First of all , sorry my bad english, actually i speak spanish and this is the only page in internet where i could find similar simptons like me. i wrote this to FBC but i want to share it with you all too, need some opinion and any advice will be wellcome.
Well, i dont know if you have enought time to read some tips about my last months, i found you one of the most strongers persons in the world if you had lived what you had lived (and i have experienced more o less, maybe not so worst)
Im a engineerin student, i had a nice life before all this.. :S i dont know how to deal with it.
It began 5 months ago, i was doing the last 6 mont maybe 10 time mdma, in small amounts of less than 100 mg, in 3 weeks periods maximum, but was the last time, the next day after sleepin, i woke up fine, but in the evening my hearths pounds more than never, y felt upset, and the upsetting was going on over the last 5 months, ALL day with contiunous non stop extreme anxiety, from the beggining till sometimes 4 hour post sleep (i wasnt able to do till 2 moths ago btw), and it took me to depression.
I dont know what to do know, i had to admiit i was thinking a lot of time on suicide, mi GP prescribe me lexapro 20mg , that im tryin to go off today cause i dont want to be everyday med-dependant. I had gone to psicologist too try to do all that i cant, but im not sure that if its helping really, althought i enjoy the conversation.
Some simptons: teeth tremblin, finger tremblin, jaw pain (in the first months was really heavy),brain zaps along the day(fading maybe with the months, i had a few today in the left back my head) , i found my own voice more humble than i used too even if a want to increase the loud and of course stomachache when im anxious.
Sex was ok (only fucked with the lexapro, but im working even with it), and my vision too.
My Gp said that my brain its ok, im sure its not as she thought.
Said this, i have just one question, if dont think anyway in the idea of end my life at 22 years...what can i do, im just waking up thinkin "is this a good day or...:S " "can this go away?"i cant study in that way, cant do any routine.
Even with my gf...she is with me, but i really think she deserves a happy guy, and not a brainfucked like me now, i can give anything to her...but i try to smile everyday.
Im really scared to wake up everyday :S is like a nightmare...