I can't let you go, Shannon, I'm sorry - I can't. I still miss and love you too much to say. It tears me apart to know our daughter would be 26 and half months today, why aren't you here with me? I started wandering again yesterday, to the places we used to meet and I felt the most obscene combination of heartbreak and nostalgia. I need you here with me, forever, just like we said, just like we promised. I'm still yours, forever, always and infinitely. I'd love to know if you think even a fraction as much as I think of you, every single day, every minute, every hour is one I should be spending with you, curled up with you watching the sunrise, just like we used to do. Do you remember that? I'm sure you do, 'cause I'll never forget it. Sunrise is the only thing that is anywhere near as beautiful as you are to me. My eternal love is yours to hold, if only you wanted it.
Forever yours, Connor.
#2
You know it's probably a good thing you haven't seen me recently, because all I've done is fill the void left by you and our Lucy with opiates and booze since you left. Nearly 3 fucking years of it. I'm nothing of the man you fell in love with, you were the only reason I got clean but now I don't have that. But I almost see it as a good thing, if we ever meet again you'll see what a fucking disgrace I've become and you won't waste a second of your precious time on a fucking wastebag like me. You'll be happy, as I always will remember you, with a smile that could "sink a thousand ships"; forgive the reference but you are my Helen of Troy and I'd happily join the sunken fleet just to hold your hand once more, to hear you breathe with your head on my shoulder. I hope you're happy, wherever you are, just know I am forever yours and will give anything to hold you once more, if you only give me a sign.
I love you, Connor.
#3 I just saw you've found someone. Congrats. I wish him the best, though half of me wishes to tear him in half, limb from pitiful fucking limb. Though I'm happy you've finally moved on - 791 days afterwards. I'm still here. Forever. I can't think right now. I don't wanna breathe knowing someone has taken my place. I hope he makes you happier than I ever did, I truly do, my fucking mentally ill, doped up ways ruined the best thing I've ever known. Just trust in that I'll love you, even in death. You showed me perfection, and in the afterlife I get to meet our beautiful baby girl, I hope she's as beautiful as her mummy. I love you. I'll see you soon enough. Stay safe, my beautiful, beautiful Angel, I'll always love you - Goodbye, for the final time.
