Bojangles69
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,758
the idea of relapsing due to a craving while detoxing off subs makes me want to actually commit suicide.
I know exactly what you are saying. But once you actually detox, and are faced with the paws, if you have to relapse don't feel too bad about it. The last few days of paws I was thinking the same thing, "If I have to go back to sub I'll kill myself", and then a couple days later it turned into "if I don't go back to sub I WILL KILL MYSELF". So I went back to sub so I can devise a better plan for paws.
I had a solid plan for tapering which made tapering go relatively smooth. But my plan for paws was just to "deal with it". The problem is that for some people dealing with paws can drive them straight into a serious depression, so don't think that dealing with it is always the only choice. At this point I'm just trying to stay on sub for a few more weeks, till I get a strong anti-d and a bunch of neurontin in my possession.
Neurontin helps A LOT for paws, but does nothing for depression which is where the anti-d comes in. I plan on staying on them both for 6 months, then tapering off them for another 3 months and I truely believe at that point my brain will be ready enough to face sobriety. Thats all I really feel I have to do. Get on a non-opiate med that can address the symptoms for 6 months, then taper off slowly and bye bye paws.
Last time I got off opiates, I was on lexapro for the first year, and it seems to have covered up every single aspect of paws. I stopped the lex, and felt "normal" once the lex wds were over. I didn't feel like I had a permanent alteration in my brain anymore that I had to struggle with, so I'm going a very similar route this time.
People always use to say don't worry about wds worry about paws, and I always use to say "fuck that if I can get through wds I KNOW FOR A FACT I can get through paws", but oddly enough wds were fairly easy with tapering, but paws were an utter nightmare.
Just a matter of being patient imo and planning for everything you can.