I want sex everyday from girlfriend, too much to ask?

[Arctherus]

Dude trust me. I had sex everyday multiple times a day for weeks and it became more of a chore than sex. lol

 

[IzGood]

OP, do you care about this girl's needs and feelings at all or is it all about what you want? Its not wrong to desire sex every day , twice a day or whenever. Your sex drive is what it is and there's nothing wrong with that, but it is definitely wrong to expect it and demand it.
I dont think the issue about the two of you having different sex drives at all. If it was, you could talk it out and reach some kind of a compromise. I think the issue is that you feel that your wants should be catered to regardless of how she feels.
If you don't start to get a sense of empathy and understanding then NO relationship is going to work for you, because even if you find a woman with a similar sex drive, there are still going to be things you like that she doesnt and its obvious by your own statements that you believe that only you should be able to decide what is reasonable for your partner to do and not do.
As far as this relationship, if things continue this way, then it is doomed because you really dont want to make it work. If you did, you'd be trying to find ways to make you both happy, but all you're doing is trying to find ways to satisfy your desires and ONLY your desires. From your posts, it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to cheat and are waiting for someone to give you the green light"

You say you resent her for refusing sex whenever you demand it, well I have news for you, I guarantee she is already resenting you for demanding sex whenever she doesnt want it. This is going to make her want it less and less. You seem to think all a woman has to do to be ready for sex is show up with legs akimbo or maybe face down, ass up is more your style. Either way, as has already been explained to you , a woman has to be in the mood for sex otherwise its going to be unenjoyable at best and at worst painful and even traumatic. Your posts tell me that you don't really have the sensitivity and caring to satisfy her even when she IS in the mood. The ironic thing is, if you weren't so self centered, then she probably would be more inclined to try to get herself in the mood on the days when she starts out not wanting it. Don't get me wrong, I am no man hater. I love men I just don't like selfish men. But just as I think you should care about her needs, I do believe a loving woman should care about a man's desires too , but only if he's shown that he cares about her wants, needs and desires. Relationships are a two way street But your behavior is just driving her away and as I said, if the relationship continues down this path, it is doomed to failure.

It's good to hear all the different replies to get a diverse set of opinions, but in my opinion if I have committed to be exclusive to another which means in society's standards I should not cheat and I want sex then I should get it. I think it's unreasonable to expect your man to not cheat if you won't put out because you are tired / have a headache...

I don't think women would ever understand this type of outlook because they have different brains to guys but to me, sex is like eating. If I'm hungry and I don't eat now, I just can't let it go and eat later. It's an ongoing need that is at the forefront of my mind until it gets satisfied.

 

[seagurl]

I don't really have much to say about this issue, other than that I hate it when guys expect sex. Like, when Ive been asleep for a couple of hours, and boy comes to bed at 4 am and wakes me up to fuck. Not sexy. Or, when we're getting ready to go out somewhere and just about to leave when he suddenly decides "it's time" even though we did it 30 min prior, expecting me to drop/postpone whatever I'm trying to get out and do. I put up with it with the first bf I had in college but I won't be in the future. I think part of my lack of sex drive had to do with depression/stress and the medication I had been put on for it, and the boy's lack of understanding that there were times where I had absolutely no desire to have sex (especially since he liked long, rough sessions) was disappointing.
If anything, try to turn the girl on and make her want it, like others have said. Just complaining and whining about not getting enough is unattractive and won't get you anywhere in the long run. It's no fun if it's a chore! I can vouch for the fact that kinkiness and sex toys especially are great great great I would suggest talking to your girl and trying to reach a compromise, in addition to trying to better understand her perspective on this issue. Good luck!

 

[lola]

I don't really have much to say about this issue, other than that I hate it when guys expect sex. Like, when Ive been asleep for a couple of hours, and boy comes to bed at 4 am and wakes me up to fuck. Not sexy. Or, when we're getting ready to go out somewhere and just about to leave when he suddenly decides "it's time" even though we did it 30 min prior, expecting me to drop/postpone whatever I'm trying to get out and do.

^ You see, every woman is different - I find it a major turn on, nothing like turning up late with a red glow because you've just got a good seeing to... I love it if a guy just bends me over the kitchen table when I'm cooking, or wakes me up in the middle of the night, and I do the same to my man. I get off feeling desired in that way and I like being sexually available and expect the same. If the guy I'm with started pulling out the headache/tired thing I'd also be upset. We've pretty much sexually available to each most of the times, we also do a lot of BDSM stuff so depends on who is dominating. Either way, I think the OP is mixing up the monogamy issue - a way of life which he might be unsuitable for - and issues around sex drive and compatibility. Still, I agree he can't just expect his gf to please him whenever he clicks his finger unless that's the sexual style they have. But pretty uncommon ime, and far from enjoyable if she feels it's a chore.

 

[rant*N*rave]

It's good to hear all the different replies to get a diverse set of opinions, but in my opinion if I have committed to be exclusive to another which means in society's standards I should not cheat and I want sex then I should get it. I think it's unreasonable to expect your man to not cheat if you won't put out because you are tired / have a headache...

So in other words, it doesn't matter what we say, because you won't change your mind, lol. Let me put it this way - most women, when they have committed to be exclusive to another, expect that you will respect them and what they want too. To put it less politely, you could replace "sex" with "bitch make me a sammich" or "punch her in the face" and use the same logic with the same results. Just because you think you should be able to expect anything doesn't mean you actually should or that anyone will (or won't) agree with you. I mean, ffs man, look how you're phrasing it: "she won't put out". I'll give you an lol and a on that one.

This isn't about mutually fulfilling each other's needs in a relationship, this is about you getting what you demand. I could just as reasonably say that if I have committed to a guy, he should buy me flowers and give me backrubs every day so I won't stop "putting out" and that it's unreasonable for a guy to expect sex every day if I don't get presents every day; that it's unreasonable for you to expect a girl not to cheat if you're not giving her enough jewelry. Which I think you probably agree is a pretty stupid sentiment.

I don't think women would ever understand this type of outlook because they have different brains to guys but to me, sex is like eating. If I'm hungry and I don't eat now, I just can't let it go and eat later. It's an ongoing need that is at the forefront of my mind until it gets satisfied.

We're right back to square one here. This has NOTHING to do with women vs. men and everything to do with the fact that different people have different sex drives. I'm a woman and I understand your outlook just fine - I've been in your exact same position. Food's not any better of an example either; my boyfriend eats non-fucking-stop, but I do just let it go and eat later, all the time, because I don't eat much in general. I'll cook dinner and he'll eat 95% of the food (and I do it happily because we have a healthy relationship!). You're just trying to rationalize away the really shitty situation you're in. It doesn't matter how much you like this girl or how much she likes you - this relationship CAN'T work if that's how you view things, much less if that's how strong your needs are. She CAN'T meet them, and you will never be happy. That's not how healthy relationships are meant to be... If you NEED sex, then you NEED to find a new girlfriend. Simple answer, but not easy to make it happen, I know...

 

[TekRa]

It's good to hear all the different replies to get a diverse set of opinions, but in my opinion if I have committed to be exclusive to another which means in society's standards I should not cheat and I want sex then I should get it. I think it's unreasonable to expect your man to not cheat if you won't put out because you are tired / have a headache...

To me it seems you need to really ask yourself, why exactly are you even in an exclusive relationship?

We are not in the 1950's anymore where the woman is at the man's beck and call any time of the day. Society's standards of being in a relationship does NOT mean that just because you want sex you should get it - hence why there are now laws against rape in marriage. No woman, or man for that matter, should have this type of pressure put on them, especially in the one relationship they should expect to feel the most secure.

Not only that, if you feel it is fine to cheat just because you aren't getting your needs fulfilled every time you want it, then I also wonder about your feelings towards your girlfriend as a person and relationship overall. You say being in a relationship means you "should not" cheat, but shouldn't it really be more the feeling that you "don't want" to cheat?

 

[beamers]

Wait, so hoping/wanting to have sex every 2-3 days with a partner is considered to be
excessive? Even when a relationship is in the more functional phase? Sure, if you're at the grinding away/ can't stand the sight of her phase, a lack of a sex life is what you want.

You say being in a relationship means you "should not" cheat, but shouldn't it really be more the feeling that you "don't want" to cheat?

Everybody thinks about cheating at some point, we're all human. You are setting up an unrealistic ideal. If I look back at all of the times I didn't cheat on a partner, well, I'm kicking myself now. I can remember once at work, having a text reply written on my phone to a girl that was asking for it and I cleared the message.

No woman, or man for that matter, should have this type of pressure put on them, especially in the one relationship they should expect to feel the most secure.

Are you a guy or a girl? If you stop fucking a girl in a relationship, the resulting behaviour from her would not be considered: "socially acceptable" if a man were doing it.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

It's good to hear all the different replies to get a diverse set of opinions, but in my opinion if I have committed to be exclusive to another which means in society's standards I should not cheat and I want sex then I should get it. I think it's unreasonable to expect your man to not cheat if you won't put out because you are tired / have a headache...

You talk about her so coldly... as if it's some sort of business deal. Is she your girlfriend; another living and feeling human being who you care about? Or is she a cum dumpster? I don't get your mentality at all. If you need to get off that much that it is on your mind constantly, then jerk off? Or be single and go out to bars and find all the tail you want. I just don't get why you are in a relationship.

If you stop fucking a girl in a relationship, the resulting behaviour from her would not be considered: "socially acceptable" if a man were doing it.

If she had "stopped fucking him" I think a lot of us would be responding differently here. If she had stopped fucking him all together I would have suggested the idea that she was no longer into the relationship and perhaps he should move on. It is not a men/women issue. I would say that to a man who's girl had stopped fucking him or to a girl who's man was no longer showing her any attention.

But she hasn't stopped fucking him. She just (like most people) is not capable of being up to sex every day of her life. That is the unrealistic ideal.

 

[ch00n]

Over time, it is normal for the sex to start becoming more infrequent. I think it's because 1) it's new and exciting in the beginning of a relationship and 2) girls try harder to please the guy in the beginning as well. Once it's been 1+ years, the girl knows she has you, so she doesn't have to put out as much.

OP, if you've been in a relationship for a long time, you have to subtly indicate to your GF that other girls wanna bang you. LOL, it sounds boorish, but your gf might try harder to please you if she feels that you are in demand by other women. Why? Women are naturally competitive with other women, especially about their men, so if she feels a little jealous, that might give her the urge to make sure you don't go anywhere =)

It sounds despicable and machiavellian to do this, but it's not at all. Women are naturally attracted to guys who seem to be desired by other women. All you are doing is kicking up her attraction for you.

show your gf that although you are faithful to her, you can get almost any woman you want. with facebook, this is easier than ever. just make friends with good looking women, talk to them and hang out with them often. don't cheat on her obviously, but just show her that you have a lot of female friends who are waiting for you to be single.

there are other ways to renew her attraction for you, if you don't have any friends that are women. improve your appearance (hit the gym, get new clothing, get a tan, get a haircut), excel at your career, try new hobbies, be passionate about something.

the more attracted she is to you, the more sex she'll want.

if you caught the drift of my advice in this thread, OP, you'll see that most of the advice is geared towards yourself, not to her. Of course, some of it is her fault (if she has a low sex drive), some of it is your fault (if you became complacent and stopped acting like the dude she first met and fell in love with), and some of it can't be helped (like a relationship naturally slowing down in the sex department). you have to focus on what you can change, not what you can't. so DO try and find solutions, but do NOT pressure her for more sex (it's counterproductive and will make her want it less).

if nothing works, dump her.

 

[TekRa]

Wait, so hoping/wanting to have sex every 2-3 days with a partner is considered to be
excessive? Even when a relationship is in the more functional phase? Sure, if you're at the grinding away/ can't stand the sight of her phase, a lack of a sex life is what you want.



Everybody thinks about cheating at some point, we're all human. You are setting up an unrealistic ideal. If I look back at all of the times I didn't cheat on a partner, well, I'm kicking myself now. I can remember once at work, having a text reply written on my phone to a girl that was asking for it and I cleared the message.



Are you a guy or a girl? If you stop fucking a girl in a relationship, the resulting behaviour from her would not be considered: "socially acceptable" if a man were doing it.

To answer your question, I am a girl.

I really don't feel that it is an unrealistic ideal to not want to cheat. Personally I can honestly say I have never thought of cheating, and I've been in my current relationship for 6 years. Of course I can only go by my own feelings and experiences but to me it's not really that hard.

I would think regardless of if it is the man or women, if one partner "stops fucking" then it's an issue that needs to be discussed between the couple to try and sort it out between them both. However, stopping fucking is an entirely different issue to what is at hand, which is about expecting sex every day.

 

[IzGood]

Over time, it is normal for the sex to start becoming more infrequent. I think it's because 1) it's new and exciting in the beginning of a relationship and 2) girls try harder to please the guy in the beginning as well. Once it's been 1+ years, the girl knows she has you, so she doesn't have to put out as much.

OP, if you've been in a relationship for a long time, you have to subtly indicate to your GF that other girls wanna bang you. LOL, it sounds boorish, but your gf might try harder to please you if she feels that you are in demand by other women. Why? Women are naturally competitive with other women, especially about their men, so if she feels a little jealous, that might give her the urge to make sure you don't go anywhere =)

It sounds despicable and machiavellian to do this, but it's not at all. Women are naturally attracted to guys who seem to be desired by other women. All you are doing is kicking up her attraction for you.

show your gf that although you are faithful to her, you can get almost any woman you want. with facebook, this is easier than ever. just make friends with good looking women, talk to them and hang out with them often. don't cheat on her obviously, but just show her that you have a lot of female friends who are waiting for you to be single.

there are other ways to renew her attraction for you, if you don't have any friends that are women. improve your appearance (hit the gym, get new clothing, get a tan, get a haircut), excel at your career, try new hobbies, be passionate about something.

the more attracted she is to you, the more sex she'll want.

if you caught the drift of my advice in this thread, OP, you'll see that most of the advice is geared towards yourself, not to her. Of course, some of it is her fault (if she has a low sex drive), some of it is your fault (if you became complacent and stopped acting like the dude she first met and fell in love with), and some of it can't be helped (like a relationship naturally slowing down in the sex department). you have to focus on what you can change, not what you can't. so DO try and find solutions, but do NOT pressure her for more sex (it's counterproductive and will make her want it less).

if nothing works, dump her.

I think you are spot on with all this

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

OP, if you've been in a relationship for a long time, you have to subtly indicate to your GF that other girls wanna bang you. LOL, it sounds boorish, but your gf might try harder to please you if she feels that you are in demand by other women. Why? Women are naturally competitive with other women, especially about their men, so if she feels a little jealous, that might give her the urge to make sure you don't go anywhere =)

If one is feeling forced to use these sort of tactics vs actual communication I'd say the whole relationship is dying a slow death anyway and it might be better to just put it out of its misery... real love doesn't require these sort of games. Then again real love doesn't require constant banging either. It's nice when times are hot and all, but a strong couple has enough of an emotional connection to withstand a dry spell from time to time for various reasons.

Its really all about communication. When communication stops everything else falls apart.

 

[Matsuo Munefusa.]

If one is feeling forced to use these sort of tactics vs actual communication I'd say the whole relationship is dying a slow death anyway and it might be better to just put it out of its misery... real love doesn't require these sort of games. Then again real love doesn't require constant banging either. It's nice when times are hot and all, but a strong couple has enough of an emotional connection to withstand a dry spell from time to time for various reasons.

Its really all about communication. When communication stops everything else falls apart.

I agree, little friend.

ch00n and Izgood and Co.: How do you expect to have mindblowing orgasmic transcendent sex with your goddess if she is fucking you because she is scared to lose you to another woman? That fear should not be in the relationship, it is a poison to your bond. I suspect the problem with both of you is that you are not treating your woman like a goddess and worshiping her in bed (and out), admiring her beauty, complimenting her (from your heart not for any ulterior motive), doing special things for her (like cooking an amazing dinner when she is tired/has a headache instead of demanding sex), taking care of her (asking her how she is feeling, if she is tired/has a headache asking her if you can get her anything), giving her lots of special touches and caresses that she longs for (which may or may not necessarily lead to intercourse), putting her orgasm ahead of your orgasm.

Or you can just continue on not doing that (not assuming too harshly here), continuing to shuffle around mildly inside of her vagina whenever she lets you

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

How do you expect to have mindblowing orgasmic transcendent sex with your goddess if she is fucking you because she is scared to lose you to another woman? That fear should not be in the relationship, it is a poison to your bond. I suspect the problem with both of you is that you are not treating your woman like a goddess and worshiping her in bed (and out), admiring her beauty, complimenting her (from your heart not for any ulterior motive), doing special things for her (like cooking an amazing dinner when she is tired/has a headache instead of demanding sex), taking care of her (asking her how she is feeling, if she is tired/has a headache asking her if you can get her anything), giving her lots of special touches and caresses that she longs for (which may or may not necessarily lead to intercourse), putting her orgasm ahead of your orgasm.

Yep, thats why I fucking love you.

 

[ch00n]

whoa whoa, i didn't say that she should feel like she is in danger of losing her position as your gf. of course in any successful relationship, the girl has to be completely secure that the man isn't going anywhere.

however, if you SUBTLY indicate through your communications with other women that you are a desirable male, this will automatically make her more attracted to you. she shouldn't be afraid she is going to be replaced, but she should know that if she were to break up with you, you'd get with a hotter girl without losing a step.

this is ONE way to make your gf more attracted in you again. ALONG with going to the gym (improving your appearance), and pretty much kicking ass in all aspects of life. women love men like that.

ALL i'm suggesting is that he start acting like the man she fell in love with. the good looking, fit, motivated, ambitious ladies man that made her attracted to him in the first place lol.

 

[Monkeybizness]

I haven't had sex for a while due to the fact that I have been sick as fuck to the point of not being able to breathe . And reading these comments from these guys that EXPECT sex everyday and that women are robots who are emotionless f***k you lol. How about a blowjob with a nasty cold! How can you be so inconsiderate! we are in 2011 and us women can choose when and who we want to have sex with .


Oh and ch00n did you forget that us women have a longer line of men ready to service us . Its easier for girls to get guys. Did you forget that?

 

[ch00n]

I haven't had sex for a while due to the fact that I have been sick as fuck to the point of not being able to breathe . And reading these comments from these guys that EXPECT sex everyday and that women are robots who are emotionless f***k you lol. How about a blowjob with a nasty cold! How can you be so inconsiderate! we are in 2011 and us women can choose when and who we want to have sex with .


Oh and ch00n did you forget that us women have a longer line of men ready to service us . Its easier for girls to get guys. Did you forget that?

First of all, it's not a contest.

Second of all, yes I do know this. I'm giving advice to the OP, who is a man, not a woman. Like it or not, women are naturally attracted to guys who can get other girls (this is one out of many things, but it is very important)

Men are attracted to girls with nice bodies, period.

If you knew your guy was highly sought after by other women, but YOU had him, you would try your hardest to keep / please your man.

If you KNEW you are the best your bf could ever do, and he can't get with girls in general, you wouldn't be as attracted to him.

It seems shallow, but it's absolutely true. That's how a woman's brain works.


And yes, women have the freedom to choose when and where to have sex. BUT, just know, if you don't please your man, he is liable to cheat and/or dump you if you don't fulfill his sexual desires. Men (and women) have the freedom to walk away from a relationship that isn't up to their expectations.

 

[jonnynapalm]

once a day can be a bit much unless u have a pretty high sex-drive

but basically if your game is good & she doesnt want it at least every other day, then, well maybe your game aint that good

to break it down even simpler, you have to turn her on first. i can turn my girl on light a light switch & as a result, i pretty much get it when i want

being able to read your girl emotionally is a big factor too...you gotta know all her moods & when to pounce...otherwise your gonna get swiped

 

[Monkeybizness]

First of all, it's not a contest.

Second of all, yes I do know this. I'm giving advice to the OP, who is a man, not a woman. Like it or not, women are naturally attracted to guys who can get other girls (this is one out of many things, but it is very important)

Men are attracted to girls with nice bodies, period.

If you knew your guy was highly sought after by other women, but YOU had him, you would try your hardest to keep / please your man.

If you KNEW you are the best your bf could ever do, and he can't get with girls in general, you wouldn't be as attracted to him.

It seems shallow, but it's absolutely true. That's how a woman's brain works.


And yes, women have the freedom to choose when and where to have sex. BUT, just know, if you don't please your man, he is liable to cheat and/or dump you if you don't fulfill his sexual desires. Men (and women) have the freedom to walk away from a relationship that isn't up to their expectations.

WRONG ! Not all girls are like that . A lot of girls perfer nice calm guys that pick there girls right not a stud that has a line of chick waiting for them. A Guy that's mysterious and quiet is way hotter then a show boat that thinks he can have many girls . Sex is an art you take your time and you do it right and everyone has different turn on's , also not all guys like girls with perfect bodies. I have actually met guys that only get turned on buy BIGGER sized women and don't like skinny girls.

Your advise is weak.
The op needs to focus on becoming a better lover , Not a desperate sex fiend . He needs to learn how to seduce his girlfriend not turn his back on her. He easily gives up!

 

[ch00n]

WRONG ! Not all girls are like that . A lot of girls perfer nice calm guys that pick there girls right not a stud that has a line of chick waiting for them. A Guy that's mysterious and quiet is way hotter then a show boat that thinks he can have many girls . Sex is an art you take your time and you do it right and everyone has different turn on's , also not all guys like girls with perfect bodies. I have actually met guys that only get turned on buy BIGGER sized women and don't like skinny girls.

Your advise is weak.
The op needs to focus on becoming a better lover , Not a desperate sex fiend . He needs to learn how to seduce his girlfriend not turn his back on her. He easily gives up!

If you read any of my posts, I said FIRST that he should work on improving their sex life and become a better lover. Then I said SECOND that he should maybe try to work on becoming more attractive to her. How? By acting like the confident single man she fell in love with. There is nothing wrong with that.

Also, I'm not talking about being a showboat. Look up the word SUBTLE in the dictionary. So I'm not advocating bragging about all the girls he could get with, but instead SUBTLY indicating that he can.

You are right though, not all women are into the alpha male, suave, ladies man type. But most of them are, sorry to say. It's true.

Also, I did not mean men are only into skinny girls. Men are into nice bodies. For some men, that means DD boobs and a thin waistline. For others, nice means weighing 300 pounds and having a beard. But what primarily drives attraction for men is the visual aspect.


Honestly, it seems you are just disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing. Nothing I suggested was that out of line; in fact it is better for both of them.