• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Why do girls like to get played ? Merged.

psychetool

psychetool

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
6,186
Why do girls like to get played ?

Girls seem to like the whole alpha-male bullshit egotistical CRAP. I'm a laid back guy who would like to actually show his REAL feelings to my girl rather then some trumped up cocky bullshit. Why do you fall for the whole cocky, i'm the best and most powerful, coolest guy on earth act ?

I have tried to be the 'nice guy' before, but the fact is the ladies just don't go for it. It seems, at least to me, that they want a self-confident (cocky) and beautiful man to live in eden with. Newsflash, nobody is like that.

I find it crazy that just to get some ass or good conversation that I have to put on this 'act' that they will fall for and enjoy instead of just being myself.

I'v recently put this theory to a test, and it stands up without fail. All the girls around the portland area at least seems to luuuv the whole alpha male thing yet don't dig the sensitive niceguy. I can get play with this stupid 'act' I put on or get nothing with being myself. Argh.

Sorry to bash, i'm just pissed right now and perhaps am venting. Here is my dilemma. There is a girl that I really like, I have liked for ages, but all she seems to like is my whole 'hard and cocky' side that I put on for the ladies. When I try to be myself and actually get into her mind instead of just her body she seems to freak out and back off! Then the next night I act 'proper' like a guy should all cocky and whatnot and she is whispering into my ear pulling me to the side to joke and all sorts of other flirty stuff.

Ok, i'll end this bullshit and just ask : Whats up with girls likeing the macho/arrogant guy ? I'm smart and strong, but unless I put on 'the act' I seem to get the cold shoulder. What gives ?
 
Hey, I'm a girl and guilty of falling for the 'cocky' type as you described.

The guy I'm seeing atm, actually has the worst case of it I've seen, lmao. He really has a "I don't give a fuck what you think" type of attitude going on. He isn't actually overly attractive but judging from his past, he seems to pull almost what you'd describe as the 'trophy girlfriends'.

Why? I love confidence and strength. Being that way myself, it is generally hard for me to find a guy who I won't bring to tears within a few weeks of seeing them. I have 'my' way of doing things and if people don't like it, there isn't any use sulking to me about it coz it's not going to change (although I may sympathize with you).

I find it really unnatractive when guys aren't as emotionally strong as me, really unnatractive...
I need someone who's gonna keep me in-line and challenge me. Anything less, fast becomes boring (no matter how sweet), and I become disinterested.

Intelligence is another extemely important factor I look for. As someone who is deeply enthusiastic regarding the politics of life, it is essential that someone I am seeing has a broad understanding of these issues also.

When both confidence (call it arrogance if you may) and intelligence are combined, I feel you've got a pretty good thing.

Confidence without intelligence is useless, intelligence without confidence is useless. It's the combo.
 
trust me, act all macho until you bang her maybe once or a couple of times depending on what kind of girl she is and THEN trust me she will want the laid back real guy that actually SHOWS his feelings.

Im a woman---trust me I know.;)

Luvlee

"Lifes a bitch, then you die,
Lifes a bitch, and so am I"
 
I hate the cocky type. I really like the nice boys. You know, it sucks that a nice guy feels as though he needs to put up a front in order to please some girls. Too bad for the girl who would be totally in love with you for being a nice guy is going to see your front instead.

How old is this girl? Usually it's the younger girls who love the cocky/macho type. Most girls I know, which are in my age group, (early 20s), are looking for nice guys. There are girls out there complaining why there are no nice guys.

Most guys think cocky/macho is the way to be, since they were always the ones who got the girls. But I think it's all wrong. It used to be the case back when in high school where being attractive was everything.

I really don't know how long or serious you think this relationship will go if you can't be yourself.

That's just my opinion.
 
^^^
I wish the girls around here were like you, I really don't understand how somebody would like an act but not dig the real deal.

I'm 19 and so is my ladyfriend. I agree that it certainly could not develope into anything meaningful if I just put on this bullshit front all the time.

Perhaps it's the TYPE of girls that I like ? I like the independant, smart, hiphoplistening hippygirls... I have found a few rational/logical girls before, but they are few and far between.

Lee, it still seems crazy to me that I should have to act all macho just to get her into the sack. I mean, i'd rather get her into the sack (into a relationship, to be truthful) with some mind sex and not mindless 'i'm the man' stuff....
 
It's not necissarilly an 'act', I hate it when it's put on. Some people genuinely are hard and to the point... that's what I dig ;) .
 
I love confidence and strength. Being that way myself, it is generally hard for me to find a guy who I won't bring to tears within a few weeks of seeing them. I have 'my' way of doing things and if people don't like it, there isn't any use sulking to me about it coz it's not going to change (although I may sympathize with you).
Click to expand...

That doesn't make sense. If you're so strong and confident, wouldn't your personality be better offset by someone more accommodating and perhaps sensitive to bullshit? Y'know, easy to get along with.

I don't see how two people who both have their heads up their ass are going to accomplish anything.
 
Last edited:
I have been in all sorts of situations, cocky, bad-boy,.confident, everything you can think I pulled off at one point, well one night I met a girl at my grandmothers funeral and we locked eyes once and I notice she was leaving and when she was outside I went by the door to see if she was there and we locked eyes again, we spoke and she asked me something like ''I have been with too many heart breakers, can you please prmise me you will just be you and only you'' I was blown away and excited, we had a good run for 4 yrs just recently broke up for a few serious reasons but we have remained faitful to eachother this whole time....thing that is a problem for me is we are ''friends'' but we sleep together often...it's like we lived together for 1 yr, went back to our homes for financial reasons this was love to both of us, we still have our ins and outs and I just got back from her house and she said ''just cause we are friends does not mean you are my everything'' I really didnt get too much into cause my heart has been ripped out by this gril, but stupid me still goes over there, we have wild sex and we remain friends and its been this way for 7 months.....it's like we are in denial of the truth about what we want from eachother so we mask our fears with the word friends, but I dont have many friends or any (females of course) that kiss me on the lips and sleep with me on a regular basis, I guess you can its the cleanest and hottest friendship one can have with feelings but we dont show to eachother.....very strange when I think about it, but shes my soulmate and when we met i was the confident ''i dont care'' guy then went to a mature now its time to settle down and currently sleeping with the same girl regularly and talk and chat as friends.....but completely faithful....very very confusing but trust I wont complain :)

when it comes to the wire, be who you are, if some slore wants you to be a asshole to get attention she's not worth the sweat you brek out thinking of bullshit conversation....

if my story seems strange it must be all the valium....happy holidays everyone!!!!
 
I agree, I hate how arseholes seem to get chicks - but the chicks they tend to get would be emotionless toolboxes if you ever got know them. That's why IMO, they get arsehole boyfriends in the first place.

so you're not missing out on anything at all by not being with one of these girls..
 
Yeah...the thing I hate is that when it comes to the nice guy/cocky guy choice is that the women as always hypocritical about it, eg:

"I like guys who are really nice and aren't afraid to show their feelings." - went on to date (in rapid succession) a bullshit artist the year above her and then a rich boy who talked out of his arse.

There's stories like that everywhere. I mean, maybe I'm just hanging out with the wrong people - maybe it's just me. But seriously, I wish the girls around we would grow up.
 
The real irony is that they usually come to this amazing realization after they've had 2 kids, gained 30 pounds and racked up an endless supply of emotional issues.
 
I disagree here on the notion that all women are attracted to the ALPHA male. The more appropriate observation is that they are initially attracted to that type, but do not completely desire that in their lives.

The key issue here is that most of the "nice guys" I know, myself once included, are more pushover, smothering yes-men types than actual nice guys. Women are attracted to confidence and a sense of strength, which is why they're initially drawn to the cocky player types that end up burning them. These are traits that the yes-men brand of self-proclaimed "nice-guys" seem to painfully lack. Of course, when the ladies get a bitter dose of reality and realize the cocky jock type isn't what they want, a nice guy seems to be an impossible find.

As the old saying goes, people always seem to want to date BAD and marry GOOD. That being said, the trick is to strike a balance in your personality between the Jerk and Nice-Guy extremes. If you're brimming with confidence, not to be confused with arrogance or cockiness, you can reel in the woman of your interest in long enough to show her everything else you have to offer.
 
The thing that I find crazy is that the cocky method is tried and true. It works.

Perhaps someday I will find a girl who actually likes me, for me, but until then i'll just continue to plod along and use this method. At least it works, as opposed to being lonely.
 
psychetool said:
The thing that I find crazy is that the cocky method is tried and true. It works.

Perhaps someday I will find a girl who actually likes me, for me, but until then i'll just continue to plod along and use this method. At least it works, as opposed to being lonely.
Click to expand...

It shouldn't be so more much a method than an end-result of a personality adjustment or change. You sound like you're not really being true to yourself, and if that's correct, then that's worse off on you than being a "nice guy." Women despise fakers more than they do pushovers.
 
psychetool said:
^^^^
Incorrect. Women seem to love fakers.
Click to expand...

At least, until they find out how fake the men they have are. Of course, that seems to go hand-in-hand with "playing the game," I suppose. Such is the convoluted nature of human courtship.....

*sigh*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top