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Vent/Rant Thread vs. 2 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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my cat is such a fucking fag. i hate him sometimes. i think he knocked my glasses off the table and then took them somewhere. i cant find them anywhere and i know i left them on the table.

he purrs so fucking loud too. wtf? im not even touching him and he just starts purring and making this clicking noise. it wakes me up from downstairs and then i cant go back to sleep. then if i let him in the room he starts kneading at the sheets and my leg like hes drinking milk. the other cat is silent and looks like hes humping when he does this. his ass also shakes really loud. they are both gay cats. then theres the biggest cat hes cool though since he never comes inside. probably from all the gay the 2 cats spread.

WHY DID I THINK GETTING ANOTHER CAT WOULD BE ALRIGHT? HES ALRIGHT BUT HES SO FUCKING ANNOYING. WE HAD 2 THAT WAS FINE. THEN I THOUGHT ANOTHER WILL BE FUN. IT WAS FUN FOR LIKE 2 DAYS THEN HE TURNED FAG. FUCK I SHOULD GET A DOG TO EAT THEM
at least i would name a dog. the cats name was "Kayan" when we got him. i thought it was kayak and liked it more but we just call him kitty. such a fucking fuck cat
 
queenscarlet88 said:
The Accutane might be causing you to feel suicidal. Feeling depressed and suicidal is a well-documented side-effect of the drug.

Have you tried dietary changes? I cured my severe cystic acne with a gluten-free diet. The acne, including cysts as big around as my thumbnail, cleared up within three days ...
Click to expand...

I think its a mixture of both the drug and the acne it has caused.

Funny that you mention gluten free, I was just reading up on that a couple nights ago and pondered trying it out. I think I will start tomorrow.
 
Larson0 said:
my cat is such a fucking fag. i hate him sometimes. i think he knocked my glasses off the table and then took them somewhere. i cant find them anywhere and i know i left them on the table.

he purrs so fucking loud too. wtf? im not even touching him and he just starts purring and making this clicking noise. it wakes me up from downstairs and then i cant go back to sleep. then if i let him in the room he starts kneading at the sheets and my leg like hes drinking milk. the other cat is silent and looks like hes humping when he does this. his ass also shakes really loud. they are both gay cats. then theres the biggest cat hes cool though since he never comes inside. probably from all the gay the 2 cats spread.

WHY DID I THINK GETTING ANOTHER CAT WOULD BE ALRIGHT? HES ALRIGHT BUT HES SO FUCKING ANNOYING. WE HAD 2 THAT WAS FINE. THEN I THOUGHT ANOTHER WILL BE FUN. IT WAS FUN FOR LIKE 2 DAYS THEN HE TURNED FAG. FUCK I SHOULD GET A DOG TO EAT THEM
at least i would name a dog. the cats name was "Kayan" when we got him. i thought it was kayak and liked it more but we just call him kitty. such a fucking fuck cat
Click to expand...
One question: are your cats neutered??
If not, please get them fixed, like, tomorrow. It could seriously solve ALL of the problems you're having!!
Also, don't hate on the loud purring thing and that kneading thing he does, that means he LOVES you, so cherish that <3
Also, cats don't have a sexuality ;)
Also, love your cats for the amazing creatures that they are, because let me tell you man, they love YOU unconditionally. So love them back and stop taking them for granted (especially the affectionate one).
 
@ Larson 0: I lol'd...thanks! are you a real person? heh Docters should perscribe you as an anti-depressant! :D :D :D
 
... had some ultra-sounds done, and now its more biopsies.

ive been complaining about this too, finally someone listened and more is getting done.
im ready to scream-bloody-murder at these people...but better now then never.


it keeps trying, but i keep living.
 
Asclepius said:
@ Larson 0: I lol'd...thanks! are you a real person? heh Docters should perscribe you as an anti-depressant! :D :D :D
Click to expand...

lol it felt good to get that out to be honest. my cats alright and i found my glasses today. he did take them though!!

and yeah they are all fixed. i like them all and wouldn't hurt them. they 2 are still gay cats though lol

jeeze i was really mad about that last night
 
Panic in Paradise. Sorry youve had to have bi opsys and ultrasounds.

Whatever it is I know you will overcome it.. Youre SUPERPANTS

Takes all our superpowers to not scream at people sometimes doesnt it!.. So well done for your patience!

medal.jpg


Youre a champion
 
^^
<3

i love it, thanks you, is it forged from your most spectacular golden-halo of fortune-to-shine-upon-what-could-be-perceived-as-misfortune?

this is fuckDxXxno biopsies yet for this, and this will be the most relevant of the 3, the source.time to nip it in Ze bUd.

Warriors of Love ~ Somebody Scream
!!!
i could collapse with fear, or lOl myself crazy...sO maybe a lil dancing will dO.
 
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i am going to try and crash.

but i dont know what to do anymore, my "liver" or something feel wrapped in stringy icey hot and is jerking around, my "ribs" feel like a horse is biting them in the same area, and now there what looks like a bunch of "pimples" in the same place, this has been going on for a few days now, and a lot more, and i called my dr earlier asking for "help" -- not a "cure" - it has been so long, i dont have freaking shingles, i really do not want painkillers, because i need to know what is happening, so i dont aggravate things...this is very aggravating, what i mentioned above, the clogged up lymph nodes as in every one checked until she gave up, with out any halos or comet-tails on the artifacts and etc, i am glad she was stunned and took note and told the dr there on the phone when she called because, it sucks to say the least, by my "annoying" goosebumps, that shit hurts and has been happening well over a year...this explains the stage 1 hyper-tension the copper taste and odor, and allll the 1000;s symptoms ive been going on about this entire time since remicade and humira. totally treatable caught at a time like this, but, the course taken is one expected by the books, as it has been doing and tracked, besides its origin the spleen, it traveled from spleen to colon to bladder to "liver", and as i have also been worried about, after the liver is the heart and from the heart is the brain.

i am supopoposed to go see him tomorrow for my pain-killers but i dont want them or to see him, i want and need help, that is what i have been there for 120+ plus times, once every 2 weeks for 2+ years...like a stupid yo-Yo, yo.
doh-doh DOH
 
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Superpants

The doc is likely to treat the syptoms you present to him/her if they dont know whats wrong and dont have a diagnosis.
I do hope its not shingles thats apparently excruciating!

*chucking you a halo of peace * for the docs appointment.

You dont have to put it on if you feel a bit awkward in it you can fold it up and put it in your pocket. :) <3
 
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I am withdrawing from suboxone and heroin for the hundredth time. I have to do it whether I like it or not, or I'll be living in my car again. I already want to put a bullet in my head and its only been 24 hours since my last dose. 24 hrs is nothing and I already feel like death. I'm not allowed to do it at home so now I'm stuck withdrawing at some detox facility run by the Salvation Army.
This is going to be shiet. This is the first time in my life where deep down I want to be clean for me and not for anyone else. i want to put everything into it but I'm fuckin terrified./
sorry, I just needed somewhere to put my thoughts down before I go crazy. I read here all the time but never post
 
sounds horrific pr0zacc.. I know how excruciating it can be! Sounds like youre pushing through for yourself. Youll start to feel better soon sweetheart.No need to apologise.. its a criteria for bluelightin to be crazy :)

Peace<Love and a nice gentle breeze to your cheek xx<3
 
panic in paradise said:
i am going to try and crash.

but i dont know what to do anymore, my "liver" or something feel wrapped in stringy icey hot and is jerking around, my "ribs" feel like a horse is biting them in the same area, and now there what looks like a bunch of "pimples" in the same place, this has been going on for a few days now, and a lot more, and i called my dr earlier asking for "help" -- not a "cure" - it has been so long, i dont have freaking shingles, i really do not want painkillers, because i need to know what is happening, so i dont aggravate things...this is very aggravating, what i mentioned above, the clogged up lymph nodes as in every one checked until she gave up, with out any halos or comet-tails on the artifacts and etc, i am glad she was stunned and took note and told the dr there on the phone when she called because, it sucks to say the least, by my "annoying" goosebumps, that shit hurts and has been happening well over a year...this explains the stage 1 hyper-tension the copper taste and odor, and allll the 1000;s symptoms ive been going on about this entire time since remicade and humira. totally treatable caught at a time like this, but, the course taken is one expected by the books, as it has been doing and tracked, besides its origin the spleen, it traveled from spleen to colon to bladder to "liver", and as i have also been worried about, after the liver is the heart and from the heart is the brain.

i am supopoposed to go see him tomorrow for my pain-killers but i dont want them or to see him, i want and need help, that is what i have been there for 120+ plus times, once every 2 weeks for 2+ years...like a stupid yo-Yo, yo.
doh-doh DOH
Click to expand...


I'm sorry don't mean to sound like an idiot but do you actually know what is causing all this? I had to read your post like 3 times and I did not see you specifically say you know what it is.

A copper taste in the mouth almost seems like heavy metal poisoning in which can be fixed by taking iodine. But certain meds can also cause a build up to happen overtime which can then trigger allergic like reactions such as hives. I don't wanna sit here and speculate though if you already know what it is. Swollen lymph nodes I think are popular with thyroid problems but obviously other shit can cause it. Anyway I'd rather not speculate unless thats what you want and you are genuinely lost about what is causing all these symptoms. Maybe you already know its the medicines you're on or something... idk. But angiostatin blockers are known to cause all types of shit not sure if thats what you're on for the hypertension.
 
^^
no diagnosis yet, im needing to go in for a biopsy, but your are right about the iodine, one reason, or the main reason that colloil develops in the lymph-nodes, is from severe iodine depletion, causing crystallization of calcium and different stuff.

when this blockage does occur, blood-pressure rises along with pain, and frustration, the BP is only going to try and rise up more, the blood will try and find a way to release pressure and go somewhere, besides heavy-metal poisoning, from things like cheapO fillings etc./who knows is from the oxidization of of blood let internally. a chronic-adverse TNF pain blocker reaction - or the right reaction in an instant, is famous for causing this stuff. i have since in the past year had stage-3 colon and bladder tumors removed, the pain ive been going on about & with this whole time, 45lbs dropped in 35 days, etc. my spine where it connects to my head is locking up again, nasty migraines, lights flashing from behind me it appears, loss of balance suddenly, sound and light is killer and extremely aggravating and so is my temper...that continued with all the rest from last november until valentines day. i was in the ED for that, and was about to have a spinal-tap to check for toxic-shock-induced malaria, but then the dick-fuck chief of stuff ruled it down as a sinus infection. i am so dreading that again, that started up and has been progressing since friday night. it matters not to my PCP, that sort of thing, i actually am so much easier to deal with in disbelief...if i said boo about thinking i was depressed or anxious, oh man i would be getting sooooo much "attention" this way.

depressed paranoid and socially-anxious.

is quiet, kept that way on tranquilizers, and humorous to be humored with just some need of positive reinforcement, and some nudges in the right direction.

i amd asked always, as i should be of course, but now after this whole time, when asked how i am, what i say is not what matters but how i say it is the truth. what is then given to me as a reply is supposedly the medicine, just a chuckle and some off topic injection... :D no worries, after that, and with all my oxy, ill be here and not trouble for another 2 weeks.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Be wary about that as you obviously should know boredom is king of triggering relapses.

I've been doing the same shit now filling up my time with running or redesigning my room (which looks really fucking nice now I must admit) cleaning car etc put some new speakers in there last week. But to find things that are genuinely "fun" I find very difficult. Movies aren't fun for me, having conversations/fucking with people/shopping can sometimes be fun but most of the time not really what I'm looking for.

The only 2 things I genuinely consider fun in life (at least at this point) are fucking or doing full agonist opies. One of which can be hard to do if you haven't been wearing your gameface lately another of which I refuse to do. So basically I've accepted that I won't be having any real fun for a long time. Not untill I've been off the opiates for some considerable time. Anyway w/e you do just stay the hell away from you know what. And if you want to have "fun" as I said only thing I can think of is finding a cutey and seeing if she will let you stick it to her little pututty.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the reply Bo. Boredom is definitely a trigger and I need to work on doing 'fun' things and figuring out what that means to me in a sober way.


I've mentioned my friend here before, the one that is now addicted to opiates. This is the first time he's ever getting physical WDs and is actually sick. I have been trying to help him as he looks like he's hating his life more and more every time I see him. It's really worrying as he talks of how depressed he is and how he feels so lost and trapped. He has been a great friend to me for 9.5 years now, and he was extremely helpful to me when I stopped a few weeks ago, so I really want to help him stop using. He's always had my back and I always have his. He plans to detox this weekend and I'm hoping it turns out good, but I honestly don't think he is ready to go through WDs and to fully stop using. I just don't think he realizes what he's in for and it's impossible to tell him and get him to understand until he goes through it himself. I've tried, but he just doesn't seem to get it. :\

I'm trying to do everything I can and I'll help him out when he detoxes, it's just hard as I've never been on this side of the fence. I've always been the fucked up one. This is the first time I'm seeing someone who I care about going through opiate addiction. I've seen him go from casual user to frequent user to heavy user to addict. It's frustrating to not be able to get him to stop and to watch him struggle this way, but I know it's just how it is. :(

We hung out tonight and I got him to lift with me which made me feel good. He's from India originally and he's always been thin, and is now even thinner because of the addiction. He always talks about wanting to get stronger, but I think he feels self-conscious at a gym because he doesn't have a lot of upper body strength. When we lifted tonight he was getting so pumped up! It was a complete 180 of how he was when he stopped over. It feels good being a positive motivation in someone's life, or at least trying to be, but I feel like it's just going to be more painful to me if he doesn't actually detox this weekend. He's the last real friend I have in the area and I'd hate to lose him to opiates. I can't keep hanging out with someone who is in that scene though, it's too hard for me at this point.
 
I hate being sober but I know its a good thing and I believe I should remain sober except I'm lying to myself. I know there's no way I'm going to stay away from drugs. Right now the question of when will I get high again remains? Especially now that I have a job. Yes, I got it to help out at home and so my mother and I can move out of this transitional housing (fucking sucks) yet I still want to put aside money for me. Money that I know I'm going to blow on drugs.

My mother doesn't seem to care anymore or truly understand my relationships with drugs other than weed. I was about to apply for a second job at this place she also sent an application in but I didn't. Later I was happy I didn't send it in because I remember they drug test and do random drug screenings... I even told my mom that's why I don't want to work there. She was like oh, wait what but then joked should I kick your ass now or later and we left it at that. So anyways time will tell.... I don't plan on getting too heavily into opiates again or other drugs but again time will tell.
 
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