• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

^^^ It may seem like it's not true, but for the most part it is.

turtles21400 said:
An Ode to the Nice Guys
I posted this in a thread last night but it applies here too so read and enjoy! ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks we appreciate it. Seriously most people don't realize that being a nice guy isn't always easy. I bite my tongue a lot when dealing with "some" girls.:p I just want to slap them, but that wouldn't do any real good. Just make them mad at me.:\
 
Qanan said:

Woman dont want to be in a club where they are welcome as a member.

But woman fall into the same trap, same abusive relationship and it ends the same way with them being played. Instead of learning they fall back into the asshole trap time and time again. Its not the fault of the nice guys, they are just being who they are. Its the fact that woman can barely look at themselves in the mirror and not feel adiquite.
Click to expand...

Bitter much?

Hell, I definitely fall into the nice guy category (if we're constructing it as nice vs asshole or nice vs confident or whatthefuckever) but your comments seem overly bitter and cynical, even to me.

Thing is 'nice guy' and 'asshole' are too simplistic - as someone has said, there are more than two types of men out there - and equally (this may be a shock) we are capable of changing our behaviour over time....
 
^^
I agree, I think there is a huge grey area as with anything... but it's a whole lot easier to lump people into one or the other.

I've witnessed a few change overs from both sides so it does happen but I think most of the time it's more likely for a bad boy to go good than the other way around... though I'm not a guy so I don't really know.

What do you all think?? ;)
 
Hmm, i'm going thru a stage like this with a girl i've known for about 4 years. The amount of times i've seen this girl get fucked around by the same guy, is countless. At one stage I had feelings for her, and when I asked her out she said she wanted to get back with this other guy. Well, 2 years later, still hasn't woken up to his shit, & will keep continuing to get hurt until she realises that he's an asshole.:\
 
the age-old question

ok -

im asking this in an honest-to-god, not-trying-to-rant way:

why do girls like douchebag guys?

again, i want honest answers.

thanks,
shea
 
Most of the girls who like douchebag guys are probably douchebags themselves.
Or maybe they're not REALLY douchebags, but we label them as such because we're jealous that they get more action than we do.
Either way, they win. :(
 
Here is the bottom line: Most people - and especially most women - have low self-esteem. When a guy treats a low-self-esteem woman well, she thinks there's something wrong with him. After all, he doesn't even realize how worthless she is (i.e. how worthless she believes she is). So she instantly loses respect for him, and finds him boring and unattractive. When a guy treats the woman badly, it feels right to her. He must be someone desirable because (1) he understands that she's not worth treating well, and (2) he doesn't waste any of his valuable time, energy, and money treating her well because he has other things going on in his life that are more worthy (including other women). So she responds by being interested, excited, and "on the hook."

Another factor is when a woman has poor relationship with her father. Without delving too deeply into the psychodynamics of this, if her father was abusive emotionally or physically, it's common/normal to fall into a pattern of trying to repeat the behavior in the hopes of finally getting what she really needed from her father when she was young. If a man treats her well, she will find him boring and have no interest, because it doesn't offer her any opportunity to fix the problem. It's unfamiliar. She can't process it. If a man is abusive to her, she is instantly excited. Not only is it what she knows, it gives her the chance to finally get that love and respect she never got from her father. This is so, so exciting to her. The trap is that she cannot, and will not, ever replace that love. The hole can't be filled. If the abusive guy stays abusive (which happens most of the time), she will continually be attracted to him in the hopes she will finally change the result and get love. But if he changes and loves her, it won't feel right. It won't be fixed. The hole will not be filled. So she'll dump him and look for the next guy that treats her abusively.

These feelings and responses can be unconscious and be just as powerful (more powerful, really) a motivation than conscious motivations. Most people do not understand how they, themselves, work.
 
hey shea....i merged your post with one i brought from the archive

there's mooooore than enough to read through and see how everyone thinks :)

My take is that most women don't like men like that. We remember the ones that seem to because it stands out in our memory and just confirms what we feel is true. Also, I do think we like men that are confident and can stand up for themselves to whoever. This doesn't mean violent, or rude, or overreacting to people. I don't like boring or wishy-washy or a pushover, and so many people are equating that with nice, which I just feel is wrong.
 
Great insight Jonny.

Now we just need to develop a process to mark these baggage-ridden girls as potential mindfucks - Preferably something on the forehead that says, "Beware! My subconscious owns my attitude towards you."
 
I wouldnt say I like TOTAL assholes... hehe but some could debate that.
Im a very very bossy person, have a loud attitude and if im with a pussy.... (oh yes i suffered 4.5years with one) all im gonna do is walk all over em.
Why? Because I can.
Its boring.
I need a boy to keep me in line and not take my shit cause a lot of the time im unintentionally bossy and extremely pushy, thats just my nature, if i didnt have an asshole, Id prolly upset my partner more than i think I do.

So thats my reason for choosing guys who have a bit of an asshole streak in them....

I also think its kinda sexy... I like a man being in charge. Guys with no balls shit me.
 
Johnny1, that is very interesting.

can the pattern ever be broken tho? it sounds like a vicious circle..
 
I tend to always go out with guys who end up never having time for me. I always have time for them! And then i have guys who have all the time in the world for me and i'm never interested. go figure :\
 
<<Here is the bottom line: Most people - and especially most women - have low self-esteem. When a guy treats a low-self-esteem woman well, she thinks there's something wrong with him. After all, he doesn't even realize how worthless she is (i.e. how worthless she believes she is). So she instantly loses respect for him, and finds him boring and unattractive. When a guy treats the woman badly, it feels right to her. He must be someone desirable because (1) he understands that she's not worth treating well, and (2) he doesn't waste any of his valuable time, energy, and money treating her well because he has other things going on in his life that are more worthy (including other women). So she responds by being interested, excited, and "on the hook.">>

I don't necessarily believe that; nevertheless, I have to admit that that's the most interesting hypothesis about male-female relationships I've seen in a long, long time.
 
no thats not true! I have confidence in myself and like who i am and i KNOW i'm worth the time and effort! It's just not fair! *pout* :(
 
Women like assholes because they dont work on logic. I mean, who in their right mind would want to be with someone that treats them like shit?

It is either
A) thats the only way they have ever been treated by men, or
B) they're stupid.

I will be an asshole right now and not apologize for what I just said. So many women are just dumb bitches (especially when they are pretty). Notice I did not say ALL women are dumb.

I don't care if you think I am a male pig, honestly I don't give a fuck. I have been through one too many experiences where the women took the stupid choice.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top