Tonight...
I feel as though I’m on the verge of a breakdown.
I could write paragraph after paragraph about my obsession with building a career, a future, a better lifestyle, and a better-looking body, with going a step further then the person next to me, working that extra hour, with pushing forward a little harder then I probably need to.
I think I’m at the crossroads of a late manifesting type A personality and a quarter life crisis.
As a result I’ve been selfish lately. Maybe partly by design, mostly out of necessity. Time & emotional energy are a cherished commodity in my life and I’m not willing (or able) to give anyone very much right now. I don’t think it would be very fair for me to try to (to me or anyone else).
That said there is ‘someone’ around my life (I say around because we are two people with crossing paths that rarely have much time together). With one look she has the ability to allow me to forget everything else. I can’t say what will or won’t become of it; I don’t even want to think about that. So many things right now have expectations, conditions, and deadlines. I’m so happy with the things that ‘just are because they are’ not because I make them and not because they have to be.
Despite everything though I’m happy. I wake up in the mornings and I attack the day and when it’s done I (usually) know I used my time to the fullest. It’s a good feeling even on the nights were it feels like it might kill you.
I feel as though I’m on the verge of a breakdown.
I could write paragraph after paragraph about my obsession with building a career, a future, a better lifestyle, and a better-looking body, with going a step further then the person next to me, working that extra hour, with pushing forward a little harder then I probably need to.
I think I’m at the crossroads of a late manifesting type A personality and a quarter life crisis.
As a result I’ve been selfish lately. Maybe partly by design, mostly out of necessity. Time & emotional energy are a cherished commodity in my life and I’m not willing (or able) to give anyone very much right now. I don’t think it would be very fair for me to try to (to me or anyone else).
That said there is ‘someone’ around my life (I say around because we are two people with crossing paths that rarely have much time together). With one look she has the ability to allow me to forget everything else. I can’t say what will or won’t become of it; I don’t even want to think about that. So many things right now have expectations, conditions, and deadlines. I’m so happy with the things that ‘just are because they are’ not because I make them and not because they have to be.
Despite everything though I’m happy. I wake up in the mornings and I attack the day and when it’s done I (usually) know I used my time to the fullest. It’s a good feeling even on the nights were it feels like it might kill you.