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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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As I recall lexapro can have about a 35 hour half life, meaning that 35 hours after peak plasma concentrations were intitally reached they would drop to half, and then 35 hours later half again.

But there is some momentum to the neural activity induced by anything - even if your foot is off the gas, the car is still coming to a stop if you will.

Can you describe your head symptoms? Eye problems, neck problems or back of the head problems?
 
Lexapro can be rough at the start. I'm on zoloft and it was rough at first too. you may want to try that one at a very small dose.
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
As I recall lexapro can have about a 35 hour half life, meaning that 35 hours after peak plasma concentrations were intitally reached they would drop to half, and then 35 hours later half again.

But there is some momentum to the neural activity induced by anything - even if your foot is off the gas, the car is still coming to a stop if you will.

Can you describe your head symptoms? Eye problems, neck problems or back of the head problems?
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Head pressure more than a headache. No pounding, just a feeling that maybe I'm wearing a motorcycle helmet or a cap that's way too tight. Mostly across the forehead and top of the head. It seems to correlate a lot with my brain fog. The more head pressure, the greater the fog.

My only real eye problems are floaters and I think one eye is shuddering from side to side really fast which makes focussing on things a little difficult if I only have that eye open - it's extremely minor though.

The big concerns were the depression and anxiety rearing their heads again. Yes, I expected it to get worse but not peaking 7 days after I took it.

It feels like my brain is suffering some sort of PTSD, and that any shock to the system, be it the initial MDMA overdose, a small line of cocaine a few months back, or a tiny dose of an SSRI puts it back into panic mode.
 
The scalp pressure thing seems quite common. One doc has told me that these scalene muscles that get kicked in with anxiety can tug on the scalp, and these are the same muscles that can cause issues with cranial nerves and occasional arteries that supply the brain (and hands).

So I wonder if one possibility is that the scalenes kick in and cause both the scalp pressure and put a bit of pressure on an artery or cranial nerve helping supply the brain, thus causing the brain fog and scalp pressure in one fel swoop
 
I really wonder how to deal with the sleep issues. How can I even recover if I dont get more than 3-5 hours of bad sleep a night?
 
I am new to BlueLight, hopefully you can me with regards to a potential MDMA LTC. Essentially my story is in late January 2016, I tried MDMA for the first time at a party in the form of crystals and pills. I stayed at the party taking MDMA two nights in a row. The first night I took approximately 0.5g of Molly crystal in bombs and the next day I took a pill of unknown strength.I had a very bad initial comedown in the days after the party, feeling bad and depressed however after 3 or 4 days I began to feel fine again. I was smoking a lot of weed in the months before and after the party. I also began to notice moments of depersonalization and derealization in the weeks after the party.On March 31st 2016 I smoked a bong of weed and had a huge panic attack. This set off tonnes of symptoms like visual snow, DP/DR, crazy anxiety, sexual dysfunction like low libido and anorgasmia (ejaculatory anhedonia) and emotional numbness/anhedonia. I still have most of these symptoms today 15 months later but to a lesser degree overall.I was convinced I had set off Depersonalization disorder but only recently have I learnt about an MDMA LTC. Does this sound like an LTC? Can an LTC be delayed i.e. a couple months after the MDMA use?I have been taking Sertraline on my Doctor's advice for 6 months but it hasn't really changed any of my symptoms- would an SSRI make this worse? I haven't been exercising much or eating great these last 15 months due to the depression and anxiety - do you think I still have potential to recover if I start acting now?Sorry for all the questions, I am just shocked that there is a community of people who are sharing very similar symptoms as me but now I'm worried that my issue isn't psychological but maybe physical brain damage from my drug abuse. It would mean the world to me if you could reply.
 
I do not know if anybody else has this experience but my symptoms vary diurnally and are worst in the morning.

This is in regards to Kpin

I notice if I take Kpin in the morning I get effects that last pretty much the whole day (even if I take a nap during the day).

However, if I take it at night and then go to bed the effect is gone the next day and I just wasted a benzo option.

Could this be potentially related to CRH/cortisol/HPA axis issues as far as the reason this is seen? Or the paralbumin GABA stuff?

Also the effect lasting the whole day does not seem to depend on the benzo I use. Even if I use Ativan-which is short acting-the effect still lasts the whole day if taken in the morning.
 
rrandy said:
it makes it hard to ignore the notion of damage.
cotcha you said your sleep was very bad at the beginning, when did it start improving and how is it now?
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Insomnia was the bane of my existence for 3-4 years, but as I turned 19 and started to practice mindfulness (and actually get the hang of it) and also after I spent a few months on risperidone I started to sleep longer and be able to sleep every night. Cardio and treating physical pain can also be really important. I also had sleep apnea even though I was skinny, that got treated with a nose surgery (I couldn't breathe through my nose so I ended up snoring through my mouth).

Once I started improving sleep wise it was like I was able to get to sleep easier when I was well rested. Whereas if I hadn't been sleeping then it was paradoxically harder to sleep (my mind was noisier). Mindfulness was also easier when I had slept a bit.

I probably average around 6-7 hours of sleep now, sometimes more and sometimes less. Sometimes its less fragmented and more restful. Still working on mindfulness, but a lot of the times its just physical pain that limits my sleeping and messes with my mood now (back problems and stuff)
 
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socrilus said:
I do not know if anybody else has this experience but my symptoms vary diurnally and are worst in the morning.
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Do you happen to know if you snore? Do you ever have problems breathing through your nose at night?

Benzos are weird because some of them accumulate in fat strangely, and there can also be short term adaptations to benzos that can mess with the perceived timeline of effects
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
Do you happen to know if you snore? Do you ever have problems breathing through your nose at night?

Benzos are weird because some of them accumulate in fat strangely, and there can also be short term adaptations to benzos that can mess with the perceived timeline of effects
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Nope I don't have any snoring issues. Have roommates and they definitely would notice if I did.

Did not know about the fat accumulation of benzos.
 
Holl100 said:
I am new to BlueLight, hopefully you can me with regards to a potential MDMA LTC. Essentially my story is in late January 2016, I tried MDMA for the first time at a party in the form of crystals and pills. I stayed at the party taking MDMA two nights in a row. The first night I took approximately 0.5g of Molly crystal in bombs and the next day I took a pill of unknown strength.I had a very bad initial comedown in the days after the party, feeling bad and depressed however after 3 or 4 days I began to feel fine again. I was smoking a lot of weed in the months before and after the party. I also began to notice moments of depersonalization and derealization in the weeks after the party.On March 31st 2016 I smoked a bong of weed and had a huge panic attack. This set off tonnes of symptoms like visual snow, DP/DR, crazy anxiety, sexual dysfunction like low libido and anorgasmia (ejaculatory anhedonia) and emotional numbness/anhedonia. I still have most of these symptoms today 15 months later but to a lesser degree overall.I was convinced I had set off Depersonalization disorder but only recently have I learnt about an MDMA LTC. Does this sound like an LTC? Can an LTC be delayed i.e. a couple months after the MDMA use?I have been taking Sertraline on my Doctor's advice for 6 months but it hasn't really changed any of my symptoms- would an SSRI make this worse? I haven't been exercising much or eating great these last 15 months due to the depression and anxiety - do you think I still have potential to recover if I start acting now?Sorry for all the questions, I am just shocked that there is a community of people who are sharing very similar symptoms as me but now I'm worried that my issue isn't psychological but maybe physical brain damage from my drug abuse. It would mean the world to me if you could reply.
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Theres no such thing as an LTC, you have dp/dr disorder which was triggered by drugs, so treat it as such. Unfortuantly, the majority of dp/dr sufferers do not respond to ssris very well and can often worsen things. I think its somewhere in the ballpark of 3% of positive responders. Around 30% have success with lamictal so that may be a better option if you have access to it depending on your location. If youre from the UK like me you may struggle to get hold of it unless you go private, whilst if youre from the US it should be somewhat easier to obtain. Otherwise living a healthy life and just waiting it out is one of the only options dp sufferers have until it goes away
 
How can you be sure of that? I see lots of people on this thread who definitely seem convinced an LTC is a possibility.
 
Because there is literally no condition called a long term comedown. Its not a real thing, its just become a blanket term used for a number of drug induced conditions such as dp/dr-disorder, depression, HPPD etc. You need to treat your illness for what it truly is not some made up illness. In my first month I told myself I had a 'LTC' and treated myself such and did me nothing but harm. Your choice
 
I think SSRIs don't work because for most it's not a serotonin issue.....it's a misfiring of neurons is my guess, which is why lamactil can seem to help.

I'm a year in and still suffering from eye floaters, BFEP, Tinnitus, hyperacusis, and tingling along my scalp. Cotcha my docs say this is just anxiety....but I know that's not true because I was feeling better after the initial comedown, then after I relapsed on weed I started to feel better to, but then relapsed a third time fapping and taking that curcumin supplement. It was weird, every relapse felt just like the initial OD....my eyes would dilate huge, puking, shaking, brain zaps....

You neck muscle theory could have something to do with it, my neck and jaw muscles are often tight....I go the dentist and doctor in the next few months, I'll see what they say.

And all - the insomnia does get better, my sleep isn't back to baseline by any means, but the first few months I averaged maybe 3 hours a night. Now I get about 5 or 6 hours, sometimes 7. Good enough for me.
 
martainnn said:
Because there is literally no condition called a long term comedown. Its not a real thing, its just become a blanket term used for a number of drug induced conditions such as dp/dr-disorder, depression, HPPD etc. You need to treat your illness for what it truly is not some made up illness. In my first month I told myself I had a 'LTC' and treated myself such and did me nothing but harm. Your choice
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The treatment for LTC, DP and DR, HPPD is basically the same though. Your body is overloaded, over-stimulated. Stay off all drugs, no caffeiene, no alcohol. SSRI's only after 6 months or so. Benzo use only if necessary. Eat right and exercise. Maintain social relationships.

It gets muddy when people say "I smoke weed and I'm fine" or "I actually drink coffee, don't know what the big deal is." This is why a forum is probably the worst place to go for help. We need a new way to get the word out to people in this condition. I am trying to figure out a way to raise awareness anonymously.
 
martainnn said:
Because there is literally no condition called a long term comedown. Its not a real thing, its just become a blanket term used for a number of drug induced conditions such as dp/dr-disorder, depression, HPPD etc. You need to treat your illness for what it truly is not some made up illness. In my first month I told myself I had a 'LTC' and treated myself such and did me nothing but harm. Your choice
Click to expand...

Well terminology is kind of important.

I tried ketamine therapy (and I did not have DP/DR) bc I was like if this is 'just' some depression/anxiety then that should work bc it treats those isssues.

However I was totally wrong and if caused a lot of anxiety + even induced lingering DR which according to studies the DR is supposed to dissapate in literally an hour. Well that did not happen for me and I was like wtf?? Even my doctor was surprised. The conclusion was that the reason this reaction happened is probably the same reason this 'LTC' happened.

So terminology is important just for the history at least. Drug induced anxiety is also a long word to type.
 
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