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Why do girls like to get played ? Merged.

BlueMind said:
^^^ Good advice.

I seemed to have lost myself during my last relationship. I am still recovering from it, even though we split back in April.

I plan on going to the woods with some mescaline, and meditating for a LONG time to try and find myself again. Deep down I don't hate women :D
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Good for you ;) And bingo.... drugs are always the answer! =D ;)

Good luck matey :)
 
I'm no self-proclaimed "nice guy" but...

Quotes like this...

Well, for me, in the long run, it has proven that the good guy does get the good girls last. Assholes became passe once i grew more mature and definitely grew up.
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... piss me off all over the place.

What makes you think some great guy who has been doing things right his whole life wants a girl who has been put through hell by some asshole? Why, so when she's lost her sparkle and shine, she's finally ready for domestication? Spare me the drama! Give me a girl fresh off the assembly line. Every guy wants that. I don't want some asshole's reject girlfriend with emotional issues simply because she's tired of railing coke off some dealer's dick.

By that time, she's probably 30lbs overweight and got dumped by said asshole. In fact, I'd be willing to wager that she'd still be with her "asshole" ex-boyfriend given the chance.

I understand that life isn't fair, but I've seen some pretty hot women put themselves though hell with drugs and abuse, then finally get dumped on the curb and expect a nice guy to pick them back up again.

"Oh, I've realized my mistake! Some gentleman come clean up this mess"

Nice guys aren't 2nd string linebackers ready to come play the game during the last quarter.

Do it right the first time.
 
^^^ You make it out like it's the innocent parties fault.

Despite this thread being titled "why do girls like to get played?", going by the prior posts, I'd say it's become more about 'why do girls like guys who act macho?'. That is a different story all together. Just because people find a macho front hot, doesn't mean they enjoy OR get treated like shit.8)

If a girl were to still be with her 'arsehole' ex b/f over a nice guy when she had major 'emotional issues' (as you put it), chances are she experienced emotional abuse in some way or form which lead her to have some co-dependancy issues re: her ex. EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS ONLY THE PULPETRATORS FAULT, NO-ONE ELSES. If you think otherwise I wouldn't even begin to refer to myself as 'nice' if I was you.

Next time before bouncing up and down with your ridiculous comments, educate yourself on the reasons WHY??? If you can sympathize and forgive the innocent for their bad experiences with an arsehole, rather than holding grudges against them (as is blatantly obvious going by your posts), then that's what makes the 'nice type'. Not some idiot who is judgemental and unforgiving regarding another persons past that has little to do with them...8)
 
Ever heard of victims syndrome?

On another note, when someone voices their opinion and you dont agree with it... its NOT your right to call them a "judgemental idiot". All you are doing is the exact same thing you are accusing them of. What does that make you?

If you dont agree just say you dont and why you dont. Its immature to make a personal attack on someone because you dont agree with their opinion AND remember everyone has a right to their own opinion.
 
Fair call Tones.

I will however say that I judge judment, lol. Yes, I am guilty of it but accept all consequences when called on it.

Edit to add: My comment was a generalisation and not directed at any one person in particular.
 
If you can sympathize and forgive the innocent for their bad experiences with an arsehole, rather than holding grudges against them (as is blatantly obvious going by your posts), then that's what makes the 'nice type'. Not some idiot who is judgemental and unforgiving regarding another persons past that has little to do with them...
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I never claimed to be nice. I'm just representing good people who are too damned nice to let you know what a big, fat ripoff this deal is.

Forget the doormat vs. supreme asshole extremes. Think of a nice guy in terms of this:

* Won't cheat on you
* Affectionate because he likes you
* Takes you out to do things
* Makes an effort to get to know (and get along with) your friends
* Has life goals
* Has relationship goals
* Treats you equally and with respect
* Is your friend

Notice how reasonable that list is. That's my criteria for a good relationship. That's not being a doormat.

A nice guy is not someone who will harbor you after screwing up your life. That person is a doormat. A nice person with self-respect will demand the best, treat them like gold and expect the same in return. A girl doesn't deserve a real 'nice guy' after submitting herself to the lowest common denominator of male predator. She is damaged. She has "issues." This isn't the fabled scene where Mr. Nice Guy enters, it's the scene where our poor damsel gets therapy.

So stop making it seem like women are victims of assholes. That's not true. Women are victims of outdated evolutionary ideals of how a man should be. They're victims of themselves. In summary, They're accountable for their own choices.

Imagine with me, if you will, a scenario.

Take a girl, perhaps 19, pretty, likes to party. She's fresh, fun and independent. - Her parents brought her up right. She has goals, ambitions, rather intelligent and fun to be around.

Now imagine she's out with the girls one night and meets a guy. He's attractive, rugged, brash, obnoxious, a bit unkempt, a bit coked up, drunk and LOUD.

So far, our girl has ascertained a few things and smiles shyly to our hero, a smile of submission.

NOW FREEZE

What just happened here? WHY in the fuck did she just do that? Tell me ~*kanderavErchick*~ - what possible rationale made that smile appear on her face?

What does she know about this character that makes him the lucky recipient of a pretty girl's smile?

Nothing - and the ensuing madness that takes her to either a higher or lesser extreme of misery is a product of her own poor judgement.

So don't tell me to be forgiving. I have the wherewithal to leave a relationship that doesn't meet my criteria for success. I have the insight to figure out when my needs are met.

And most of all, while I may be a judgemental idiot, I'm not an asshole.
 
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Kyk said:

What just happened here? WHY in the fuck did she just do that? Tell me ~*kanderavErchick*~ - what possible rationale made that smile appear on her face?

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Er, looks, of course... even you know the answer to that Kyk ;) And guys are exactly the same. Physical attraction sets off inevitable and involuntary reactions in us, no matter what persona the person may or may not have. Shallow but true.

I've no doubt that girl would have smiled at the "nice" guy, had he been hot as well.
 
Usually it's the younger girls who love the cocky/macho type.
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That's really what it boils down to. Guys and gals alike, though especially gals, luuuuuuuuurve being played in their teens to mid twenties.

But it gets immensely better after that. We grow out of it.

So my advice to you, as crappy as it is, is just wait it out. Focus on other things for now.

Btw, not every girl who has been played has 'emotional issues'. I've been played, I've gone for the assholes, I've done all that. But I've learned and matured. No longer a diamond in the rough, I sparkle brighter than ever.
 
What do genuinely decent guys who have a predisposition to like younger girls do?
 
I'm not going on here about looks. I'm a sucker for looks just as much as the next guy.

I just think that if two equally attractive males are put side-by-side, the one with the propensity to offer less in the emotional dept. would end up getting the girl.

It's my goal to implant a meme that will change this. -- And of course point out that not every decent guy in this world wants to date a woman who has run the emotional gamut with a bunch of other dudes, whether she has prevelant issues or not.

I believe that a woman may have a hard time respecting a kind and loving partner after being accustomed to being treated poorly. In fact, depending on her father or previous boyfriends, she may even come to associate asshole treatment as a sign of strength.

This must also change.

I honestly believe that there are many women out there who would (in a heartbeat) take a nice attractive guy, over an attractive jerk - but I also believe that for every girl who does this, there are just as many more who would do the opposite.
 
Kyk:

Might a more positive way to spin your point be . . .

. . . that the asshole guys will tend to end up with the asshole-guy-loving-girls and the nice guys will tend to end up with the women who are wise enough to appreciate them?
 
Y'know - that's a good point.

I bet if I was getting laid right now I probably wouldn't have a word to say about this topic.
 
To jokes that are only inside because not everyone can be bothered to refresh SLR every 38 seconds. :)
 
And of course point out that not every decent guy in this world wants to date a woman who has run the emotional gamut with a bunch of other dudes, whether she has prevelant issues or not.
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I think 'running the emotional gamut', as you put it, is part of life, it's part of the process, and it makes every person stronger and more appreciative of the good stuff.

If you go for girls without significant emotional experience, I highly doubt you will be able to develop a meaningful relationship. Lack of emotional experience nearly always goes along with a lack of emotional depth.

There are younger girls who are done with playing games and getting played, but they are few and far between, and they almost certainly have run the emotional gamut, just sooner/faster than others have.
 
Kyk said:
I never claimed to be nice. I'm just representing good people who are too damned nice to let you know what a big, fat ripoff this deal is.

Forget the doormat vs. supreme asshole extremes. Think of a nice guy in terms of this:

* Won't cheat on you
* Affectionate because he likes you
* Takes you out to do things
* Makes an effort to get to know (and get along with) your friends
* Has life goals
* Has relationship goals
* Treats you equally and with respect
* Is your friend

Notice how reasonable that list is. That's my criteria for a good relationship. That's not being a doormat.

A nice guy is not someone who will harbor you after screwing up your life. That person is a doormat. A nice person with self-respect will demand the best, treat them like gold and expect the same in return. A girl doesn't deserve a real 'nice guy' after submitting herself to the lowest common denominator of male predator. She is damaged. She has "issues." This isn't the fabled scene where Mr. Nice Guy enters, it's the scene where our poor damsel gets therapy.

So stop making it seem like women are victims of assholes. That's not true. Women are victims of outdated evolutionary ideals of how a man should be. They're victims of themselves. In summary, They're accountable for their own choices.

Imagine with me, if you will, a scenario.

Take a girl, perhaps 19, pretty, likes to party. She's fresh, fun and independent. - Her parents brought her up right. She has goals, ambitions, rather intelligent and fun to be around.

Now imagine she's out with the girls one night and meets a guy. He's attractive, rugged, brash, obnoxious, a bit unkempt, a bit coked up, drunk and LOUD.

So far, our girl has ascertained a few things and smiles shyly to our hero, a smile of submission.

NOW FREEZE

What just happened here? WHY in the fuck did she just do that? Tell me ~*kanderavErchick*~ - what possible rationale made that smile appear on her face?

What does she know about this character that makes him the lucky recipient of a pretty girl's smile?

Nothing - and the ensuing madness that takes her to either a higher or lesser extreme of misery is a product of her own poor judgement.

So don't tell me to be forgiving. I have the wherewithal to leave a relationship that doesn't meet my criteria for success. I have the insight to figure out when my needs are met.

And most of all, while I may be a judgemental idiot, I'm not an asshole.
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I think your list of 'nice guy' criteria is very one sided, I mean, did it ever occur to you that not everyone at all points in their life are looking for commitment??? Hell, maybe they've just come out of a long-term relationship and are looking for something a little more casual... This doesn't mean that the alternative is being treated like crap, a middle ground is easily possible.

So does that say to you that they are no longer worthy of eventually giving and recieving the qualities you mentioned? Simply because they wanted something a little alternative at one or more times in their life? Just because someone isn't after 'commitment' doesn't mean they have become someones 'dooormat', if the feelings mutual it's simply about doing what's best suited to themselves for the moment.

You seem so certain that it all comes down to 'screwing up your life', depsite a few people in this thread posting and telling you this comment holds little truth... and believe me, it does.

Re: your 'women the victim of assholes' comment - I have one question for you: Do you dismiss the idea of emotional/ physical abuse and/or think it is deserved?8o

Strawberry_ love_muffin pretty much said what I would've said in answer to your case scenario! Obviously there was some sort of initial attraction to this male... (it's really not so hard to accept and doesn't symbolize that she will be treated like shit, nor does it suggest she'd stand for it).
 
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