Uhh bit confused, bit of a benzo blackout I fear .—. Today, or technically yesterday ig, was spend snorting most of my speed, so now I’m forced to go my dealer again, feels like a chore ughh
Was awfully chaotic day, but got a lot of shit done and planned. Some benzos & weed this evening / night to help me sleep:
- 0.5 mg phenazolam
- 5mg deschloroetizolam
- bunch of tropic cherry peru vaped weed
Feeling pretty chill, awake at 5am right now but I think I can manage to sleep two more hours. Once I get up it will be a suprise what happend in the hours before ending up in bed, because I have memories that could either have actually happend or were weird fever dream scenarios perhaps.
I very clearly remember when the phenzolam kicked in, I started feeling like I was tripping. Looking in the mirror warped my face and some walls looked as though they were making waving motions. Also have the vague memory of throwing up and I sure hope that one was just part of a nightmare or that I at least was smart enough to puke out of window

don’t know what that was, still trialing the phenazolam and whereas a 1mg will practically knock me out, 0.5mg had me seriously feeling really drunk. Couldn’t walk straight and also it gives me massively blown out pupils, holyshit. Did not expect that for a benzo, quite interesting how some benzos seem to do that, always thought it was just an uppers or maybe some psychedelics thing.
Don’t want to make this ramble superr long but yes, busy days ahead, moving into my room on Sunday and I’m so exited. Planning to just use weed until Sunday.
I’d like me a good proper k-hole again once everything is moved into my new room and I can actually k-hole in complete peace, no more paranoia about bothering my mom in any way AND a shit load of fun raves & club nights coming up, hell yeahh