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What's going on in your life?

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Well, the semester is wrapping up. This week is finals week, and it fucking sucks. I desided to work this summer instead of going to school, which will be a good change. I been going to school non stop since I got in college. I figured it was time for a well earned break. I guess everyone does it when they are in school, but I'm starting to wonder if my major is really what I want to do. I guess I am starting to worry that I'll finish school, go to med school, then fall in to the routine of life my parents are in: Get a good job, have kids, then look forward to getting off work so I can come home and sit on my ass. I really want to go see other places and stuff. I guess I just don't want to grow up yet, and its coming to the crossroads where I have to deside what I am going to do, and its kinda stressful. My brother is coming to stay the summer with me in about a week. It will be nice to spend some time with him agine. He left for school when I was 16, and except for christmas and when we roll togather every 4 or 5 months, I haven't seen him much. His fiance is usually with him every time I see him, so this summer should be really nice. Thats about it.
 
Last Monday night the guy that I've been dating on and off for 7 months (who I'm completely in love with) came over and we rolled together. That night I was able to tell him somewhat how I feel. I've been scared to tell him for months because I thought I'd lose him, but I think it may have actually made things better. We've been talking more. The whole night was amazing, and ever since I've felt like I'm floating on air. I've been feeling great about myself and everything in general, and really hopeful about what could happen with him.
Tomorrow is my last day of classes, and next week is finals. Then I go home for the summer. I'm a little worried about my grades, but hopefully I'll do well enough on my finals to boost them up. I'm looking forward to the summer. I know I need to get a job, and I hope to save up a lot of money and make new friends there. My parents also just told me that they're taking me and my brother on an eastern Caribbean cruise in a month, so I'm really excited and I'm so grateful to be able to do things like that. All in all, I think things are looking up for me. :)
 
I'm currently going to school for graphic design and I've been totally immersing myself in homework. I finished a bartending guide this week for one of my classes. I'm VERY proud of it.
I've also started an ultra strict diet & I started exercising again. Yay to that.
I'm really excited because I have a date with a new guy on Friday night. So far, he seems perfect, and I can tell that he likes me. :) I'm even getting my hair highlighted during the day Friday for the date.
Hummmmm. Other than that, not too much else has been happening.
Life is good. :)
 
I got a day off today to just sit around for awhile :) That hasn't happened in forever. Ive been feeling a little detached from BL because I never have time but, I have been sitting here the last hour reading. It's a great thing to know that all of the people I think about and got enjoyment out of there posts, are still here and doing great. There are so many special people on this board.
I am off to try and find a new job today. I have been feeling a little unappreciated at work lately, I work sooo many hours and make barely enough money to get by yet never do I even get a thank you for working 60 hours a week without a day off from my boss. I am sorry that I sometimes feel the need for people to show a little appreciation, it's nice to know that your hard work actually means somehting! Since mine obviously doesn't at this job I will find somewhere that it will while making more money and working less hours :) Or at least I hope I will...
I'm completely bored with life. I work and sleep. That's it. It isn't satisfying me at all. I work more to stay busy, but working just isn't doing it for me. I have no interaction with people my age and with the same interests at all. I need friends here :( Unfortunately I don't have time for that.
Life is good somedays and bad others, but that how it works isn't it? :) I try to make the most of it. Ive been working on being positive and staying positive, I tend to dwell on the bad things. Life is much easier with a positive outlook.
Im alone, bored, my BF is 8 hours away and I work too much but I am stil happy :) Life is good.
~LP
 
well my bf is leavin for the marines tomarrow. I feel like my life is over sometimes. Well im scared and lonley since now he has to leave me. Im young still but it still hurts even though people say im to you to have a real relationship.
Also im worried that i might be pregnet cause i had sex with him yesterday with out a condom. eh stupid me. I dont know what the fuck to do. I feel like my life in going down the drain.
The only thing that makes me happy in my bf, and now hes going to be gone. I have a feeling of a big depression coming over me. Well thats bout it i could go on but its nothin exciting to hear. ~amber
 
^^It seemed in your post that you aren't too fond of the idea that you might be pregnant. If it was only yesterday, you could always go get the morning after pill from Planned Parenthood, or you can order it online at www.ec4u.org . You can use that up to three days later and it will be effective.
Only informing. Take care.
 
The intriguing man is still there, a far away there, so it's difficult, but he still gets my mind reeling. I hope to see him in July, if not it won't be till August.
Summer classes have started. I may actually survive calculus! The ambition that I have for knowledge is still there, but it's taking on so many spiritual and emotional forms that it's *almost* interfering with my classes, but I'll come around. To go from a devout Christian to a hard-core atheist to where I am now - a sense of confusion wrapped in a million possibilities - well, it's been a hell of a year and a half. But I welcome the changes, I can always count on those to be there. I'm beginning to feel at a crossroads, and while it scares the shit out of me, I can't help but be excited. The waiting is killing me though, patience was never a friend of mine in many forms.
I miss so many of my friends. Distance is the one thing that I can't outthink most days, and I feel a void when they aren't near me. My heart is still full, because their love never goes away, but human touch is a powerful being. And there are so many hugs that are building up inside! One day...
 
Hmm, well my boyfriend went overseas for a year, and here I am 6 weeks later still waiting for him. I am so undecided with my life, that perhaps I should take a day to myself and sort out my mind. I want to change degrees (I'm half way through one now) but I'm getting conflicting advice from my parents. I know I dont want to do this anymore.
I am battling with winter weight - hehehe, or winter muslces as I prefer to call them, and it has only hit me now about certain deaths in my family that i ignored hoping to not confront them.
But all is on the up side,
 
i sleep all day, wake up at night to eat, check bluelight, go back to sleep
yeah, fun right?
 
I am glad to hear every one is pretty much doing quite well. I haven't been around this corner in a long time for I have moved back to NY and b4 that was in NC working ALOT! I now have no computer so I just try to get on here as much as possible. Though I miss BL soo much!
I am back in NY with my husband :) , those of you that know me, this was pretty much as much of a shock to me as much as I am sure it is to you! I never expected for it to happen but have come to realize that in all reality he is the one that has always been there for me and always will be.
LP had once asked me .... if I wanted to have a party life or be a wife?
Well, I have discovered I wanna be a wife, I am sick of all the drama and senseless bullshit that comes along with that social life. Justin has put up with soo much bullshit from me when it comes to drugs and partying ( for he had no part at all with any of it ) but yet in all the time, he has been there for me! I got addicted to meth this past winter and at first he pushed me away. Once I got my head on my shoulders and actually realy quit, for real, he was there to help me. To me before he was being an ass, but now I realize he just wanted no part of that type of life.
I will admit I am worrying whether this is gonna work out between us, but I really think it will this time. I have been back for almost a month now and we spend all of our time together. Before we didn't barely spend any time together. We are back at being best buds again! I have always known that I still loved him and that I always would but now realize that all this time I thought I was in love with some one else, I think it was just the fact of that person wanting to be there for me, for I had no-one. ( as selfish as that sounds )
I am back here in NY and now more than likely moving to Richmond within the next 2 months, my husband got a really good job offer there. :)
Today I am off to an interview in about 2 hours, so wish me luck!
I am bored out of my mind being back here, but am finally happier than I have been in a long time! :)
 
I've found that my signature fits me.
I AM the only source of pure disillusionment. Because damned if the illusions we create aren't the most painful to have shattered.
...and then we sleep, and pray not to dream.
[ 28 May 2002: Message edited by: Baron ]
 
so me and my love are back together in some form. We aren't exclusive, but he keeps asking me if I've done anything with anyone else. I haven't. Well, today an old fuck buddy of mine IMed me and asked if I wanted to fuck. My love was over here, but asleep when it happened. I told him about it. He told me I didn't have to tell the guy no. So I kept talking to the guy and he kept trying to convince me to fool around with him. I told him that nothing was going to happen. I said that I would like to see him though. he told me to give him my new adress (I moved not all that long ago) and he would stop by after work. I said okay...I really don't want to do anything with this guy if it's going to mess things up with my love, but my love says he doens't care. I think it's just a test. So I'm not doing anything with this guy tonight.
 
:) Hi all
I've started my job, it's part-time and I'm saving money for ...well a lot of things..but mainly for school which starts in September-I might start at the end of June but I have to see where I'm at. (I'm learning a lot of new things-and like the people a lot.
I'm very content lately. Living with my sister is still hard so I'm not home much, I can't wait to get my own place. The weather is amazing though, our neighborhood is coming together for parties and bbqs and Im finally tan.
I've been having interesting things come up in my life with people. Over the weekend, I met a group that sparked my interest...something unknown to me-all in all, I'm looking into experimenting in some rooms that I've never opened doors to...we'll see.
I had a great time with my friends this past weekend, I hadn't partied like that in a long time. Palm Springs was beautiful.
Other than that, still looking forward to the summer. I have to stay focused on my goal. yeah thats it :)
[ 28 May 2002: Message edited by: Sweetpea ]
 
^^^Pea, sounds like you're doing well :)
I am finally tanned too. I got to spend most of my weekend at the pool, relaxing, chatting, drinking beer, etc. :) I've been meeting some cool new people. They will never replace the ones who are leaving but I'm glad to have a larger circle of friends forming around me. I always love what new people can teach me. I've been much more social (yay!) and I'm exercising more. Must be the warmer, longer days. I'm finally out of hibernation! Work is a challenge, to say the least. It's a rollercoaster and sometimes I just want to jump off. I am greatful to have a job though and I'll ride it out.
I'm going back home soon to a family reunion. That's always interesting... Lots of questions to dodge but I'm oddly looking forward to seeing everyone. All in all, things are pretty good :)
 
Wow! What a roller coaster. Beginning in late December, I began an almost never endng drug binge. When I went back to school, I just didn't seem the same. Drug use continued, in part, to losing someone who I truly love due to long distance and her lack of time for a relationship. This, as it turned out to be the first domino to fall. I then became detached with many of my friends. My grades started to slip as I entered into a major depressive episode. Eventually things become so stressful that things began to fall apart. I lost many friends, my full scholarship, and felt like I lost my identity. Once my family became aware of my problems because of my arrest, rejection soon set in. As of now, half of my family (extended) will not talk to me. I was pretty much forced to move back in with my Dad and Stepmom (where I currently am) to "get things straight again." Even though many things seem to have turned around, I am still working a dead end job with no money to return to school, not enough time to make friends, and NO clue of what I want to do or where I want to go. Sometimes it seems hopeless. Daily I search for meaning in life but come up empty handed. I can definately say my world has turned up-side down. Just trying to take things day by day I guess...
 
Right now...
I'm finishing my last week of school for this semester. Three classes down, two more to go...then summer!!
I'm not dating anyone...the boy that I mentioned in the previous post turned out to suck, so screw men. :)
At the moment, I'm on great terms with almost everyone in my life. I'm having a really great time in my life right now, I'm truely starting to love being who I am.
My roommate & I are rennovating our apartment too. This entire coming weekend all I'm going to be doing is painting our apartment and moving in new furniture and stuff. We're also getting a new roommate too, one of my good friends is moving in. I can't wait for that!! He's moving in saturday, yay.
I also bought a new computer last week, so right now I'm typing this on my brand spankin' new graphite iMac. Mmmmsexycomputer.
Okay, I'm a geek, that's enough.
 
i just graduated high school last friday. i broke up with my boyfreind who i deeply care(d) about on monday. he pissed me off. and also, i am leaving the state for college in about 3 months and i came to the decision, after some input from him, that there was no real point in our relationship because of the fact that i'm moving, and also he lives an hour away. and i don't have transportation to his city. so we saw eachother only on weekends, and that sucks. it's not like i could go stay the night with him, due to strict parents.
as a result of breaking up with him, and then going out with my ex again, i've realized that i just really need/want to get off the dating scene for awhile and just focus on ME. i have a lot ahead of me, and i don't want to be clouded by a guy in the important decisions that i have to make. but it is so hard. i have consistently had some guy (not the same one) in my life for the past 3 or so years. i haven't ever had time to just be with me. it's always in the back of my mind to think about HIM. my ex and i decided that we were going to be just "freinds with benefits" but i've decided that this isn't going to work for me. but he says that he really cares about me, so i don't know how to end it. we both had feelings coming into this situation, but last night when we were making out, i just looked at him and it was like, i don't like this guy. why am i here giving of my self to some one that i don't care for like that.
i have basically come to a plateau in my life, in which i must think clearly. i have to get away from forces that continually influence me as much as i try to stay away from them.
~
me
 
Let's see. . .I just made a huge change by moving away from my home of more than 2yrs and severing all connections with that city, and that life. So right now I'm in that weird "building" stage trying to find new friends (no luck) and a new job. Also, I just recently realized that I havn't a fucking clue what I'll be doing a year from now, so I should probably work on focusing on the future. It's letting go of the past that killing me. .. I cry a lot and even though my fam is being SO supportive, I hate, HATE change. It's exhausting.
 
I just finished my last exam. I was not taking them too seriously but then I read that my university is meant to be second best in UK for computer science (which I think must be wrong considering the quality of lectures) so I found that quite inspirational for my studies.
My exams went pretty well and I don't think there were many problems.
The world cup is starting (yes this is an important part of MY life :-D). I'm going to homelands then to see my parents for 10 days.
Then j'ne ce qua (spelling is proabbly wrong)
 
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