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You might be an alcoholic if..

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Ds

Ds

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You might be an alcoholic if you wake up, don't know where you are, and have to ask the neighbors where you are.

You might be an Alcoholic if you drink cake extracts,(Mint,Vanilla,Orange,Almond, Butter, Lemon, Peach, Banana, Coconut, Pineapple, Raspberry, Strawberry, and Walnut.) To get drunk.

You might be an alcoholic if when you get pulled over,and you ask the cop to hold your beer while you get your car insurance, and registration.

You might be an alcoholic if you lost your truck. (happens a lot :()

I'm sure you have some alcoholic stories! :)
 
You might be an alcoholic if you try to convince a cop HE is the drunk one.

You might be an alcoholic if you threaten the Jack in the Box drive-thru assistant about the speediness of your food.
 
epiks said:
You might be an alcoholic if you try to convince a cop HE is the drunk one.

You might be an alcoholic if you threaten the Jack in the Box drive-thru assistant about the speediness of your food.
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OMG that fucking shit happens all the time! I did that once at the drive-thru speaker box, and I'm sure they spit on my food, so when I got to the window they were all pissed at me so I just drove away. hahaha

You might be an alcoholic if you drink so much beer with your friends and see who's vomit spray can go the furthest. (Not smart to do because of all the alcohol poison problems.) :)
 
HAH! Same thing man! I just drove off too...So many times.

You might be an alcoholic if you grab a water bottle out of the fridge and realize its straight vodka after taking a big drink. Then realize not just one, but every bottle has been replaced. (Used for on-the-go) - Or what used to be the soda shelf is now replaced by all beer and acts as your 'backup' shelf.
 
A thread of pure levity about alcoholism doesn't work in TDS, because our first purpose is as a refuge for people who are hurting. Its like going to an oncology clinic and everybody is in clown suits telling cancer jokes. I'm closing for now but I have my feelers out for a new home for this thread.
 
You might be an alco if you spend a whole pay check then and fall asleep on a mates floor for 15 hours while life goes on in party mode around you

might be an alco if go to a party with one bottle off gin and wake up in a mate's who wasn't at the party's garden only 2 hours later with a bike on top off you and three different bottles off whisky still completly full. and can't remeber a flippin thing.

might be an alco if you drink a cask off the cheapest wine, thow it up, then drive to buy another one at 3:30 in morning not even thinking that all botte shops are shut.

if after 12 beers and bottle off wine on a weeknite you think you require,200mg codiene, 2x5mg valium, 3x12.5MR stillnox and 1x30mg oxzazepam to get to sleep before waking up at 6am to go to work. bad idea.

pass out half in half out of own front door on weeknite till lunchtime next day when girlfriend finds you, alarms going since morning, half naked then has to drive you 5 hours late to work cause you can't find your keys.

i could keep going here but im gonna have to stop to go down the pub!
 
_kp said:
alcohol helps you study
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^ lol..its help'd me

and to the OP..did you really drink extracts? ;p

you might be a alcoholic when your puking your brains out, one hand on the toliet, one hand holding up your cup/glass of booze
 
. . . if drinking is the only thing that makes you feel better about your drinking problem.
 
D's said:
You might be an Alcoholic if you drink cake extracts,(Mint,Vanilla,Orange,Almond, Butter, Lemon, Peach, Banana, Coconut, Pineapple, Raspberry, Strawberry, and Walnut.) To get drunk.
Click to expand...

Me and a bunch of friends did that once when were were like 14, went to Stop & Shop and bought shitloads of extracts. I think almost everyone puked that night.
 
If you wake up post heavy keggar realizing that no one finished what you and your best friend have now deemed 'our precious morning juice.' You drain the keg and go to champagne brunch but don't order food.
 
You might be an alcoholic if you wake up in a stranger's car wrapped in a blanket three blocks from your residence with no recollection of how you got there

You might be an alcoholic if you wake up with unexplained scrapes and bruises all over your body

You might be an alcoholic if you start to believe blacking out and not remembering the entire night is the goal of drinking
 
if you attempt to hold the wheel with the same hand you shift so you can hold the beer can in the other hand
 
OOOO OOO OOO I have some! :)

-- You might just possibly be an alkie if, after you finish the 12-pack of beer you bought, you scrounge the house for alcohol and wind up drinking a vile concoction such as cooking sherry mixed with grape Kool-Aid.

--It is a good possibility that you are an alkie if you make sure to have your bottle of Gatorade on your nightstand for when you awake in the morning with that raging thirst.

--Chances are that you are an alkie if you spend all day cooking your family a fabulous Christmas dinner and then don't eat any of it yourself 'cause food interferes with your beer buzz.
 
you might be an alcoholic when you blackout on a week night and urinate all over the couch while your dad and step mom are watching wheel of fortune. Mind you wheel of fortune was on at 7pm, so somehow I managed to get that wasted between when I got out of work at 5pm and 7pm....on a week night. honestly I was trying to drink myself to sleep because I was so dopesick...to end the story I didn't even remember doing this at all but the next morning my dad was furious when I tried to hit him up for $10 (so i could buy a bag of dope). He bitched me out for a minute and then gave me the money. but comeon I needed a bag, it was a week day and I had to go to work. :\

Then I was off to cop, go to work till 5pm and come home and drink myself asleep again. ^this was my balls out heroin/alcohol routine that I managed for about 6 months....everyday the same...with extra sex and heroin during mine or my gf's payday and lots of scamming, hustling and copping adventures.

that's one of my worst alcohol/drug stories, but I ended up completely clean for 11ish months after that ride.

but you really know when your an alcohol when you drink because you won't feel right unless you do. the depression that heavy alcohol use brought on me was just brutal....that and the way I was living.
 
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You might be an alcoholic, if you cut meetings of family members down to shorter amounts of time to go by booze.
 
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