I want sex everyday from girlfriend, too much to ask?

[rant*N*rave]

This and this:

no kidding. generally, women aren't like men in that it's super easy to switch into horny mode. sex can actually be uncomfortable and even down right painful if a woman isn't aroused.

relationships work when you compromise; if you're going to be a baby and throw a fit when your girl has other things on her mind than spreading her legs for your daily pleasure, maybe you need to be in a relationship where your partner panders to your sexual greediness.

if your sex drives are really mis-matched (once a day vs. once a week), then it's probably best to cut your losses. there can be all the compatibility in the world, if one of you is constantly sexually frustrated and the other feeling pressured, you're not going to have a happy relationship.

if it's just the odd instance where you're in the mood but she's not, maybe see if she's ok w/ a handjob or you masturbating with here there (maybe kissing your neck/talking dirty). otherwise, porn and weed are my best recommendations.

i don't think a girlfriend is responsible for all her boyfriend's sexual needs, but i've acted interested in enough boring dinner parties, family problems and emotional meltdowns to feel like it's not unfair to ask her to act interested in a handjob every once in a while.

It's one thing to once in a while pull out that card and ask your s/o to do something for you, whether it be a sexual favor or not, because you know, you like each other and stuff, and that's how reciprocation works and all... But it's another to demand something every day that's not only annoying to the other person but physically uncomfortable. For women, it's a completely different story if you're not into it. Too much sex when you're not turned on can actually cause psychosexual disorders.

I'm typically extremely sexual, and I have sex at least once or twice every time I see my boyfriend (a few times a week at the moment, and we usually spend most of the weekend together), BUT I'm also on a bunch of medications that can whack me out at times, and I recently got an IUD taken out (I was one of those freak medical occurrences and got ridiculously sick on it), so there are days when I just feel like rolling over and passing out. If my guy didn't respect that, I'd put his ass to the curb SO quickly... But he does, cuz he's awesome

 

[GenericMind]

sounds like you made it up8)

Yeah, I've already come to accept that anything I post in here that you could potentially be jealous of you're going to think I made up. It reinforces my belief that your relationship is as boring as I suspect it is. I can live with that.

 

[rant*N*rave]

What... you are saying that the women got pissed because you didn't want to have sex? That is still telling me the same thing... People loooooove to perpetuate gender stereotypes (both men and women). Just like you said, you felt insecure as a result. Clearly you don't fit in the stereotype as you feel the need to not have sex at some times.

That's not a gender stereotype, it's a fact of life. Most men can get erections and come to climax when they are not psychologically sexually stimulated. Most women cannot get physically prepared for sex without being psychologically stimulated, let alone come to climax. And as mentioned in my previous post, sex without physical preparedness can cause both physical and psychological damage in women. So yeah, headache? Valid excuse for a woman, not so much for a man - it's not going to cause actual damage to the man for him to have sex in most cases. That doesn't mean that if a man says he doesn't want to have sex because he doesn't feel well on any given day that it should have any less weight than if a woman says it, but when it comes to those extremes where it's all the time and/or you're thinking about couples therapy, it can mean very different things. If a woman is dying to have sex with her partner and the guy is just like "meh, I don't feel good" it's a completely different set of ramifications from the other way around. There is only so much that's reasonable to give up for another person. Giving up your physical and psychological safety is a hell of a lot more than giving up 5 or 10 minutes of your time and being uninterested.

 

[ch00n]

I've experienced this type of sexual frustration too... it's clear that my gf doesn't have as high of a sex drive as me. I am always down to do it 1-2 times per day, whereas she is more like once every two to three days.

It has definitely given me the urge to cheat and/or dump her at times.

I don't know what the answer is, but don't listen to these people calling you out. Of course you don't expect it literally every single day, even when she is sick or really tired; the problem is, she probably uses those excuses quite often to get you to back off.

There is nothing wrong with having a high/higher sex drive. You need a girl that is compatible with you sexually, but you probably don't want to dump her because you like her for other reasons.

You gotta make a choice, you shouldn't half ass it by cheating on her. Either accept her with her low drive or leave her.

 

[rant*N*rave]

^+1!

 

[bec.x]

Is she on hormonal BC?

These things kill your sex life more often than it is ever discussed, especially by the doctors who keep prescribing them.

 

[IzGood]

I've experienced this type of sexual frustration too... it's clear that my gf doesn't have as high of a sex drive as me. I am always down to do it 1-2 times per day, whereas she is more like once every two to three days.

It has definitely given me the urge to cheat and/or dump her at times.

I don't know what the answer is, but don't listen to these people calling you out. Of course you don't expect it literally every single day, even when she is sick or really tired; the problem is, she probably uses those excuses quite often to get you to back off.

There is nothing wrong with having a high/higher sex drive. You need a girl that is compatible with you sexually, but you probably don't want to dump her because you like her for other reasons.

You gotta make a choice, you shouldn't half ass it by cheating on her. Either accept her with her low drive or leave her.

You understand! My gf usually wants it once every 2-3 days, and I don't want to dump her purely because she doesn't want sex everyday because I love her but it's a constant thing that often comes up and yeah the urges or validating reasons start to occur in my head to cheat / dump or whatever but yeah I don't know the answer either. I can't push her for sex if she doesn't want it, I don't want to get rid of her all together and I don't want to just make myself contend with sex whenever she wants it.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

Dude, every 2-3 days is not exactly a long time to go between sex. Maybe if you two are on a romantic Jamaican vacation and doing nothing but lounging on a beautiful beach every day, sure.... but every 2-3 days in normal, everyday life, with work and chores and other stuff to deal with? That is a fairly active sex life.

Not saying you don't have the right to demand whatever you want out of life and a partner, and dump her and seek someone with a higher sex drive if you want. You do. Just saying, you might be seeking something that would be pretty hard to find. At least, it might be hard to find in someone who is compatible with you in every other way. If you really love her and don't want to dump her I say just accept it.

 

[lola]

OP, as a woman who was in the same situation but the other way around - I have a high sex drive and want it every day, whereas my boyfriend had a much lower sex drive - I'm really sorry to say this, and I'm sure you love your gf with all your heart, but you have to accept that this might not work. I tried, hell I even posted on b/l a few years ago and was told to get out and didn't listen. Well I wish I did, it ended for that reason eventually and caused a lot of hurt and feelings of rejection. Just remember - if she's not that well up for it now, what will it be like when the years pass and the novelty wears off even more, when you get to the point where you're too jaded to keep trying, when children and ill relatives and general life stresses come along? I'll tell you - far, far less sex than you're getting now. If you truly love her it might be worth letting her find happiness with someone who doesn't feel constantly dissatisfied/disappointed with her sexuality and leave yourself available to find someone who would meet your needs in bed.

The way I see it now, my friends can meet a lot of my emotional needs and I can have a chat with colleagues about work stuff; but sexual intimacy and a fun, exciting and fulfilling sex life is something I can only consistently get from a partner, and therefore it's now my number 1 priority when starting a long term relationship. There's nothing worse than feeling that your sexuality or sex drive/ preferences are somehow distasteful to your SO. It slowly erodes your confidence and kills the joy of it all... so I would seriously think about walking, or at least talk to her seriously about opening the relationship... I feel your pain though, and wouldn't ever want to be in the same position again

 

[Cloudy]

That's not a gender stereotype, it's a fact of life. Most men can get erections and come to climax when they are not psychologically sexually stimulated. Most women cannot get physically prepared for sex without being psychologically stimulated, let alone come to climax. And as mentioned in my previous post, sex without physical preparedness can cause both physical and psychological damage in women. So yeah, headache? Valid excuse for a woman, not so much for a man - it's not going to cause actual damage to the man for him to have sex in most cases. That doesn't mean that if a man says he doesn't want to have sex because he doesn't feel well on any given day that it should have any less weight than if a woman says it, but when it comes to those extremes where it's all the time and/or you're thinking about couples therapy, it can mean very different things. If a woman is dying to have sex with her partner and the guy is just like "meh, I don't feel good" it's a completely different set of ramifications from the other way around. There is only so much that's reasonable to give up for another person. Giving up your physical and psychological safety is a hell of a lot more than giving up 5 or 10 minutes of your time and being uninterested.

Face palm....

ANYTHING dealing with what someone feels someone of another race, creed, sex, gender, or whatever the fuck, and the expectations they expect out of them is perpetuating or creating a stereotype! it is irrelevant if a man can get it up almost any time of the day. I can get it up when I have a migraine but does mean I want to have sex, hell no. I mean I pop a boner when I'm sitting my bed feeling nice and comfortable, it doesn't men I'm trying to bone my blanket, or need to masturbate. A boner is physiological response to a variety of conditions, related or not related to sexual stimuli.

It doesn't matter if you are male or female, if you don't want to have sex, you are complete valid. No if and or butts.

Also Screw you for assuming men don't need to the psychological aspect to sex, or need that to be a prerequisite for sex. Ever hear of a guy not being able to reach climax for a variety of psychological reasons?

To much bullshit stereotypes in this thread.

humans are not the same, and gender/roles varies among people of the same sex.

 

[ch00n]

Dude, every 2-3 days is not exactly a long time to go between sex. Maybe if you two are on a romantic Jamaican vacation and doing nothing but lounging on a beautiful beach every day, sure.... but every 2-3 days in normal, everyday life, with work and chores and other stuff to deal with? That is a fairly active sex life.

Not saying you don't have the right to demand whatever you want out of life and a partner, and dump her and seek someone with a higher sex drive if you want. You do. Just saying, you might be seeking something that would be pretty hard to find. At least, it might be hard to find in someone who is compatible with you in every other way. If you really love her and don't want to dump her I say just accept it.

But that is what he means, once every 2-3 days in an ideal setting, like a Jamaican vacation. If you factor in real life, with work and chores and whatever, it becomes much less.

Most likely, after a long period of time of not seeing him, she probably is not even thinking about sex, whereas he is focused on it.

Someone with a lower sex drive just puts a lot less effort into the sexual side of the relationship overall. Why? Because it gives them less gratification, and who knows.

Trying to reason his way through it is not going to work, he is going to be continually frustrated.

OP, I would suggest making the effort to make your sex life better. Do spontaneous sex, maybe use some toys, bring in a little kinkiness, role play, whatever. Read The Sex God Method (find it online somewhere), try to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for her, the rationale being, if she enjoys it more, she might want it more.

If she STILL is frustrating you and the situation doesn't improve, you have to make a decision.

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

OP, I would suggest making the effort to make your sex life better. Do spontaneous sex, maybe use some toys, bring in a little kinkiness, role play, whatever. Read The Sex God Method (find it online somewhere), try to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for her, the rationale being, if she enjoys it more, she might want it more.

If she STILL is frustrating you and the situation doesn't improve, you have to make a decision.

Mmm yes. Good advice. Kinkiness is good. Focus on what turns her on and hopefully youll have better luck.

 

[Pillthrill]

LOL. Are you kidding me? So what, she should be forced to lay there and let you screw her when she is completely not into it? Yeah... that's a hot scenario.

What do you expect? How could anyone possibly be up for sex every single day of their life? People get tired, they feel sick, they have other things on their mind... so yes, you are expecting too much that no one in reality would be able to live up to.



Yeah, I wouldn't want to give my body to someone so lacking compassion for MY wants and needs either.

2nd!

 

[SuperPump250]

Just grab her, rub her pussy without removing her pants. Works for me every time.

 

[GABAlover]

I am a 31 year old male. 5 or 6 years ago I would have sympathised with you. Now I see the female side. Expecting it every day is a bad thing, mostly because you ARE EXPECTING it. Dude, if you really love her, have a bat every now and then. Try to be patient. I fucked off a few really nice girls with that attitude.

 

[Monkeybizness]

I fuck to hard to do it everyday. I LIKE my sex sessions long and real rough, I put my boyfriends ass to work every time. and trust me hes happy with breaks in between, I hate that two second quick nut sex just to have sex.

Op its about how satisfied you are after a session. Sex every day is impossible and it wont last to long,at the beginning of the relationship yeah, but after 3 4 year's youll slow down.
There are some days were I don't even wanna be touched and my boyfriend respect that it's not a big deal.

Maybe longer more intense sex sessions More satisfying for both of you Guys, better yourself as a lover . And don't be scared of masturbation it is very healthy .
You sound like a baby who needs his milk.....

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

Sounds like, as a fair few people in here have said, you guys aren't as compatible as you'd like to think.

My ex's have always had as big a sex drive as me - unless we were ill, there was never a time that sex was off the cards really, unless neither of us were in the mood.

You can actually feel how it becomes routine to fuck, no matter how good it is, which is not good - spontaneity is your friend, and you shouldn't expect sex, as you will find yourself with less!

There are other people out there, stay friends with this one

Peace

 

[rant*N*rave]

Face palm....

ANYTHING dealing with what someone feels someone of another race, creed, sex, gender, or whatever the fuck, and the expectations they expect out of them is perpetuating or creating a stereotype! it is irrelevant if a man can get it up almost any time of the day. I can get it up when I have a migraine but does mean I want to have sex, hell no. I mean I pop a boner when I'm sitting my bed feeling nice and comfortable, it doesn't men I'm trying to bone my blanket, or need to masturbate. A boner is physiological response to a variety of conditions, related or not related to sexual stimuli.

It doesn't matter if you are male or female, if you don't want to have sex, you are complete valid. No if and or butts.

*face palm* From my original post:

"That doesn't mean that if a man says he doesn't want to have sex because he doesn't feel well on any given day that it should have any less weight than if a woman says it"

Also Screw you for assuming men don't need to the psychological aspect to sex, or need that to be a prerequisite for sex. Ever hear of a guy not being able to reach climax for a variety of psychological reasons?

I never said that. What I said was:

"when it comes to those extremes where it's all the time and/or you're thinking about couples therapy, it can mean very different things. If a woman is dying to have sex with her partner and the guy is just like "meh, I don't feel good" it's a completely different set of ramifications from the other way around. There is only so much that's reasonable to give up for another person."

If a man "had" to have some unwanted sex to save a marriage, it probably wouldn't negatively affect him in many, if not most, cases if he really was doing it to save the marriage. It would be no different than if he conceded to do the dishes more often. Annoying yes, dangerous no. However, if a woman "had" to have some unwanted sex, it could seriously damage her in many cases. I never said always for all people all the time; just in general.

To much bullshit stereotypes in this thread.

humans are not the same, and gender/roles varies among people of the same sex.

At some point you HAVE to generalize, or no one could ever give any advice.

 

[64tf]

I just read your first post. I'm onboard with your mindset, but it doesn't seem to be the way things work out. Keep trying brother, and don't get married.

 

[GoldenLovely]

OP, do you care about this girl's needs and feelings at all or is it all about what you want? Its not wrong to desire sex every day , twice a day or whenever. Your sex drive is what it is and there's nothing wrong with that, but it is definitely wrong to expect it and demand it.
I dont think the issue about the two of you having different sex drives at all. If it was, you could talk it out and reach some kind of a compromise. I think the issue is that you feel that your wants should be catered to regardless of how she feels.
If you don't start to get a sense of empathy and understanding then NO relationship is going to work for you, because even if you find a woman with a similar sex drive, there are still going to be things you like that she doesnt and its obvious by your own statements that you believe that only you should be able to decide what is reasonable for your partner to do and not do.
As far as this relationship, if things continue this way, then it is doomed because you really dont want to make it work. If you did, you'd be trying to find ways to make you both happy, but all you're doing is trying to find ways to satisfy your desires and ONLY your desires. From your posts, it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to cheat and are waiting for someone to give you the green light"

You say you resent her for refusing sex whenever you demand it, well I have news for you, I guarantee she is already resenting you for demanding sex whenever she doesnt want it. This is going to make her want it less and less. You seem to think all a woman has to do to be ready for sex is show up with legs akimbo or maybe face down, ass up is more your style. Either way, as has already been explained to you , a woman has to be in the mood for sex otherwise its going to be unenjoyable at best and at worst painful and even traumatic. Your posts tell me that you don't really have the sensitivity and caring to satisfy her even when she IS in the mood. The ironic thing is, if you weren't so self centered, then she probably would be more inclined to try to get herself in the mood on the days when she starts out not wanting it. Don't get me wrong, I am no man hater. I love men I just don't like selfish men. But just as I think you should care about her needs, I do believe a loving woman should care about a man's desires too , but only if he's shown that he cares about her wants, needs and desires. Relationships are a two way street But your behavior is just driving her away and as I said, if the relationship continues down this path, it is doomed to failure.