When will I feel normal

[yubacity]

Walking around Blue water shopping centre.I used to come here sometimes when I was on the gear.I used to look at normal people walking around and I would envy them.They did not have this massive weight around neck they not wake up feeling like shit.They did not need a drug to be normal.Now I'm one of them and it feels fucking good.My detox started first Saturday of February I had many relapses had to wd from lyrica but I have done it.

.

 

[EPL1]

You're the man Yuba.

Look at you now, you have come so far, I hope you are proud of yourself as I am of you!!!

I hope you and your lovely wife are having a great weekend!!!

Btw, how did your buddies detox go?

Love,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[yubacity]

You're the man Yuba.

Look at you now, you have come so far, I hope you are proud of yourself as I am of you!!!

I hope you and your lovely wife are having a great weekend!!!

Btw, how did your buddies detox go?

Love,
your friend,
Ash.

How you doing ash what did you get up to this weekend.My cousins detox went well.I said it before lyrica is a wonder drug for opiate wd but it worked for alcohol wd.By day 4 the doses were high but they worked.We had a night out last night we do it every Christmas.We wear Christmas jumpers and drink loads and loads of coke.He did the coke but not drink I did fuck all and was the driver.Im proud of myself yesterday I did nothing because I can't do coke if I not got brown for the come down.It was boring as fuck but I rather be bored then getting back on gear.My wife is going crazy with the Christmas decorations but she always does.Being honest I'm still finding it hard with all the spare time I find life pretty boring.My kids be here soon I miss them so much.Have a surprise for my wife got her a ticket back to states when kids go back.Think I'm strong enough to man up handle my shit here and get back to Yuba city by Feb.Once I back driving a truck I will feel better not working is doing my head in so boring not having a job.Before I leave we swap numbers.This situation still surreal on going to meet you in person for the first time but you proberly know more about me then 99 per cent of my friends I have known for years.Only my wife cousin my dealer mate you and rio plus bluelght know what i been through and 5he bits sbout my childhood.Keep well my friend enjoy your Sunday.

 

[EPL1]

Proud of you,

You're staying strong, good man. Must have been weird to be the DD for once hey? I totally understand the boredom you must feel, you are right, once you are back driving, you will feel better, not so bored.

Can't wait to meet you all, you have a lovely family and you're a good husband to your wife and a good dad to your children.

Anytime you want my contact info just ask.

Have a great Sunday too my friend.
Give my best to your wife,
Ash.

How you doing ash what did you get up to this weekend.My cousins detox went well.I said it before lyrica is a wonder drug for opiate wd but it worked for alcohol wd.By day 4 the doses were high but they worked.We had a night out last night we do it every Christmas.We wear Christmas jumpers and drink loads and loads of coke.He did the coke but not drink I did fuck all and was the driver.Im proud of myself yesterday I did nothing because I can't do coke if I not got brown for the come down.It was boring as fuck but I rather be bored then getting back on gear.My wife is going crazy with the Christmas decorations but she always does.Being honest I'm still finding it hard with all the spare time I find life pretty boring.My kids be here soon I miss them so much.Have a surprise for my wife got her a ticket back to states when kids go back.Think I'm strong enough to man up handle my shit here and get back to Yuba city by Feb.Once I back driving a truck I will feel better not working is doing my head in so boring not having a job.Before I leave we swap numbers.This situation still surreal on going to meet you in person for the first time but you proberly know more about me then 99 per cent of my friends I have known for years.Only my wife cousin my dealer mate you and rio plus bluelght know what i been through and 5he bits sbout my childhood.Keep well my friend enjoy your Sunday.

 

[yubacity]

Since my detox my sleep has never gone over 5 or six hours.At first I thought it's gonna take time but it now been quite a while since last relapse but no matter how tired I am I'm up 5 in the morning.It drives my wife mad because It wakes her up.

 

[EPL1]

RLS, Insomnia and depression were my 3 killers during wd's.

5-6 hours is better than jack shit but still not good enough. I hope that eventually levels out for you, it will, it took years of using for you to get to this point and now your body/mind/spirit are beginning to heal. I know that.

Well done my dear friend.

I hope you and your lovely wife have a great day!!! xo

Love,
Ash.

 

[yubacity]

RLS, Insomnia and depression were my 3 killers during wd's.

5-6 hours is better than jack shit but still not good enough. I hope that eventually levels out for you, it will, it took years of using for you to get to this point and now your body/mind/spirit are beginning to heal. I know that.

Well done my dear friend.

I hope you and your lovely wife have a great day!!! xo

Love,
Ash.

The insomnia was the killer for me.Your body is so tired and weak but the sleep just don't come it's what got me started on lyrica and the fuck up I had with that which followed.This site has made me realise how drugs fucked up my education.You structure your sentences so well.My post are one long piece you break yours up.I have to get my wife to teach me grammar again.How you doing ash what you up to this Christmas remember if you need any help let me know.

 

[EPL1]

Thanks Yuba that's kind of you to say,

I better have proper grammar and be able to perform basic letter structure, I was an English major. ; )



Basically when you are just writing to us on here, you would first address who you are writing to.

Then give your greeting sentence.

Then each new thought or topic gets their own paragraph.

And at the end you give a closing sentence and lastly you sign your name.


I can help you if you'd like.

Below are some examples for you to look at. If you have any questions just ask.

I will be having a quiet Christmas here. Maybe just make a ham, I have never made a turkey myself before. ; )

Are you and your wife good cooks? What are you doing for Christmas?

I hope this message finds you and your family well.

Love you guys,
your friend,
Ash.

The insomnia was the killer for me.Your body is so tired and weak but the sleep just don't come it's what got me started on lyrica and the fuck up I had with that which followed.This site has made me realise how drugs fucked up my education.You structure your sentences so well.My post are one long piece you break yours up.I have to get my wife to teach me grammar again.How you doing ash what you up to this Christmas remember if you need any help let me know.

 

[yubacity]

Thanks Yuba that's kind of you to say,

I better have proper grammar and be able to perform basic letter structure, I was an English major. ; )



Basically when you are just writing to us on here, you would first address who you are writing to.

Then give your greeting sentence.

Then each new thought or topic gets their own paragraph.

And at the end you give a closing sentence and lastly you sign your name.


I can help you if you'd like.

Below are some examples for you to look at. If you have any questions just ask.

I will be having a quiet Christmas here. Maybe just make a ham, I have never made a turkey myself before. ; )

Are you and your wife good cooks? What are you doing for Christmas?

I hope this message finds you and your family well.

Love you guys,
your friend,
Ash.

How you doing my friend hope your good.Ash don't get pissed of but I have a little confession to make.I have been lying to you since my cousin detoxed for booze.Im back on the pregabs.
I up to about 1200 to 1500 mg a day it has become a problem because I am now having conversations with myself when alone.Only my dealer mate knows he figured it out because I would not stop talking.Why the fuck have these pills got a grip if me so much I was never a prescription taking person.I will detox from them after the new year in not going to be a miserable fuck over Christmas.I can't wait to get back to the states where I have no access to these these fucking pills.Im sorry mate I know it's a revolving door with me but lyrica just make me feel so good I am energized feel so fucking good.I tried to get of them by taking poppy pods for a couple of days that stopped most of the wd but I can't keep taking pods because I will have a little rattle even after a few days of opium use.I am thinking of using pods for two days get my tolerance to lyrica down then do a quick 4 day taper.Im so sorry mate it's not as bad as a heroin wd but it's a depression that don't lift till day 6.Sorry ash I was meant to detox my cousin with them which I did but I could not resist taking them

 

[yubacity]

I was trying to get some benzos and have my wd now.Dont know what's happened in Kent can not get anything ni valis tamazies nothing.The friends that use benzos are keeping what they got which I understand.Gonna be making calls all day if that fails it will be pods for a couple if days.I know I said I get of them after holidays but I want to do it before it's always on my mind.

 

[yubacity]

Ash I don't want you to think I'm lying about everything the walking around Bluewater feeling good the sleep problems all true but I thought I can handle being around lyrica during cousins detox but I'm a knobhead

 

[EPL1]

Never worry about me. I am never going anywhere. I have your back always.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it was a temptation that you succumbed to that you are honest about and you're dealing with it.

I am proud of you.

Yes, just taper down again, no harm done ok? You can do this Yuba and I will always be here to help you.

Much love my dear friend,
Ash.

Ash I don't want you to think I'm lying about everything the walking around Bluewater feeling good the sleep problems all true but I thought I can handle being around lyrica during cousins detox but I'm a knobhead

 

[yubacity]

Never worry about me. I am never going anywhere. I have your back always.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it was a temptation that you succumbed to that you are honest about and you're dealing with it.

I am proud of you.

Yes, just taper down again, no harm done ok? You can do this Yuba and I will always be here to help you.

Much love my dear friend,
Ash.

Thanks ash that means a lot.I have just right now got in contact with a mates mate who is gonna sell me 20 2 mg xanax tablets for 2 pound a pop.I know absolutely fuck all if that sounds right.I will take them over a few days to control the anxiety I always get.It leaves the depression which I might or might not get it varies with lyrica.I done it for weeks and only got a mild wd it's a weird drug you never know what we you gonna get for me could be different for others.Thanks for understanding ash it now leaves my wife let's see how she reacts.

 

[EPL1]

Well you've done it before so you'll do it again. You got this.

No worries yuba, at all. Here if you need me.



your friend, always,
Ash.

 

[yubacity]

Well you've done it before so you'll do it again. You got this.

No worries yuba, at all. Here if you need me.



your friend, always,
Ash.

You said exactly what I feel I done it before and I'll do it again.If the depression comes I'll spend four days looking at the ceiling listening to gnr coma and aic nutshell on repeat.Fuck it I got myself in this mess again all this is because I helped a person I love detox

 

[EPL1]

Yeah, no harm done honestly. Onward and upward my friend. You got this!!

What are you and your wife doing for Christmas?


Hope you're having a great day and that you're not being all doom and gloom and hard on yourself.

You are a really great person and things are going to improve again. Know that.


Love and support my friend,

Ash.

You said exactly what I feel I done it before and I'll do it again.If the depression comes I'll spend four days looking at the ceiling listening to gnr coma and aic nutshell on repeat.Fuck it I got myself in this mess again all this is because I helped a person I love detox

 

[yubacity]

Yeah, no harm done honestly. Onward and upward my friend. You got this!!

What are you and your wife doing for Christmas?


Hope you're having a great day and that you're not being all doom and gloom and hard on yourself.

You are a really great person and things are going to improve again. Know that.


Love and support my friend,

Ash.

How you doing my friend what's going on.I have a lot going on this Christmas got kids wife's parents and sister down this Christmas.Also my dealer mate his son and girlfriend down for Christmas dinner as well.Stopped the lyrica but if I'm honest I had help.Did two days of poppy pods and Friday also smoked crack all day.Woke up Saturday f

 

[yubacity]

Woke up Saturday and felt jittery and had got some clonazepam think they call it klonipin in the states took a quarter of a 2mg tablet it knocked me out.So after chatting to you I did all that now feel ok don't think I was going to get a cluck from the lyrica anyway.Im quite cheerful despite my using because at 9 30 pm Friday I left my friends house and went home I could of carried on all night but as soon as he called on brown I thought no went home done some pods to level me out and went to sleep.I can't wait to leave England now as much as I love this country and my friends here I don't think I can stay clean here to much temptation hoping my dealer mate not find out about crack use.Ash you a women be honest what does my wife see in me.What can a women who lives

 

[yubacity]

Woke up Saturday and felt jittery and had got some clonazepam think they call it klonipin in the states took a quarter of a 2mg tablet it knocked me out.So after chatting to you I did all that now feel ok don't think I was going to get a cluck from the lyrica anyway.Im quite cheerful despite my using because at 9 30 pm Friday I left my friends house and went home I could of carried on all night but as soon as he called on brown I thought no went home done some pods to level me out and went to sleep.I can't wait to leave England now as much as I love this country and my friends here I don't think I can stay clean here to much temptation hoping my dealer mate not find out about crack use.Ash you a women be honest what does my wife see in me.What can a women who lives

Fuck knows what's happening keep a posting early.What can a women who lives a clean life see I a junkie like me.The holiday seems a long time away.Once in states I not get into the drug life I'm going make boring friends talk about cars semis or other bullshit just be a normal person

 

[yubacity]

If I go through this thread I do the same shit on repeat.I have said this before aswell I seem to remember.