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Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

nice guys

Do nice guys truly lose in the end? It always seems that girls fall for that guy who treats them like dirt. Not saying that I have lost hope or anything. My relationships always end on the sour note and they always seem to fall for that "player" guy. Any answers?
 
no- no answers- thats life, and it sucks
I've been with more players than not- dunno why.
Keep your head up- your girl will come, in the meantime, continue being a nice guy :)
Peace! -Tara-
 
^
That's the typical, "I sure as hell won't go with you, but I'm sure someone will" attitude.
What girls don't understand is that if everyone takes that attidude, then who's left for the good people?
Exactly.
 
i've said it once and i'll say it again...
if you wanna be nice, you just gonna be screwed from every angle. it doesn't work.
just be bit of an asshole and you'll be on top.
*honesty
*openess
*sensitivity
*kindness
*being nice
those are all things i keep hearing about from women, and those are exactly the things you gotta forget about if you wanna get anywhere with women.
Disclaimer: The above is not true for all chicks, but it does seem to apply to most situations.
 
"Nice guys" are unassertive cowards.
"Assholes" don't care what people think of them and enjoy asking for what they want.
That is why the so-called "assholes" tend to get what they want, while the so-called "nice guys" usually end up sitting on the back-bench.
Leave that garbage about "playas" out of this discussion, it's a red herring.
Play around with the semantics all you want, but consider your question answered! ;)
[Sorry to be harsh....but uh, I am not a nice guy, so why would I mince words?]
 
I AM a nice guy, and I have to go along w/ C22. Nice guys never get what they want unless they get the balls to go after it - ask for what you want, use your charm and go for it. You may get shot down but you won't know (and will never succeed) if you don't try. You don't have to be rude or arrogant, just have some confidence (or at least fake it to break the ice) and know the right ones are out there - I've found a couple ;) .
 
yeah, sorry but I usually think that "nice" guys are lame. "Assholes" are usually really hot, and cocky, and outgoing, and dominating, and have big cocks...but there is a common ground b/w "nice" and "asshole" Right now I'm dating a guy that is really nice, and not lame at all!!
I think the older you get the more you'll find women that aren't just looking for a cocky bastard, but someone to hold them and share feelings, etc...
I've noticed that guy+confidence=asshole, I don't know why that is...
eh, this post was lame and it probably didn't help you at all. maybe I'll be more helpful when I'm not so hungover
 
HAH.. I guess the general concensus is: find the middle ground and have a bit of confidence. Yes it was a lame topic but oh well. It stirred a little bit of conversation.
BTW.. That whole idea about your nice and im sure you will find someone is total BS!! I usually take a yes or no with no BS response.
peace
 
I think the older you get the more you'll find women that aren't just looking for a cocky bastard, but someone to hold them and share feelings, etc...
Very true. As we women get older, we grow out of the asshole-fetish. I know this isn't that consoling (b/c it sucks in the meantime), but there is hope...
Btw, the bit about many nice guys being 'weak cowards' is rather true. I don't respect a man that I can walk over, or a man who doesn't have the guts to pursue me. Confidence and being assertive are key. And you don't have to be an assole either -- you just have to be independant and able to stand up for yourself and others.
Click to expand...
 
the coward thing is absolutly true, and i'm a perfect example of that.
goin out with my friends, i used the get laid a lot. we'd all get drunk a bit, start dancing with chicks. grab one by the ass and ask her if she'd like to go for a walk. then just get fuck out of her and never think of her again.(not that she'd want me to call or something)
unfortunatly, when i'm in love its not as easy.
first of all, i can't fall for a girl during a relationship, cause i can't stand being with girl i dont really like, for more than 2 weeks. also i find it very hard to fall in love. I really gotta be friends for a fair while.
therefore i'm in a situation, where i'm fairly inexpirienced in matters of "real" love, plus i've got a friendship that could be ruined and being rejected is not as easy to take, when you are all in love.
i gues it comes down to being able to be with someone, you dont really have strong feelings for. that way you can act like an asshole, until you find one you like. have tons of 3week realtionships, have fun and get the one you like.
at the end of the day i'm just a wanka, and thats why i fail.
 
yep...
nice guys sleep alone....yep, it's a fact....and, unfortunately, i happen to be one of the nice guys....lost the greatest woman in the world this past fall....and guess what
she ended up moving in with an asshole - never know why...but it happened
but hey, i've talked to girls that have dumped a good man - opting for the 'player'....and you know what, sooner or later they get 'played'
makes you think, don't it....ladies, quit frontin and be honest with your good man....
it's all about communication, for real
one love,
airon later
 
Self serving excuse making BULLSHIT! sums up most of this thread.
There's some good stuff there though. If girls want any respect from me at ALL in general, stop talking so damn intelligent about "oh, I don't know why but I do tend to date assholes but I really like nice guys way more" and how bout you stop fucking talking and DO something.
There's also some confusion about what a nice guy is. I'm not shy, I'm a pretty forward, assertive guy however I'd like to THINK I'm nice and caring and all that shit.
I don't have too many problems.
I think both sides should stop just TALKING about the problem and do something about it. What Kyk said was right. You're all too damn complacent about it all.
Get off your collective asses and ACT.
-plaz out-
 
From the point of view of the "Nice Guy":
Asshole - Any guy capable of actually pursuing a woman as an object of desire. Any guy routinely successful with women.
From the point of view of the "Asshole":
Nice Guy - Any guy who believes that friendship and respect alone should make one desirable. Any guy unskilled enough to be trusted as their girlfriends "confidante".
Stop blaming "assholes" for understanding women better than you do.
 
thats what i meant...
they're not assholes as such. they can be good blokes and really lovly and all. it just that they dont get to emotionally attached streight away, and therefore have the ability to behave like an asshole if it serves their purpose. simply cause they don't have nothing to lose.
Asshole vs. nice guy is not what its really at, its simply about who's got the most ability at fucking with a chicks head.
I personally am trying to use these techniques that would be associated with an "asshole", and i'm finding them much better than honesty and shit.
just to clarify further, i use the term asshole, cause thats what chicks always complain about. In my eyes you're all hero's and i'm working on becoming one myself.
 
Wait a second! Some of you guys are blaming the girls for this? 8)
Here's an example: Let's say Guy #1 and Guy #2 are graduating from college and both will be needing jobs. Employers are looking to hire someone, but if there are no good people available they will pass. The employers aren't desperate, after all! Guy #1 goes down to the placement center, fills out a card....and that concludes his job search! He figures employers will know he is graduating and will be impressed with his 3.8 GPA. Guy #2 goes to the career center, chats up the people at career fair, networks with alumni, sends out resumes, calls people on the phone to ask for help, etc.
Guy #1 ends up getting maybe two random calls a semester. Guy #2 interviews with 20 companies, gets four offers and manages to find a plush job. Guy #1 thinks about the injustice of how Guy #2, with his measly 2.9 GPA, got four offers when he didn't receive any. Guy #2 is hogging all the good offers, Guy #1 exclaims! In the mind of Guy #2, however, he never thought of it as a competition and didn't do anything unethical during his job search. People skills and determination are just as important as GPA, Guy #2 says to himself.
So that is the deal with this nice guy vs. asshole thing. How dare you so-called nice guys turn this around and blame the girls? How many girls have you asked out in the last two months? No wonder you are alone. Just like Guy #1, busy with classes during his last semester, figuring that employers will find him when they are ready.
Guy #1 thinks it is all Guy #2's fault that he didn't get a job. Honestly, Guy #1 is lucky to even get Guy #2's leftovers. Sometimes employers just desperately need someone, and that will be the only kind of "can't miss" offer Guy #1 gets.
I'll go even further. This talk of girls eventually growing up and liking the more mature, sensitive guy....guess what? It is because today's so-called assholes evolve and change into more sensitive guys. Girls will pick the reformed asshole over you again, so you lose both times! You will always get left behind until you stop acting like unassertive cowards.
 
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