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Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

last or hurt never a winner

i am a nice guy i always finish last and i never get the girl
i cant figure out why that is but i still try i am very confident
i ask girls out sometimes they say yes but mostly no
if im in a relationship it normally doesn't last that long maybe i try to hard or not hard enough don't know
i just know that i always end with a broken heart or a bent self esteem
any anwsers ladies im up for suguestions
 
i have found that most nice guys i know are incredibly boring and not very good at conversation. not to say that all of them are but that is just my personal experience. i am a girl that likes assholes and as much as i wish i didn't, im just usually not attracted to anyone but the arrogant dickhead and i find the nice genuine guy repulsive. The more i try to like the nice guy and hang out with him, the more he just annoys me and i end up not wanting him around at all. uugggghhhhh!!! sometimes i do the stupidest things!
 
yes nice guys always lose and if they dont they end up being pussy whipped and cheated on. simple fact.

good way to cure nice guy syndrome is to get really drunk at a pub/ club and go round cracking on to all the chicks until you find one that will go home with you, then fuck her and find a new one

sure its not the nicest thing to do but it helps with the confidence

if you cant beat em join em, dont fight the system.
 
nice guy? asshole?

i think these labels try and group way to many factors into a very narrow generalization. honestly, I've never met a person that I could call either one.

why not look past that shit and explore someone as a person, getting to know more about them than if they are often mean or nice. sometimes the seemingly nice, boring guy can really prove to be very confident and interesting if he only has someone to relate to.

then again, some people do just come across hopeless don't they?:)
 
Guys without confidence tend to be nicer to girls. Lame guys tend to be nicer to girls. Desperate guys tend to be nicer to girls.

Do we see a pattern?
 
Re: nice guys

CoolStick said:
Do nice guys truly lose in the end? It always seems that girls fall for that guy who treats them like dirt. Not saying that I have lost hope or anything. My relationships always end on the sour note and they always seem to fall for that "player" guy. Any answers?
Click to expand...

Don't ever change to accomadate women. I used to be one of those bad boy girls. But now I've fallen head over heels for a nice guy and i couldn't be any happier.

Some people have even compared my b/f to Ned Flanders. That's a bit extreme, but not really if we're talking about the pure friendly nature and openess to everyone.

My bestfriend had a hard time accepting his genuiness, off the bat she didn't like him and told me I was much too good looking for a guy like that.
But he's the sweetest thing ever.

The key is, always being you but holding back on the best of you until you think you've found someone who can appreciate it.
That means don't pull out all the stops for some chick you just met, don't trip over yourself to please anyone else. Just be friendly, courteous and when you know a girl really well, it's her actions that will make you want to do all that much more.

When you give a girl all your goods at once, or reveal too much too fast, she looses interest because there is nothing left to be curious about.

We're human - we are curious and the things that keep us curious keep our attention the longest.

:)
 
so much bitterness ;)

i've gotten my share of girls, i've missed out on a few choice ones.

i've been with sweet girls that wanna be bad, and i've been with bad girls who wanna be sweet.

what's the appeal?

i can be relatively nice, romantic, and witty.

i can also be an asshole.

keeps 'em guessing, but that's a bi-polar personality for ya ;)

truth is, when it comes down to it, most guys have no idea why a girl is attracted to them. could be the girl is horny (and if you haven't been clued in to the fact that girls are more sexual than guys, than that is your number one fault) just thinks you are good looking, nice (read: safe), and interesting enough not to be a bore, well-behaved enough not to turn the tables and hurt them.

it's all about taking it as it comes, and if you meet a girl you like, then pursue. you'll know if she's worth it, and she'll always have a hot friend if she's not ;)

Jon
 
Whining is unattractive too.

i am a nice guy i always finish last and i never get the girl
i cant figure out why that is but i still try i am very confident
i ask girls out sometimes they say yes but mostly no
if im in a relationship it normally doesn't last that long maybe i try to hard or not hard enough don't know
i just know that i always end with a broken heart or a bent self esteem
any anwsers ladies im up for suguestions
Click to expand...

I would suggest that the problem isn't that you're a "nice guy who always finished last" - the problem is that you just don't understand women.

As I said months ago, there are plenty of nice guys all over the world having sex on a regular basis. They're the ones who figured out that being nice and being sexual are not mutually exclusive.

Treating a woman as an object of desire and expressing interest can be done within the confines of a nice personality quite easily.

The day "nice guys" realize that women like to be treated like women is the day "nice guys" start getting laid.
 
Originally posted by Petersko
The day "nice guys" realize that women like to be treated like women is the day "nice guys" start getting laid.


so please, tell me how exactly women are supposed to be treated, because i must be doing something wrong...
 
When you meet a woman you find attractive, what do you do?

The "Nice Guy" - The nice guy will go out of their way to show how non-threatening they are. Usually that's because they feel if they come on strong they'll be rejected, but if they ingratiate themselves, the woman may "get to know the real me". Often if they compliment a girl they'll preface it with "I'm not hitting on you" or something similar. They show they are interested in what she has to say, while remaining sexually neutral. They'll ask to go for "coffee".

The "Jerk" - The jerk will flirt immediately, compliment without prefacing it, and demonstrate that they find the woman attractive. They'll ask her out in a way that clearly shows they are interested.

Notice that neither has demonstrated how much of a "nice guy" or a "jerk" they actually are. There's nothing inherently wrong with demonstrating attraction and interest.

The woman has been presented with two individuals. One reinforces her self esteem, stimulates her to "naughty conversation", and is clearly sexual. The other is a sexual neutral who wants to go for coffee.

Who interests her?
 
^^ That's actually quite true.

What a pity though that "The Jerk" (aptly named) - after he succeeds in winning your interest, quickly loses his.

I've now learned to be very wary of the smooth operator. The nice guy is always the best long term bet.


But you're right, the Nice guy could probably learn a bit about assertiveness. Sometimes it can be confusing. It's like; does he like me or what? Show me, boy!
 
i dont define a nice guy by how outgoing he is.
the 2 terms r very big generalistations. that said, to me a nice guy is one who doesnt think it necessary to treat a girl like shit to get her attention.

a lot of girls r willing to play those stupid head games and they might be the type that like the assholes. the type that lose interest once it is returned.

personally, ive always hated being anything but honest about how i feel. and its turned out the guy i love so much feels the same way about relationships.
 
Good qualities everyone looks for:
Attractiveness - eye candy, universal acceptance, pleasing
Interesting - edgy, doesn't quite make sense, something is intriguing
Stimulating - has something to say, provides "content" in our lives

- Everybody wants a partner who is very attractive, and this most often means we want someone more attractive than we are. However if we start dating them they might not be as satisfied with us.
- Everbody wants a partner who is very interesting, and this most often means we want someone more interesting than we are. However if we start dating them they might not be as interested in us.
- Everybody wants a partner who is very stimulating, and this most often means we want someone more stimulating than we are. However if we start dating them they might not be as stimulated by us.

In addition to all that, we all have long-term personal goals (marriage, family, lifelong debauchery) and then we have impulses. I may eat healthy and exercise but every now and then I get the whopper. Sometimes I get the whopper all week long. If I have the metabolism of a hummingbird I can get the whopper whenever the hell I want and not pay for it in the waistline. In the same way, if I am attractive, interesting, and stimulating enough, I can fuck around town all I want and never pay for it by losing out on long-term relationships and nice "sweet" girls. Most people have extremely short memories anyway; if it happened 5 years ago, it might as well have not happened at all.

The equilibrium is that life is quite boring; we're all sitting here on this little blue ball trying to come up with shit to do. The people that entertain us the most get our highest favor as potential mates. The best actors and entertainers also happen to be the best salespeople, and in relationships it's true to some extent that you're selling yourself. Nice guys who are otherwise attractive, interesting, and stimulating (a huge minority) are selling something valuable. The problem is they don't advertise as much, they aren't "in your face." Unfortunately, nice guys who are otherwise total assholes (a huge majority) and have nothing to give might not advertise either. Assholes who advertise themselves (a huge majority) may have nothing to give EXCEPT attractiveness and at least brief stimulation, and 2 out of three aint bad I suppose.

This is why almost all attractive stimulating people ( who may or may not be all that interesting) go through the "player" phase, because they CAN and there's no consequences. All the nice people they've been ignoring will still always jump at the chance to be with them if they show the nice person attention. It's why if gwyneth paltrow really wanted to date a guy, almost all guys would drop their girlfriends for her. Wow that's a lot of typing.
 
^^
if u dont give urself the opportunity by believing that u will one day, then of course u wont.
the only thing that ever stops us from doing anything is ourselves.
think about it.
 
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