportive family on Bluelight to back you up when you need it. :)

Your story is an amazing one, and just know that wherever you are in life, there is always SOMEONE out there who values you and cares about you.

best wishes on your recovery!!
 
MMT least time spent on it the better!
If you cannot manage without though , well tis up to you but it grips like a fucking vice !
 
^I agree, it's only been 2 mos for me and I dont even think about abusing my methadone as of fear of not having any before next doctor visit........
 
Hmmm.

I still can't get over it. I don't know you mepat but I have an overwhelming sense of happiness that it all worked out. It feels quite surreal... but I really am genuinely happy. I guess whenever I hear about someone who has attempted suicide (successfully or otherwise) it always really effects me, as I've been down that path myself, but to see you post again ... I can't really explain how I feel so I won't even try.
 
zophen said:
MMT least time spent on it the better!
If you cannot manage without though , well tis up to you but it grips like a fucking vice !
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Yeah I'm really worried about it to be honest, I wanna get off it and onto bupe ASAP.
 
^ Why not just get off it full stop ? I am perplexed as to why people want to take buprenorphine , it's absolutely horrible IMO!
 
mepat1111 said:
The methadone is going great for me, it's really helping in that I have no desire at all to be doing other opiates. I was in my uncles room today (alone) and I saw his stash of oxycontin out, there would have been easily 1000mg there and he would not have noticed if I had taken any of them. Well guess what - I didn't. I simply found him and told him that he should probably lock them away so that I'm not tempted in future :)

I also went on a shopping spree today, I figure I'm starting a new life, so I need new stuff. Also it means I've got less money I could spend on drugs. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 shirts, a pair of sunglasses, a new bottle of cologne, and I got my eyebrow pierced (which I didn't feel thanks to the effects of the 'done :p)
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Well done mate, thats the spirit.

Can I make a suggestion...........that you actually write some fairly detailed notes for yourself about your life, about how the addiction started, about what you felt and about all the things you have been through including really personal feelings about stuff.

The idea is that maybe one day in the future..........and that day may not come for 30 years, but just m,aybe you have a best seller right there.

You do need to capture the moment now if you can...........in even a few months you will have forgotten much of it, specially the feelings..........it needs to be done now.

By the way, Im hoping we might catch up at some time seeing as your just down the road.........lol.
 
zophen said:
^ Why not just get off it full stop ? I am perplexed as to why people want to take buprenorphine , it's absolutely horrible IMO!
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Basically I am not ready to go cold turkey at this point, I can't deal with the withdrawals. Also I'm not quite ready to go every day without some sort of high, no matter how subtle.
 
MazDan said:
Well done mate, thats the spirit.

Can I make a suggestion...........that you actually write some fairly detailed notes for yourself about your life, about how the addiction started, about what you felt and about all the things you have been through including really personal feelings about stuff.

The idea is that maybe one day in the future..........and that day may not come for 30 years, but just m,aybe you have a best seller right there.

You do need to capture the moment now if you can...........in even a few months you will have forgotten much of it, specially the feelings..........it needs to be done now.

By the way, Im hoping we might catch up at some time seeing as your just down the road.........lol.
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I'm not very good at writing, especially involving my feelings, but I'll give it a go, it sounds like a great idea :)

Check your PMs.
 
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