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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

What is there to do during lockdown apart from drink?

Arnold said:

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I haven't watched the first video yet, but damn the second one was really raw. I doubt any high is worth losing a leg over, let alone both - and that poor guy was on his way to losing his second leg. I hope that never happened. I wonder if he had considered or been offered a prosthetic leg.

If I'm being really honest there was a time when I would have perhaps looked down at people like them as having brought their misfortunes on themselves, but I now know what mental illness can do to people - having frequently felt suicidal myself, and addiction is a mental or psychological illness. I know some don't agree with that but I believe it is. And especially as the people featured in documentaries like these often come from broken backgrounds. Damn, makes me feel guilty
 
not watched the first yet either but i recognise the second from the first couple of mins.

tbh it is quite a timely reminder cos my brain has this new form of insanity that, when i did heroin since i got into recovery, i smoked it. and that if i would have injected it maybe it would do what i wanted it to. so, i should have another go but with a pin this time.

when i was using i knew a lot of people with serious problems due to injecting, probably well on their way to losing one or both their legs. it doesn't put you off in that situation though cos 'you'll never get that bad' but when i look back now i can see i did a lot of dumb shit.

i really feel fucking done with alcohol so much. had such an awful week and its just made it all worse. this is not the person i want to be. i also have another opiate rattle in the post but have dental surgery next week if they don't cancel it so will wait til after that.
 
The most therapudic option I have found to deal with pent up BS is to dig holes and refill them. :confused: (yardwork and home improvements).
The most comfortable and laid back would include eating bars and smoking dank. This leads to apathy, depression and dependece (for me) especially if this path had lasted as long as this disease. ... no/maybe/yes. Not optimal in my case.
Anyone else kinda tired of making out with yer SO 24/7/365 to pass time? hahaha
Ya'll be cool, ya heard?
<3
 
started my day with a pep talk courtesy of these guys:



2 days of no booze don't hate myself as much. hoping to continue this evening but my boyf will drink so will be harder. trying to get more into buddhism stuff to motivate myself to express my 'highest self.'
 
chinup said:
not watched the first yet either but i recognise the second from the first couple of mins.

tbh it is quite a timely reminder cos my brain has this new form of insanity that, when i did heroin since i got into recovery, i smoked it. and that if i would have injected it maybe it would do what i wanted it to. so, i should have another go but with a pin this time.

when i was using i knew a lot of people with serious problems due to injecting, probably well on their way to losing one or both their legs. it doesn't put you off in that situation though cos 'you'll never get that bad' but when i look back now i can see i did a lot of dumb shit.

i really feel fucking done with alcohol so much. had such an awful week and its just made it all worse. this is not the person i want to be. i also have another opiate rattle in the post but have dental surgery next week if they don't cancel it so will wait til after that.
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When I watch programmes like that it brings it home to me that the positives of drug use are far outweighed by the negatives.

Alcohol ruined my life. I almost ruined by life with Benzos, and heroin seems like it would be even more ruinous. The problem is what to replace these addictions with? I still haven't found the answer to that.

Good luck with the dental surgery
 
Forever Changes said:
When I watch programmes like that it brings it home to me that the positives of drug use are far outweighed by the negatives.

Alcohol ruined my life. I almost ruined by life with Benzos, and heroin seems like it would be even more ruinous. The problem is what to replace these addictions with? I still haven't found the answer to that.

Good luck with the dental surgery
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love is a good replacement, but just as dangerous and addictive, and can be hard to find, especially when coming out of addictive cycles
 
Forever Changes said:
The problem is what to replace these addictions with? I still haven't found the answer to that.
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pretty much. i thought i had then i allowed myself to start drinking again due to ennui or some other idiotic reason.

from what i can tell it is mostly about learning to sit with discomfort without immediately searching for external means to fix it.

the thing that has helped me most from that perspective is going to my local buddhist centre, i've not undergone some fervent conversion i just enjoy learning about the teachings and they chime with me.
 
All I need is
chinup said:
pretty much. i thought i had then i allowed myself to start drinking again due to ennui or some other idiotic reason.

from what i can tell it is mostly about learning to sit with discomfort without immediately searching for external means to fix it.

the thing that has helped me most from that perspective is going to my local buddhist centre, i've not undergone some fervent conversion i just enjoy learning about the teachings and they chime with me.
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In my case I would stop swapping one addiction for another if weed was legalised. If I could just drop by the dispensary every night after work for my drug of choice as opposed to my drug of convenience (alcohol), I could remain a functional member of society without having to resort to booze or dodgy shit supplied by criminals.

I would also like to throw pharmaceutical MDMA into the mix every now and then of course...
 
LoginNotSecure said:
I'm sure I remember a film/short series where they legalised all drugs, the film/series was based in the UK, don't remember too much of the details, but "they" didn't make it shine in a positive light. Obviously.

https://topdocumentaryfilms.com/if-drugs-were-legal/ - This may have been it?
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Yeh, that looks vaguely familiar - I was probably off my tits when I first saw it. Must give it another watch, cheers for the link.

But we all know that any chance of drug law reform in the UK is just a pipe dream with our shit shower of a government. They can't even wipe their own arses without a nanny. How could they be expected to handle this?

Imagine their 'toot and trace' system... :ROFLMAO:
 
chinup said:
pretty much. i thought i had then i allowed myself to start drinking again due to ennui or some other idiotic reason.

from what i can tell it is mostly about learning to sit with discomfort without immediately searching for external means to fix it.

the thing that has helped me most from that perspective is going to my local buddhist centre, i've not undergone some fervent conversion i just enjoy learning about the teachings and they chime with me.
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I started going to my local church (at least before Covid shut them all down) even though I was never religious and as a rationally-minded person find it hard to believe that a God exists or that everything that the bible says is true, but at least they were mostly a friendly and well-meaning bunch of people, so you could do worse than find communities like that to hang out with.

As it stands I can't ever seeing myself able to function properly without a drug, but some have apparently managed to find a meaningful life without that crutch.

I just don't want to end up like the people in those videos. I would used to be judgemental about that type of person, but now I can see how all too easy it is to slip into that lifestyle and spiral into oblivion

I remember when high-profile people like Tony Scott and Robin Williams committed suicide it ignited a debate over 'why would rich successful people want to kill themselves?!', with their defenders arguing that depression/mental illness isn't rational no matter your background. It's true. Some of the happiest and most contented people in the world are often those with the least - it seems a bit mystifying to those of us brought up in the West, especially when you have it drilled into you all the time that you must be successful and have really high expectations for your life and future
 
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Forever Changes said:
I started going to my local church (at least before Covid shut them all down) even though I was never religious and as a rationally-minded person find it hard to believe that a God exists or that everything that the bible says is true, but at least they were mostly a friendly and well-meaning bunch of people, so you could do worse than find communities like that to hang out with.

As it stands I can't ever seeing myself able to function properly without a drug, but some have apparently managed to find a meaningful life without that crutch.

I just don't want to end up like the people in those videos. I would used to be judgemental about that type of person, but now I can see how all too easy it is to slip into that lifestyle and spiral into oblivion

I remember when high-profile people like Tony Scott and Robin Williams committed suicide it ignited a debate over 'why would rich successful people want to kill themselves?!', with their defenders arguing that depression/mental illness isn't rational no matter your background. It's true. Some of the happiest and most contented people in the world are often those with the least - it seems a bit mystifying to those of us brought up in the West, especially when you have it drilled into you all the time that you must be successful and have really high expectations for your life and future
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Beware of their 'friendliness'. They're just trying to draw you in and convert you. I would choose a life of drug addiction over god bothering any day (as I already have).

Every religious zealot I've ever met has a weird look in their eyes with a softly spoken yet persuasive manner. Beware of them cunts, they're fuckin evil...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Yeh, that looks vaguely familiar - I was probably off my tits when I first saw it. Must give it another watch, cheers for the link.

But we all know that any chance of drug law reform in the UK is just a pipe dream with our shit shower of a government. They can't even wipe their own arses without a nanny. How could they be expected to handle this?

Imagine their 'toot and trace' system... :ROFLMAO:
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Always been tempted to buy an old oil tanker, they are massive and you can buy decommissioned ones for about £300,000. Bear in mind it’d cost well over a million to fuel it. But take it into no mans land, kit it out as a hotel and anything goes but rape and murder.

Ah to rule as a king..
 
Forever Changes said:
As it stands I can't ever seeing myself able to function properly without a drug, but some have apparently managed to find a meaningful life without that crutch.
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honestly this is how i used to feel. and when you're used to using drugs over a long period of time, til rehab i'd never been an adult without a daily drug habit so i had no life experience of how to actually exist without drugs.

it took a long time and lot of work to be 'functioning properly' clean cos you have to build up your emotional resilience and coping mechanisms. for 9 months my recovery was more than a full time job, but after putting the groundwork in, i can without a doubt say that til i started drinking again i was functioning better than i ever had while using.
 
I plan on getting annihilated in a week or two. I've been sober long enough. I haven't been into A&E in 2 months. I'm slippin.
 
gotta say covid era is a great time to go to a&e.

i went last summer cos i was convinced i had some weird systemic infection and 111 told me to. was in and out in less than an hour, including 40 mins for blood test results to come back. turned out i was just brutally depressed, like couldn't move my body levels of depressed, and had a still unexplained rash.

but i would argue @Bella Figura that less frequent visits to A&E is probably desirable, so you're doing whatever the opposite of slipping is.
 
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