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Who are you?

Thank you. I truly need this reminder sometimes. It’s so easy to lose touch with your spirituality when you are in active addiction. I miss the days when I could comfortably take psychedelics and ponder things like this. I have some amazing acid just sitting in my freezer but trying to plan a day to take it and also navigate an opiate addiction sucks. I always feel worried that I will come off to be kinda stereotypical to tie psychedelics and spirituality but they have definitely helped me along. Anyways, thank you
 
A bundle of flesh, transient and changing with everything else,

Of course a human man via definition and some evidence through our reality

But internally, an observation on top of a very strange perceptual ego,

my ego does love observing my body play music, funny piece of wood makes pleasant (or even better unpleasant sound)

Observing the body writing this makes me think I am a arsehole 🤣
 
Accept Uncertainty.


What if solipsism isn't a belief, but a temporary psychological state the mind enters when an old version of you is

dissolving ! Not delusion, not awakening, a transition, a mental identity shutting down so a new one can form. Not

losing reality. Just updating it.



Physical Grounding.
 
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I am ultimately a slave to my own poor decision making. I´m a cosmic fool that finds, every time I feel I´ve figured it all out, I actually know next to nothing. I am someone who has read Marcus Aurelius my entire adult life as if it were my religion. I lived a life that was so contrary to the author´s ¨teachings¨ and I believe that is why they fascinated me. Furthermore, the control described by the author´s philosohpy; in a way, I grabbed a hold of control of my own life by becoming a Heroin user. That is what I thought.

I´ve been cursed with guilt my entire life. Guilt drove me to become a teacher. I constantly had to shed whatever dark thing was attached to my soul. A day at school would be worth 10 points. Being high as a kite on Heroin and Amphetamines in front of High-School Children, minus 11 points. Go home, try to help people however I can through my work here on the forums, 1 more point. Then I struggle the rest of the day to find out how I can get another half a point and go to sleep feeling not only like a man, but like a man who cares for the world more than he cares for himself.

I used to think this was a quality that broke me; made me a worse person ultimately; drove me to use drugs and Alcohol. I eventually started trying to shed the drugs from my life. I had seen everything that Heroin could show me. I could see that this vast, emerald city that I entered every time I got high, was more like Dubai, a poor charicature of what happiness is meant to be. Once you explore every room of that city, you´re forced to admit that there is no El Dorado.

I feel we are all on this planet, in this reality, to do what we can for the world. for those around us. We are meant to live, be happy, love one another, experience rromance, pleassure, but always save enough of ourselves to give to those who need it. Instead, we have turned away from one another and become distant. Everyone is in it for themselves.

I am faced with a further reconnoitering of my own psyche. I´m now looking at the event horizon of complete destruction for myself. I considered myself in recovery. Now that finances are so hard, I´m forced to admit that I am still a slave to subatances. I have tolerated these things as they have enabled me to live and be free fom Heroin. Now, as these things become less secure, I´m forced to admit that I´m likely going to be swept away in the same current that is sweeping away all of the working poor right now.

I just hope that when I´m gone, the world will have been left with more than what i took from it. I always felt like I had taken too much. I always felt the guilt. I hope that I have left something good in this world.
 
When you read documentaries about the universe and realise that everything comes from the stars, including ourselves, I think: Hello, I am a knowing speck of dust.
 
Yesirree, BOB #11

We Call This Milestone In Man's Mined Path To Slack The Divine Emaculation Of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. It Transformed Him Overnight Into History's Sexiest, Most Sensational Religious Leader And Gave Him The Spiritual Know How To Handle Both The Curves And The Conspiracy. From Suave Ladies' Man (And Men's Man) To Hard As Nails Fighter, He Takes Daily Threats To His Life With Raw, Cold Courage And Can Mix It With The Best And Worst Of Rival Cult Leaders.

Although The Least Scrutable Or Approachable Of All SubGenii--And There Is Some Debate Whether He Even Is One--He Is By Far The Most Frequently Invoked Of All Our Unacountable Short Duration Personal Saviors. While He Doubtless Would Prefer To Remain An Anonymous Executive Shunning Public Policy Or Recognition, He Is Nonetheless Our Basic Model, The Archetypal Sub Genius Who Set The Anti Pattern Of Random Conduct We All Follow, If You Can Call That Following. His Are The Defects And Failures Which We Devotedly Preserve, Twist, And Distort For Future Generations. Yet He Remains A Mystery Man; The Only Photos Of Him That Exist Are Culled From Old Two Bit Magazine Ads For Which He Modeled, Or Grainy Frame Blow Ups From Grade Z Monster Movies In Which He Played Bit Parts. We Are Forever In Search Of Historic Dobbs.

Dobbs Is One Of Those Rate Adepts Who Walks On Earth Every Few Centuries, Those Ascended Masters Who See In A Far Greater Way And Can Unravel The Wavelenths Of Overlapping Realities, Treading Aether In The Cosmic Mid Oceans Of Higher Mentalities. As A Trance Medium He Is Unparalleled, Able To Spout At Will The Messages Beamed Into His Head From Vast Numbers Of Discorporate Spirits, Demons, Dearly Departed, Crazed Saints, Mystics And Conquerers Of Ancient History.


from The Book Of The SubGenius Foundation.
 
I am ultimately a slave to my own poor decision making. I´m a cosmic fool that finds, every time I feel I´ve figured it all out, I actually know next to nothing. I am someone who has read Marcus Aurelius my entire adult life as if it were my religion. I lived a life that was so contrary to the author´s ¨teachings¨ and I believe that is why they fascinated me. Furthermore, the control described by the author´s philosohpy; in a way, I grabbed a hold of control of my own life by becoming a Heroin user. That is what I thought.

I´ve been cursed with guilt my entire life. Guilt drove me to become a teacher. I constantly had to shed whatever dark thing was attached to my soul. A day at school would be worth 10 points. Being high as a kite on Heroin and Amphetamines in front of High-School Children, minus 11 points. Go home, try to help people however I can through my work here on the forums, 1 more point. Then I struggle the rest of the day to find out how I can get another half a point and go to sleep feeling not only like a man, but like a man who cares for the world more than he cares for himself.

I used to think this was a quality that broke me; made me a worse person ultimately; drove me to use drugs and Alcohol. I eventually started trying to shed the drugs from my life. I had seen everything that Heroin could show me. I could see that this vast, emerald city that I entered every time I got high, was more like Dubai, a poor charicature of what happiness is meant to be. Once you explore every room of that city, you´re forced to admit that there is no El Dorado.

I feel we are all on this planet, in this reality, to do what we can for the world. for those around us. We are meant to live, be happy, love one another, experience rromance, pleassure, but always save enough of ourselves to give to those who need it. Instead, we have turned away from one another and become distant. Everyone is in it for themselves.

I am faced with a further reconnoitering of my own psyche. I´m now looking at the event horizon of complete destruction for myself. I considered myself in recovery. Now that finances are so hard, I´m forced to admit that I am still a slave to subatances. I have tolerated these things as they have enabled me to live and be free fom Heroin. Now, as these things become less secure, I´m forced to admit that I´m likely going to be swept away in the same current that is sweeping away all of the working poor right now.

I just hope that when I´m gone, the world will have been left with more than what i took from it. I always felt like I had taken too much. I always felt the guilt. I hope that I have left something good in this world.
You can feel the guilt, and do something with it - letting it snow/bury you under, is not an option.

Apart from the fear of being "swept away" keep in mind how you are, what you are, what you have and what you can do. Respect yourself 💜

 
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