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Why do girls like to get played ? Merged.

“This is above all - to thine own self be true” Polonius: Hamlet, I, iii
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Ahhh, if only it were that easy. Can you honestly say that you go around without boundaries and certain nuances applied to your social behavior ? If you do, I applaud you. I think though, that for most of us living in this heavily egotistic and materialistic time it isn't reasonable.

We are so heavily influenced by society and the media in general that I don't even think the individual has a strong choice in what they are attracted by. It all has to do with what skills and morals your parents gave you and what you learned by observing the outside world.

This conversation made me chuckle, it's from a movie called "the City of God". It has to do with our relationships.

S= Shaggy M= Marena
S : "My heart chosen you, and I follow my heart"
M : "Are you pulling my leg ?"
S : "You never heard of love at first sight ?"
M : "Hoods don't love, they desire"
S : "You cut down everything I say."
M : "Hoods don't talk, they smooth-talk."
S : "Well, i'll stop wasting my breath on you."
M : "Hoods don't stop, they take a break."
S : "Talking to you about love sure is complicated..."
M : "It's not love, it's a con-game."
S : "It's just that... I love you..."
M : "You might just end up convincing me..."
<WILD sex ensues>
 
Kyk said:
That doesn't make sense. If you're so strong and confident, wouldn't your personality be better offset by someone more accommodating and perhaps sensitive to bullshit? Y'know, easy to get along with.

I don't see how two people who both have their heads up their ass are going to accomplish anything.
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no, no, no... I think you've got it all wrong (in my case anyhow).

It's not a matter of having my "head up my arse". It's about being comfortable with myself and being sure of my own decisions in life. I like somebody who can offer the same re: themselves. My life is my responsibility and yours is yours, if you don't like it, you can leave, type of attitude.

To me, all it suggests is the lack of willingness to alter my life. Sure, I am open to 'suggestions' and if I feel they are beneficial, I am prepared to work towards a better result but I'm certaintly not prepared to 'change' my ways due to another being unhappy for whatever reasons, when it's something about my personal nature I am comfortable and happy with.

To many people have tried to change me over the years, to make me who they want me to be. These people have generally just been your regular 'joe blows' and quite frankly, I am sick of it. In my experiences with the so called 'cocky type', yes - they are rather cut for themselves and do as they please BUT it suits me just fine because in turn they allow me the same deal.

I am 19 years old, not looking for marriage or any extravagant emotional commitment (beyond A1 friendship).

It may come across as egotistical but it's really about having a strong sense of independance and security (provided it isn't faked).

I can see how it could be a really bad thing when two of these types of people get together and try and turn it into a pissing contest as to who can shatter each other into the most teeny, tiny pieces. However, provided the intention is genuine (as mentioned above), it's just about having an inderstanding and acceptance of each others right to free will re: their own life.
 
i think it boils down to something that seems like you have to work for it, must have more value. guys that are push overs are exactly that, and some girls see the nice guys as : 'i could get this guy easy.' the cocky guy may seem like she has to work for it and therefore that guy is more valuable. same thing for guys concerning girls. the easy chix that he knows he can get arent as attractive as maybe one that he has to work for it. maybe?
it's that whole Conquest thing.
 
I have posted this quote before and I will post it yet again:

Why do women like men who are assholes?

They don't.

Women like men who are good looking, confident and wealthy.

The "asshole" part is like cole slaw.

Nobody orders it, but sometimes, it comes with the meal.
 
^
I believe in the previous version it always came with the meal.

Are you reforming your opinion?
 
^^^^

Nope.

The quote has not changed.

If the quote read "always," then I'd be admitting to being either

not good-looking,

not confident,

not wealthy,

an asshole,

or

not liked-by-women.

And as everyone knows, that would be ridiculous.
 
Im telling you .............fuck her once and youll notice a big difference. Im sure you can the 20 minutes or so (uh-hum) ;)

Lee
 
psychetool said:
The thing that I find crazy is that the cocky method is tried and true. It works.

Perhaps someday I will find a girl who actually likes me, for me, but until then i'll just continue to plod along and use this method. At least it works, as opposed to being lonely.
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The cocky method does work when you are young. You can do whatever you want, but one day if you are eyeing on a nice girl, she probably won't like you if she is into nice boys. The reason is from seeing you act all cocky, she'll take that as the real you.

You can do whatever works now to get a bitch into bed.

Or you can be yourself and you'll find a nice long relationship or marriage one day. It's all up to you.

Which type of guys usually get married & start a family? Nice ones. I have not yet seen a cocky macho guy pushing a baby stroller and being happy about it. (Although I've seen some unhappily do so with an annoying bitch on the side, so the cocky type does work for getting a bitch to bed)
 
Okay heres my theory...

I dated a NICE guy for 4.5 years, it was boring unfulfilling and he didnt give me what i wanted... I just hate NICE NICE guys.. I want someone with abit of a mean streak.

This doesnt mean to say though.. that ASSHOLES as you see them are total assholes when us women get them alone!!!!

They have this mucho exterior to uphold in the public eye but they melt when it comes to alone time with the woman they love.. and thats the reason for the special bond and why us girls stay with that particular guy.

We see what is benieth the exterior he would normally show YOU (another man)

Make sence?
 
^^ Everyone has a mean streak. I agree, a NICE NICE guy is weird. Everyone has a mean streak..
 
Personally I've found the same thing.

Acting like a nice guy got me nowhere. I got bitter and angry about, then starting acting like an asshole. Then I started getting girls.

I don't really care any more. I've given up trying to be nice to them, I'll just keep being an asshole. It seems to work. How depressing.
 
RiseGurl said:
Okay heres my theory...

I dated a NICE guy for 4.5 years, it was boring unfulfilling and he didnt give me what i wanted... I just hate NICE NICE guys.. I want someone with abit of a mean streak.

This doesnt mean to say though.. that ******S as you see them are total ******s when us women get them alone!!!!

They have this mucho exterior to uphold in the public eye but they melt when it comes to alone time with the woman they love.. and thats the reason for the special bond and why us girls stay with that particular guy.

We see what is benieth the exterior he would normally show YOU (another man)

Make sence?
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Pretty much what I've been saying this entire thread, so I'm rather glad you chimed in with your two cents to support me. NICE NICE GUYS, or as I put them, the "doormat" types, end up boring women with their passivity and rather lack of any sense of strength.

Unfortunately, perception is reality, so nice guys are always going to see a cocky guy as the "jerk" type because that's what's being presented at the bar, party, or whatever event he's at.

Moral of the story? It's better to be a good person and be unwittingly perceived as a jerk for your supposed macho behavior than to go out of your way to fill the shoes just to get a quick piece of ass or two. C'mon guys, there's more to women than just getting your rocks off.
 
I'm no psychologist, but I think girls go for the "bad-boys" 'cuz they're more of a challenge (they keep 'em in check). They have more going on and tend to be more adventurous.

The supposed "nice guys" are just pushovers and tend to get boring really quickly. They're like little puppies that wag their tails when they see you and do whatever it takes to make you happy.

I'm a guy, and I can't stand dating a girl who's all coy and "nice". It's boring.

Anyways, this is all stuff you already know.

MushMan
 
keystroke said:
I agree, I hate how arseholes seem to get chicks - but the chicks they tend to get would be emotionless toolboxes if you ever got know them. That's why IMO, they get arsehole boyfriends in the first place.

so you're not missing out on anything at all by not being with one of these girls..
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I'm not sure about this... I've fallen for THE BIGGEST PRICKS when I knew better. Emotionally, I was feeling very low about myself and figured I didn't deserve better.

I'm deffinetly not emotionless... if anything I'm too sensitive. =D
 
I am a nice guy... just ask Rise Gurl :p
but if you treat me wrong you will see just how much of a bad boy I can be ¬_¬
 
Now wait a minute. You're starting to realize something here. I had done the whole nice guy thing, put women on a pedestal, blah blah blah. After getting my heart ripped out so many times, I am now at the point where I honestly don't give a flying fuck. And women made me that way. If that's what becoming a man is, well whatever then.

I've learned to live a single life, and its ok. When I see a really hot chick somewhere, I tend to imagine what a conversation would be like with her. Forget her looks, hot chicks are a dime a dozen. I'm looking for a beautiful woman with a great brain inside her head. A thinker.

If I meet a girl and she doesn't have much going on upstairs , then I have no problem being a dick. Stupid fucking women. And after I turn into an asshole, then they fuck me. I don't get it.....but that's life.
 
As ive grown older, i can weed the real men from the boys....and its very simple really: Real men are those who are honest about themselves, and who are true to others . Im sorry but everytime a good guy friend of mine makes the comment " i think ill be an asshole this time, im too nice, and the assholes get all the girls" I always wack his head and tell him that is so not true. Well, for me, in the long run, it has proven that the good guy does get the good girls last. Assholes became passe once i grew more mature and definitely grew up.
I hate the whole playing/game scene....sure i can bullshit as well as any guy and probably keep you on your toes if i wanted to for the sake of it...but what for? ITs such a waste of time. Im all for blatant honesty, to tell u the truth. Fuck games and being played...its all about penetrating the bush , not beating around it .
And i quote: The elegance of honesty needs no adornment Just be yourself. It will pay off in the end.
 
BlueMind said:
I'm looking for a beautiful woman with a great brain inside her head. A thinker.
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I don't agree with much you've said, because I'm over broken, bitter men. But I agree with that. Believe me, we're out there. There's many in this forum alone.

Seriously? Get over it. There's nothing more unattractive than someone who hates women. The odds are you'll meet someone if you're open to experiences, no matter how degrading, disappointing, negative, postitive... whatever. It's life buddy. We've all been through it. You won't find a single person here who hasn't had their heart broken, broken hearts themselves, felt like giving up, felt like complete and utter shit.

You're living, breathing, experiencing love like it IS... not like novels and poems tell you it is. This is IT. This is love. And one day, through all the shit, you'll find a diamond. But if you give up, all you'll ever get is to wallow in your own misery.

Just some advice from someone who's been there ;)
<3
 
^^^ Good advice.

I seemed to have lost myself during my last relationship. I am still recovering from it, even though we split back in April.

I plan on going to the woods with some mescaline, and meditating for a LONG time to try and find myself again. Deep down I don't hate women :D
 
Unfortunately most people stereotype men as the ones being assholes and it all their fault (Genralising here not saying any bluelighters do this)..

What you dont hear a lot of is that females are just as bad and in fact what is really happening is that there has been a catch 22 situation generated. The guys become assholes the majority of the time because a few girls in their past have emotionaly destroyed them... and this in turn has also occured in the same way for the female as well.

Now I am not saying this happens all the time... Some ppl are just general assholes by the way they are brought up (male and female) and the attitudes they learn about the opposite sex from childhood examples.

hmmm this is starting to look like dribble... forget I said anything, after re-reading what I said I dont actually agree with what I said... *shuts up before he digs himself a deeper hole*
 
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