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Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

I think it just depends how you view things..if you're in a relationship or pursuing a female and think "Oh this may be the last love I ever get", or "I will never find anyone else like her!!" then you'll get really attached..bad.

If you just act like whatever, if the relationship were to end tomorrow I wouldnt care anyway...a woman knows this and responds positively because she knows that if she screws up you could just dump her in two seconds flat and find someone else.

I think the best way is to just try and bring as little 'feelings' into it as possible..act like you're not in love, dont show emotion..be a bit of a rock for her..after all, girls are so emotional i think they have trouble finding emotional guys easy to get along with, I think they just want someone easy going who will be yes or no ..

anyway..
 
personally, i think you should just be yourself. if a woman doesnt want you for who you are, it wouldnt've worked out anyway.
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That's a lovely way of avoiding any responsibility for ones failure to attract a mate.

Your personality is not written in stone. You can make the decision to change - to become somebody who is more appealing.

Most people seeking advice don't need to hear "Just be yourself" - being themselves has usually left them alone and frustrated. "Just keep doing what you're doing" is a sure way to continue that failure in the future.

What they need to hear is it's time to change... to learn to dress well... to treat women in a way that stimulates them... to take up hobbies that not only enhance their life, but change how others perceive them...

Women won't change what they find attractive to suit you.

And what's with all the negativity surrounding the art of seduction? It's not "game playing" to pursue somebody.
 
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syntech said:
^^
if u dont give urself the opportunity by believing that u will one day, then of course u wont.
the only thing that ever stops us from doing anything is ourselves.
think about it.
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I know but I don't know how to work through it...:\
 
Long as I'm on the soapbox, don't hide talent.

Can you draw or paint? Don't be afraid to put your works on your walls.

Can you play an instrument? Can you write music? Show it. Although I play music primarily for myself, I have no problem playing and singing in front of others - and I've been asked out three times as a result.

Do you speak more than one language?

Do you have a knowledge of wine?

Show off your talent. As long as your peacocking isn't at the expense of somebody else, that is. If you are extremely knowledgeable about electronica, for instance, introducing people to truly standout music is good. Commenting how somebody's clueless because they don't know the difference between DNB and jungle is not.

Just make sure you don't come of as conceited.
 
Originally posted by Petersko
Commenting how somebody's clueless because they don't know the difference between DNB and jungle is not.


since when is there a difference between DNB and jungle?
 
I understand completely, it sucks especially when all the girls see you as friend material. But as like you i haven't given up hope cause i'm a nice guy and by giving up you loose any way. Karma is a funny thing if you truly a nice guy the reward should be gratifying, I hope any way..... :\
 
I don't understand the mentality of some of these people, and how you can either call a guy nice or an asshole, is completely beyond me. Generally I just chat to girls, try to make a move, if they respond then great, if not oh well move to the next one. After I make a move, I generally see how things go, sometimes I get a relationship, sometimes I get fuck all. Anyway the moral of this story is girls love it when you treat them like shit, but some also love it when you treat them nicely. The ladder are the ones you want to marry, the others are just for fucking.
 
I gotta agree w/ Petersko. Change is inevitable. If you can't get results relationshipwise because you're preceived as "too nice," then it's time to change.

The truth is that women do love nice guys. If you're being brushed off by a woman because she says you're "too nice," she really means you're too boring. You can make all the right moves, but if you got a personality as flat as cardboard, you're not getting anywhere. You're going to have to change things about yourself that you may initially believe need no change.

First and foremost, get your self-confidence built up. If you're a boring nice-guy, chances are you're a pushover too, and being a pushover is a major turnoff. Nobody likes a person without a backbone.

I was in this position once. I was a boring pushover, the cookie cutter "nice guy" stereotype, up until my last semester of college and well into my military years. Maybe it was the drugs I did at the time along with getting sucked into a nightlife where I had to compete with my brother and my friends for women, or maybe it was going completely clean and leaving the nest, but I underwent a lot of personal changes. I still see myself as a nice guy for the most part, but not the doormat that I used to be.

Improve yourself. Strengthen your self-esteem, but always beware that there's a difference between brimming with confidence and outright narcissism, though I myself have yet to find the distinction. =D
 
Mysticalis said:
I gotta agree w/ Petersko.
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He will reward you for this with his evident omniscience.

...And if you're lucky, a list of numbers for the top 10 sluts in YOUR area. :D
 
He will reward you for this with his evident omniscience.
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Don't forget - omniscient means I know where you live!

Sorry if I come off like I think I know it all about women - I don't.

But until the age of 27 I was a virgin who never had a date, but countless female friends who confided in me.

100 lost pounds later, loaded with confidence, still a nice guy, and armed with all of the knowledge accumulated from whining women, I'm in an unusual position - I have lots of information from the enemy camp!

It was hard earned. Now 33 years old, I find myself being chased more often than my having to chase.

So my advice may not be the greatest for, say, the 18-year-old star quarterback who is banging everything in sight - but the average joe may learn something.
 
^^ Dude, i meant it as a compliment not sarcasm. (Maybe you're not that omniscient afterall) You're slowly but surely turning every male bluelighter's love life around until they appear that "strapping buck of a stud muffin" or whatever it was:D
 
Larr_E, like Petersko said, find something ur good at and flaunt it. i know its tacky but do u love urself? or even like urself? start to believe that ur worth it.

by this i mean, worth the effort another can put into loving u. and be comfortable with being alone. if ur happy just being u, u'll find someone who sees that and want to know why ur happy. as someone said earlier, be intriguing.

i know i'm no master when it comes to advice generated from personal experience. but i can say that part of the reason i love my boyfriend is cos i'm interested in all his opinions, even if they differ greatly from mine. and all the things that make him different from everyone else.

if u have faith in ur own tale to tell (for lack of a better way to put it) then u'll be attracting ppl in no time..

hope i've made some sense!!!
 
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