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Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

Nice guys don't finish last. When girls are young they like the assholes and men that are a challenge. When we get older we realize that its not what we want.
My bf is a nice guy. I am perfectly content with him. I would never change it for the world.
 
yeah.. find some middle ground.
i TRY to be a nice guy, but if you piss me off i'll kick your ass. otherwise, i try to be as helpful to people as possible.
i think girls who gravitate towards total assholes are idiots. sure, they give their own justifications, but that's the same as a guy getting with a hot bitch.
i personally don't care how hot a girl is, if she's a bitch... then she's a bitch. i'll hand that crap to someone else... and i couldn't care less if she got hit by a truck the next day.
girls, PLEASE don't try to justify getting with an asshole. just admit you're standards for guys right now are pretty idiotic...
 
Originally posted by Catch-22:
You know what hasn't been mentioned yet?
Charisma!
When it comes to attracting women, a man's charisma is more important than looks or attitude.
So true. People tell me that I have it during normal interactions, but once a girl to whom I am attracted enters the scene, it evaporates and I become awkward. It doesn't matter that I've got decent looks and a generally genial disposition; if the confidence isn't there, it all falls apart.
Click to expand...
 
I am glad this thread got resurrected--I was talking about this issue with a friend the other day and I devised a new theory as to why people--all people, not just women--are more attracted to "asshole" or "bitch" types, people who aren't so nice and don't treat them so well.
People do not want anything that is too easy to have. People do not value things that are easily obtained. The harder it is to get something, the more likely a person is to appreciate it once it is theirs. Therefore the "nice" man or woman who is too easily available is not valued or sought after as much.
Also, there have been studies showing that "random reward" is a powerful way to control behavior. In others words if somebody sometimes gets nothing but every once in a while gets a reward, it keeps him or her coming back for more. Also, by sometimes getting nothing, it makes the reward seem bigger than if the person always got rewarded.
I do not think that man or woman has to be a complete asshole or bitch or treat someone like absolute crap in order to get them, but there DOES have to be an element of elusiveness or mystery if a person wants to maximize the attraction people feel toward them.
-Aura
[ 10 June 2002: Message edited by: Azurae ]
 
Is that the one where the girl is at home and the dude calls her, but she lets the answering machine get it because she wants him to think she is out
and then the dude makes it sound like he's leaving a message from a club but really he is leaving a message from home with his stereo turned up really loud?
Oh man, I dig that commercial. It's so cute and so true.
-Aura
 
Naw, this one's even better. This guy's in a booth of a bar/restaurant, and he's the perfect potential boyfriend. He's surrounded by 3-4 chick friends who love his presence but keep him as their pet friend. You almost think he's gay, but he lets on that he'd love to have a girlfriend. And then his tough guy asshole acquaintance friend walks by. He says hello to the asshole who blows him off as well as the girls, and walks out. The girls then pine over him for some mysterious reason. Very True. Really good commercial.
 
Honestly I could never ever be an asshole. I just don't have the heart to do it. I've always been the quiet shy guy and it looks like I'm going to stay that way too. I do open my heart out to women and I do listen to them unlike some assholes who don't. I say fuck assholes. "Fuck them up there stuiped asses."
 
I dont think its about being an asshole.
Nice guys are great.. As long as they are a bit rough. I mean, as long as your not a pushover then it will get you much further if you are nice...
 
jesus fucking christ.
what a sorry mess y'all are in. this thread baffles me - are we talking 'nice guys' who are nice but lack social skills, intelligence, and aren't physically attractive? are we making incredible generalisations based (as always) on vanity, ego, and sheer objectivity?
i think masheadatronic's answer is the most fitting. unfortunately so many women do suffer from Incomprehensible Asshole Attraction syndrome. those who do are most welcome to pursue whatever they find desirable in a 'man' - they just expect the rest of us to pick up the pieces afterwards.
yeah, sorry but I usually think that "nice" guys are lame. "Assholes" are usually really hot, and cocky, and outgoing, and dominating, and have big cocks...
firstly, isn't it incredible how cocky guys have big penises? it must be all the time they spend telling everyone about it... and they really must be hot - let's face it, after all the preening & grooming that a 'hot' man must endure, i guess you'll end up an asshole by osmosis. surely you can see the abject generalisations here????
a typical asshole is not outgoing or confident - when will people wake up and realise that being a dick is a blatant indication of insecurity?
personal preference counts for a lot.
but there are plenty, and i do mean plenty of attractive, nice people. i see wonderful women being treated like shit by 'cocky' or 'alpha male' or 'player' or fucking prom king or whatever other name you have for the repulsively insecure & disgustingly image-sated individuals who gain some personal assurance from being COMPLETE FUCKWITS at every opportunity. i've helped hide bruises on women's faces, and i will not see it happen again.
for the girls who are into assholes - best of luck. be it a 'project' boyfriend who you'd like to change, a really 'hot' guy who you wanna fuck, or even someone who you really love. best of luck, because you're going to need it. and remember, he won't look so hot or act so cocky when you're 50 - although i guess maturity strikes late for some people...
nice guys win, we just don't tell anyone about it :)
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Dr Suess.
I feel like a lot of people are missing the point. Sure, its obvious that confident men are going to be more successful with women, because they're going to try more, ask for more dates, than shy guys.
But there's still a tendency in women to become involved with, and stay involved with, assholes. And I don't mean asshole as in confident, overconfident, arrogant, conceited. I mean asshole as in violent, abusive. As in getting her to work as a prostitute to support his drug habit, while he sexually abuses her two year old son. With all his friends. Why does this happen? Why do some women always end up in that sort of situation, and never with the nice guys (whether arrogant or shy)?
Another point (somewhat sideways to the main topic): it seems like almost everyone in this thread is operating from an assumption that women are there to be pursued, and men to do the chasing. Why is this? Why aren't more women making the first move?
 
this topic is already being discussed in another thread, called something like "why do women always go for the assholes" or something close to that.
But I will restate the point I made in that thread.
All people, no matter what their gender is, value things less the easier it is to get. In other words, if something is super-easy to get, nobody will value it as something that somebody had to work for.
People do not want somebody that is too available. "Nice guys" and "nice girls" come off as desperate--quick to smother a person with attention and fall for someone way too early on. This is not an attractive trait to anybody, males or females, gay straight bi whatever.
I do not think it is necessary to be a mean asshole and truly treat people in a rotten way (i.e. cheat on people, lie to people, etc.) in order to seem attractive, but you SHOULD seem somewhat elusive, not somebody that is always available.
-Aura
 
I'm going to say something that hasn't been said before.
I think women go for assholes for the same reason people go to scary movies, or on roller coasters: because it's thrilling. People like getting shook up. Why do people go to depressing movies? Because sometimes, you just want to be depressed. Why do people go to see comedies? Because sometimes, you just want to laugh. Nobody goes to movies, or on rides that make them feel like they "normally" do. Imagine how well this movie would do: Jack Pays his Bills and Goes to Buy Groceries. Yawn. Now, Jack Getting Captured by Terrorists, Tortured, and Finally Rescued by a team of Hot Female Commandos, that's entertainment.
Yes, women will continue to go with assholes, because deep down inside, they like getting fucked over. They like feeling *something*, they like the emotional roller coaster. Sure, it may hurt at first, but feeling pain is probably better than feeling nothing at all, and in the end they can go bitch to their friends about what dogs men are, bond with them, then go out to look for some more. So in short, women like being entertained, even if that involves their getting hurt. It's a rush.
Men are the same way, so don't think I'm picking on women. I like women who are a little--how shall I say--crazy. I mean that literally. here. Sure, they've got problems, but the adrenaline rush I feel around them, the sense of danger keeps me coming back for more. Between a nice, attractive, but bland girl, and an average-looking, but out-of-control girl, I'll usually go for the latter.
 
i'm just strange. assholes get nowhere with me. in my opinion, it doenst matter what they look like or anything, as long as they're a nice guy.
But! speaking from sterotypical point a view girls do tend to go for assholes. its somthing about being afraid to be content and happy. maybe fear of boredom? who knows...
 
I hate to sound not only trite but also cliche. Nice guys always finish last. Girls all fall for the asshole that treats them like shit. Why? I have no fucking idea. I myself use to be a, "nice guy." Not anymore. It sucks & is offten difficult but I have to act like a dickhead to attract the attention of the opposit sex. In my experiences women like & fuck assholes. They reserve nice guys as friendship material. But as I get older I see them starting to see the light...
 
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