Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

[Spider Rob]

Some women out there can be manipulative like that, you don't think thats true?Go and see a dr phil programme called 'golddiggers'.Not all women are like that though obviously, but it does explain a few things.

they are all capable just a matter of how much $ at stake, or sometimes they do it just out of sheer spite.

I guess its kind of like all of us men are capable of rape

"...we all know that as long as a smiley face is added after something, that makes it okay." ~ randycaver

 

[-PSychiK-]

As soon as a guy starts to show asshole symptoms, i run a mile.

I used to be the opposite..... but i think i have had my fair share of assholes now. I can suss out a asshole a mile away now! Its great. A good skill to have, really.

 

[SmC]

they are all capable just a matter of how much $ at stake, or sometimes they do it just out of sheer spite.

I guess its kind of like all of us men are capable of rape

"...we all know that as long as a smiley face is added after something, that makes it okay." ~ randycaver

In some cases you may be right, but a majority of the time, it is out of deliberately being selfish from what i saw from that dr phil programme. Those women used the excuse that men don't spend enough on them so they go and do that, the sad thing was Dr Phil just looked amazed and didn't bother to challenge them on anything.Also they actually had soemone on there which was a woman giving them advice on how to be a golddigger, like its ok or something.I'm not saying the men they're taking money from are any better, but this shouldn't happen.Its probably got something to do with women being payed less than men having thought about it.

 

[SmC]

As soon as a guy starts to show asshole symptoms, i run a mile.

I used to be the opposite..... but i think i have had my fair share of assholes now. I can suss out a asshole a mile away now! Its great. A good skill to have, really.

Your right. It is a good skill to have, it's something that most women don't have from the looks of things.

 

[-PSychiK-]

No matter how bad your experience may be with another.... instead of getting down and losing my self respect, i try to take into great account what i have learnt from the experience.

Because no matter what the experience may have been ... you would have learnt something. Good or bad, you would have. What it comes down to is whether the indevidual actually payed attention to what they had learnt.... and whether that put it to good use.

 

[-PSychiK-]

Another thing i want to add hehe, is that why women end up with the assholes is also because it is usually the assholes who have the courage to walk upto us and charm us. Yes, they are so very good at that in the beginning... But yes, us women can be ...lets say oldshool. Traditional? Old fashioned however.... so therefore we tend to leave it up to the fella to approach us and start the conversation. Now it seems that it is mostly the assholes who have the courage to do this. Not ALL! I know you nice guys who do also approach are getting uptight now with what i am saying..... but mostly it is the over confident wankers who are able to approach us.

There have been times when i have found out through friends that so and so has a real thing for me.. and have for some time! But are too scared to approach me and show me how they feel because they are too shy ...

I remember thinking things like "Oh for sucks sake! Just come talk to me... it'll give ME a chance to flirt " Because i myself are one of those females who likes to leave it to the guy to approach me. Though .... it is not a good way to be, as to why i have had such fuckhead boyfriends in the past.

So the point to my post is to encourage you nice guys to have more confidence in yourself! Not all of us want the assholes!! I thankfully have started seeing a reallllllly nice guy .... and that is because i sent out the signals, and he built the courage to do something about it Now this is someone who thinks all nice guys finish last also, who has been hurt and thought they never had any luck with girls.

So in a nut shell: Dont.be.scared!

 

[Spider Rob]

a chance to flirt =
OFTEN, i did not say ALWAYS, female code for f*ck with some guy, usually resulting in eventually many non-assholes becoming such

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

a chance to flirt =
OFTEN, i did not say ALWAYS, female code for f*ck with some guy, usually resulting in eventually many non-assholes becoming such

Not denying that some girls are just blatant teases... but on the other hand, why is it that guys can't just enjoy some friendly flirting without it always having to lead somewhere? It seems to me to be a nice, free, mutual ego-boost for both parties. It's a natural way many girls interact, without even trying to.

Why must you leave a situation in which you've flirted, exchanged a bit of mutual appreciation but NOT gotten laid, with such a negative attitude? Is it *all* result-driven? I think many women enjoy this kind of interaction just in itself... I don't think they believe they're starting some kind of process. It's just a fun, social, pleasant way to connect with your fellow human being.

This part of the male persona perplexes me. Is everything always, always, leading to sex in your minds... ?

 

[Spider Rob]

well, uh oh since I have been out of circulation for TEN years. I dont know, but I was hoping for a 'just talk' response like yours, cuz maybe you could explain why women do not want to talk to married men, could it be cuz likely 'leads nowhere' and I can assure that my future ex-wife did not want me talking to any attached women.

 

[Shnouzerpuff]

Not denying that some girls are just blatant teases... but on the other hand, why is it that guys can't just enjoy some friendly flirting without it always having to lead somewhere? It seems to me to be a nice, free, mutual ego-boost for both parties. It's a natural way many girls interact, without even trying to.

Why must you leave a situation in which you've flirted, exchanged a bit of mutual appreciation but NOT gotten laid, with such a negative attitude? Is it *all* result-driven? I think many women enjoy this kind of interaction just in itself... I don't think they believe they're starting some kind of process. It's just a fun, social, pleasant way to connect with your fellow human being.

This part of the male persona perplexes me. Is everything always, always, leading to sex in your minds... ?

For a lot of women it is all about the journey. For a lot of men it is all about the destination.

 

[Spider Rob]

journey/destination, all that changes once married or kids, think both is likely lethal

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

well, uh oh since I have been out of circulation for TEN years. I dont know, but I was hoping for a 'just talk' response like yours, cuz maybe you could explain why women do not want to talk to married men, could it be cuz likely 'leads nowhere' and I can assure that my future ex-wife did not want me talking to any attached women.

Well I can assure you that I still flirt with attached men, with the purpose of it leading nowhere Well not nowhere, because you both get a kind of mutual glow of knowing you're attractive to the opposite sex. And I have a boyfriend myself... and both of us engage in this kind of behaviour with each others' consent ... maybe we are oddities. But as far as the psychology of it all goes: I really don't think women flirting necessarily intend it to lead somewhere, and that men should take it as a compliment, but not an instant green light.

Spider Rob: goddamn man, you don't get to flirt anymore???? You poor thing. I need to have a word to your wife

 

[Spider Rob]

hey, i am pretty sure a green light aint really a green light, its more like, yes means maybe, and no means, why should I?

 

[SmC]

Another thing i want to add hehe, is that why women end up with the assholes is also because it is usually the assholes who have the courage to walk upto us and charm us. Yes, they are so very good at that in the beginning... But yes, us women can be ...lets say oldshool. Traditional? Old fashioned however.... so therefore we tend to leave it up to the fella to approach us and start the conversation. Now it seems that it is mostly the assholes who have the courage to do this. Not ALL! I know you nice guys who do also approach are getting uptight now with what i am saying..... but mostly it is the over confident wankers who are able to approach us.

There have been times when i have found out through friends that so and so has a real thing for me.. and have for some time! But are too scared to approach me and show me how they feel because they are too shy ...

I remember thinking things like "Oh for sucks sake! Just come talk to me... it'll give ME a chance to flirt " Because i myself are one of those females who likes to leave it to the guy to approach me. Though .... it is not a good way to be, as to why i have had such fuckhead boyfriends in the past.

So the point to my post is to encourage you nice guys to have more confidence in yourself! Not all of us want the assholes!! I thankfully have started seeing a reallllllly nice guy .... and that is because i sent out the signals, and he built the courage to do something about it Now this is someone who thinks all nice guys finish last also, who has been hurt and thought they never had any luck with girls.

So in a nut shell: Dont.be.scared!

Nice post. I personally like girls to approach me, makes me feel more relaxed.Though i'm not scared to do it the other way like i used to be, thankfully.