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When will I feel normal

so its may the 7th, i quit 40mg oxys daily for 5years on the 10th of march. so nearly 2months now.... im feeling alot better, i have alot of stiffness in joints, bit of fluid retention from being inactive for so long, but i find using an electric massage machine i have on my back of legs really helps... other than that i feel pretty decent... its defiantly weird getting back to what i believe is normal, without that kick of energy and that euphoric feeling.... all the best to everyone
 
I have not been on here for a few years but did not want to start another thread . I have tried and tried to stay clean but it just a rotation of wd and binges i have a few questions for some Americans i thinking of maintanace does subs stop the urge because i can get through the detox but not the paws that go on for months. Also my family having a trucking buisness in the states i have a class a license in California i got it at 18 could only drive in california until 21 my first licence could not get normal licence at 16 got drinking at 15 with crank when i moved to UK i got a hgv licence i love trucking i know in UK if you can prove you clean and the amount not effect driving ability there is a small chance you can carry on or so i heard what are the rules in california i cant find it online i wont stop trucking dont need to i have my own buisness in UK but i cant explain the love i have for trucks or lorry in UK
 
You sound like an ideal candidate for MAT (medically assisted recovery). Subs do work if used properly.
Ever tried kratom? It got me off a 10-year opioid addiction. I am dependent on kratom now, but it's a lot cheaper and less disruptive to my life.
 
yubacity said:
I have not been on here for a few years but did not want to start another thread . I have tried and tried to stay clean but it just a rotation of wd and binges i have a few questions for some Americans i thinking of maintanace does subs stop the urge because i can get through the detox but not the paws that go on for months. Also my family having a trucking buisness in the states i have a class a license in California i got it at 18 could only drive in california until 21 my first licence could not get normal licence at 16 got drinking at 15 with crank when i moved to UK i got a hgv licence i love trucking i know in UK if you can prove you clean and the amount not effect driving ability there is a small chance you can carry on or so i heard what are the rules in california i cant find it online i wont stop trucking dont need to i have my own buisness in UK but i cant explain the love i have for trucks or lorry in UK
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Hey!! Good to see you on here, I read through about 10 pages back from 2018 and was rooting for you. kinda figured you wouldn’t be on here anymore.. but I agree- MAT may benefit you. Kratom definitely could too, but like jasper said- it’s trading one for the other. 5000x safer though, is fentanyl not a huge problem there like it is here in the US?
 
Hey I have 9.5 months clean and sober. And I'm talking, the whole 9.5 months consecutively, no slips. This is I know: my best day using is worse than my worst day clean and sober. That's the honest truth.
 
Dsafdg said:
Hey!! Good to see you on here, I read through about 10 pages back from 2018 and was rooting for you. kinda figured you wouldn’t be on here anymore.. but I agree- MAT may benefit you. Kratom definitely could too, but like jasper said- it’s trading one for the other. 5000x safer though, is fentanyl not a huge problem there like it is here in the US?
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Never really come across it i get it from my pal who buys bricks so i get shit that is good
 
yubacity said:
Never really come across it i get it from my pal who buys bricks so i get shit that is good
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kinda simultaneously jealous and not jealous. heroin is over for me but whenever i hear about good shit that part of my brain fires, it would be disastrous for me to have a mate like that.

how have you been? have you managed to get a handle on the pregabs (iirc?) or whatever it was that was fucking your kidneys? really don't wanna be forced down the dialysis/transplant route, especially as with a drug problem you aren't a great candidate in drs eyes. how's the wife and kids?
 
chinup said:
kinda simultaneously jealous and not jealous. heroin is over for me but whenever i hear about good shit that part of my brain fires, it would be disastrous for me to have a mate like that.

how have you been? have you managed to get a handle on the pregabs (iirc?) or whatever it was that was fucking your kidneys? really don't wanna be forced down the dialysis/transplant route, especially as with a drug problem you aren't a great candidate in drs eyes. how's the wife and kids?
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The pregabs are under control 5 month taper and some diazepam made it a easy wd .

But the heroin now a slave to but it lets me function how are you mate. Kids are here they have 3 month vacation got a trial in sep
 
chinup said:
fuck mate.

seriously, get to that rehab. phone them and go ASAP, they'll almost certainly have room in the fancy bit.

i'm good. weirdly good. everything in my life is pretty great apart from having no luck so far conceiving.
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It can take time my friend me and my wife took us 3 years to have our first child then after that she popped out 3 more like a good catholic she is
 
Jabberwocky said:
And that makes you an expert how? Those are a dime a dozen, and most treatment programs still suck in the US.

If everything was true AND actually applied to me that I was told in drug treatment, I would have died a long time ago. I also wouldn’t be able to have gotten off methadone, learned how to meditate, stayed out of jail or ever accomplish anything like getting into grad school and getting straight As my first semester.

Once someone told me in rehab that the problem was I was “too smart for my own good.” Although I understand the good intention behind being told this, that wasn’t what the words they used communicated. What they communicated was I was fucked up and broken and had to submit to their way of small minded thinking, or else never recover.

When I shared that experience on BL, a much older and wiser member replied by basically saying, “fuck that, use the brain you are blessed with to help get your shit figured out.” In other words, your mind be your alley if only allow it to be.

That was way more helpful. Really epitomizes the difference between abstience based treatment in the US and what we do here on BL. As a general rule recovery industry ideology and dogma is not very useful.

It’s sad and ironic, but still seems to be incredibly true.
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I agree with this. I also went to an out-patient treatment program where I was told I was too smart for my own good. However, they meant it in a nicer way. They meant I had to stop overthinking things and just let things be that happened. However, the programme I went to had a very, very high treatment success rate (it's called the MATRIX programme and in Australia it was adapted for methamphetamine from crack cocaine in the US where it was similarly as successful.

Having spoken to friends in the US, it seems like pill mills have been replaced with all sorts of dodgy rehab centres. We don't have anything like half way houses/SLEs in Australia and I'm not particularly convinced that they're a good idea. I hear loads of stories about people using in them, and how if they get caught they basically get kicked to the curb into homelessness and the thing is, recovery has to always be a choice. It can never be something which is forced upon a person.

Rehabs say a lot of stuff that isn't true. Abstinence does not in fact work for the vast majority of substance dependent people. Harm reduction is the more beneficial way of going about treatment.

Abstinence works for some people, and for some I would recommend it as the more beneficial form of treatment. But for me harm reduction has always been more helpful.
 
yubacity said:
It can take time my friend me and my wife took us 3 years to have our first child then after that she popped out 3 more like a good catholic she is
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fuck mate i don't have 3 years, i'm fucking 36 and my medical history is not on my side.

though still good to know that you can have a long run of bad luck, and it just be bad luck.
 
chinup said:
fuck mate i don't have 3 years, i'm fucking 36 and my medical history is not on my side.

though still good to know that you can have a long run of bad luck, and it just be bad luck.
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It wont take you that long i was thinking adoption then i noticed thin blood vessels on jennys boobs i just knew she was pregnant
 
yubacity said:
It wont take you that long i was thinking adoption then i noticed thin blood vessels on jennys boobs i just knew she was pregnant
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ha i'll tell the boyf to keep an eye on my tits then, sure he won't be too upset with that.

i don't think adoption would work for me cos of my mental health history (there's shit on my medical records continuously since the age of 6 so i doubt i can claim i've healed) and drugs arrests. i dunno how desperate they are lol.
 
When I came off oxy.. Only smashed it for about, maybe 2-3 months. But I was doing 50-150mg a day with the odd crazy 300mg+ binge with friends while we all took turns vomiting and basically ODing but for fun. It was hard to know how much we were snorting tbh because we'd get so fucked up and not know if the powder was from an 80 or something weaker.

It all started because a friend died who had a gigantic box of oxy in various forms/sizes. The partner gave it to me and a friend and all 3 of us would abuse the shit out of it.

At the time I didn't know much about oxy or opiates. I didn't even know it was a sought after drug or that I had probably tens of thousands of dollars worth of oxy in terms of street value. I was just having fun getting fucked up and selling weed on my bike around town.

It made me extremely confrontational. Both good and bad. Met heaps of random people and made lots of connections. It made me feel very bullet proof. I'd happily start fights or give people the finger though. I was pretty out of control.

Anyway I ended up deciding I shouldn't get so fucked up on opiates and joined an army boot camp thing my govt runs for unemployed that went for a couple months. I was snorting oxy on the bus ride to the army camp. The first few days were really hard, but I just tried to meditate and we had a lot of distractions at least.

I didn't last at that camp, think I got kicked out at week 4. However I guess I share this because what I learned was it took about 2-3 weeks of eating really well and exercising, socializing and just being a healthy soul for me to get 'over' a mild opiate addiction.

I found the most difficult part was being chill. Just saying nothing when I really want to. My mind was hard to settle or just let things slide. But yeah after a few weeks maybe a month total I was basically back to normal.
 
chinup said:
kinda simultaneously jealous and not jealous. heroin is over for me but whenever i hear about good shit that part of my brain fires, it would be disastrous for me to have a mate like that.

how have you been? have you managed to get a handle on the pregabs (iirc?) or whatever it was that was fucking your kidneys? really don't wanna be forced down the dialysis/transplant route, especially as with a drug problem you aren't a great candidate in drs eyes. how's the wife and kids?
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Trust me, having access to pure pharmaceutical grade morphine/dope for iv doesn't make a person happy. Neither does pure cheap coke. It's a fucking curse rather than a blessing. Ughhh, I actually envy your clean life, girl.
 
chinup said:
ha i'll tell the boyf to keep an eye on my tits then, sure he won't be too upset with that.

i don't think adoption would work for me cos of my mental health history (there's shit on my medical records continuously since the age of 6 so i doubt i can claim i've healed) and drugs arrests. i dunno how desperate they are lol.
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Find out when you most fertile sounds weird do not know the medical word for it. I thought all the crank and coke made me shoot blanks
 
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