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You might be an alcoholic if..

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ds
  • Start date Start date
Haha, D's, I've had what I call "bakery breath" a few times.

-If you shotgun a beer before class, so you'll be more outgoing and sociable in group work.

-If you justify drinking on tramadol with, "Hey, this will help prevent seizures, right?"

-You have all these confused text messages in your inbox and all these ones in your outbox saying short, unprompted phrases like, "Butt," "Yes," "Vitamin C is the I want the because the Vitamin C is the best," and "Go write a poem about it, gay boy."

-When you have a 30 rack, you don't drink water, milk, or anything else for a day or so.

-Your doctor tells you so.
 
-you mix your solo bottles with half gin.
-you have to mix weaker drinks for your friends because yours are "disgusting"
-you think water needs a bit more burn to it.
-you alternate the two closest bottle stores so the staff don't think you have a problem... but they still all know who you are and give you that look.
-you put gin in your water bottle for uni.
-you drink a bottle of gin every day during exam week- and the months preceding it, but still manage to ace everything.
-everyone tells you that you shouldn't drink.
-you love alcohol, but you hate it so much.
-you're scared of alcohol.
 
How in the world could you ace exams whilst imbibing a handle of gin a day?

I can't even drink the day before studying because my concentration is crap. If I want to study, it's best to give myself 3 days away from the bottle or it will distract me in one way or another.
 
I shock myself with how much I manage to be a mess up while still not messing everything up.

It was a case of being so depressed that I had a choice between being in the foetal position under the covers all day, or drinking and studying, didn't really have a choice.
I did work hard steadily throughout the year, things just fell apart again over the last couple of months.
Got a distinction in pharmacology and credits for the rest.

That said, after that I spent three weeks in the psych ward and got diagnosed with bipolar only got out a week ago.
 
-you wake up, open your drawer and take your hangover cocktail of 2 ibuprofen, 2 paracetamol and some valium... then wash it down with whatever drink happens to be on the table next to you from last night.
 
All true stories:

-you and your brother drive drunk with a bag full of coins to dump at the grocery store, then go to the liquor store with that money to get more booze.

-you drink only to get drunk and if you're not getting drunk you're not doing it right

-your sister had to help you off the floor in the bathroom because you fell sideways off the toilet..

-you drink a cup of alcohol down in less than a minute then are already ready for the next.

-you like drinking alcohol with a straw because it goes down faster....

-youve been so drunk you went past the point of being drunk into the point of cocked.

-you have a long convo based off nothing but at the time it makes complete sense.

-you've tripped over something imaginary when drunk but you get right back up to get another cup.
 
If your breakfast before work consists of 6 12oz cans of steel reserve

If you spend more time chugging vodka in bathroom stalls than you do taking shits

If find yourself telling your boss, "I swear I'm not drunk, a just had a beer or two at lunch."
 
emj10 said:
You might be an alcoholic if you drink listerine to get drunk.
Click to expand...
Or like the guy on intervention drinking hand sanitizer.... He was in the hospital for alcohol poisoning and drink the stuff in the room. Could of made him blind, he saw it say alcohol and then decided to drink it.
 
Not an alcoholic, but I certainly am not healthy in my drinking:

If you've broken $2500 worth of your own electronics while blacked out in the course of a year.

If waking up hungover as fuck and finding bloody vomit on your bed/self/floor evokes only a mildly annoyed, same-old-same-old kinda feeling from you.

If you don't even feel guilty anymore when you steal your relatives booze while drunk to get drunker.
 
If you wake up, not hungover, but still drunk and have another drink. (Actually is a pretty fun experience until about 6PM when the hangover finally hits you.)
 
Alcohol takes away the nausea. Food doesn't.
On a side note a couple of months ago I ordered pizza delivery, tried to pay for it and the guy wouldn't let me, went on for days about how cool it was I got a free pizza, then looked at my bank account and realised that I actually had paid... blackout in action.
 
You fall down drunk in a friends kitchen and all you can say is "I've fallen and I can't get up, I need life alert." and then procede to drink more.

Your morning coffee is actually 90% Peppermint Mocha Kahlua and 10% coffee.

You've taken shots of everclear on sunday morning and watched Joel Osteen even though you're not religious whatsoever.
 
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