What is this silly distinction, so either you are an assertive asshole or a sissy nice-guy? WTF??
Im an assertive person, although rarely do I know what i want in life, when I do want something I get it, in whatever way possible. Im loud, crazy at times and will do things few would think of doing. This Sunday I went to the main posh church of Joberg, the service is televised, and I pitched up there barefoot, with a friend who hadn't slept in four days and was delusional(he was the only one who would go with me), and went up up the stage to tune the pastor that his religion wasn't good value for money and wasn't competitive on the market, needless to say I got hauled out by the ushers while my friend stood there giggling at people and telling them to stop pulling faces at him. So Im not shy...Usually at a party I'll throw myself in the middle off the crowd, and entertain everybody with my odd view on the world & perspective in general...Im an ex-kickboxer & skinhead, no I''m not a shy, string for a backbone nerd...but I consider myself a nice guy.
I am a nice guy, i don't put up false fronts of myself, If I like a girl i'll tell her, no playing hard to get or other bullshit, I'm not mean to women, I respect them and treat them like an equal, I'm courteous and considerate and would die before intentionally hurting a girls feelings. But I'm still considered a nice guy by girls, and usually the 'asshole' type is preferred over me. So, should I be MORE assertive? I've tried that route and only come across as a needy person, and that is always a turn-off. Or keep being the nice, friendly, extrovert that I am? I have little sucess with either way. Maybe it's because I like to become friends with a girl first, then make the move. Maybe it's because I say fuck the game, i like you, no playing around, girls want to be considered equals? Then they must stop messing around and go out on the hunt like guys, stop playing hard to get & make the first move every now and then. We live in a modern society but still go by old-fashioned dating rules. The does NOT have to make the first move, No the chick isn't doing you a favor or yielding to your advances, she either wants you too or she doesn't, no games...
There, now I've had my rant for the day..
Cheers, tylerD