Too anyone who is having these symptoms

[Maya]

I was like you, and told myself i will never do MDMA again, i even forgot that feeling. And after 6 years i rolled many times.
Im fine. Never say never

How long was your recovery period?? I am in the same boat of not going to roll again after the hell I went through.. I am still in the recovery period...

 

[eLW]

Well, its about 1 year. My cure was sertralin, i was on it only 3 months. I didnt drink alcohol for about a year after that also. Time is important. I think you should forget about drugs for about few years at least. I was 20 back them, did mdma 5 months ago.

 

[eLW]

How long was your recovery period?? I am in the same boat of not going to roll again after the hell I went through.. I am still in the recovery period...

I actualy think it was not mdma that triggered all this, my lifestyle triggered anxiety, also 2days prior i took piperazine pill.

 

[Maya]

I actualy think it was not mdma that triggered all this, my lifestyle triggered anxiety, also 2days prior i took piperazine pill.

Ic... I think I might have taken not pure mdma either.. I've never had this type of comedown before.... I am in my late 20's and yes I will definitely not take anything at all. I am an exercise freak though I am actually going to the gym in 20 minutes lol But I guess it's too late to complain about it now right? I am just hoping for the best and since I only have one very annoying symptom left I am hoping to recover in a few more months... Crossing my fingerzzzz

 

[HarrytheHead]

ELW - I started Paxil. Two weeks in, im feeling better already. Did your SSRI really help you, And did you have any withdrawal symptoms? How long of "feeling better" made you feel comfortable enough to drop it? Did you taper off or cold turkey?

Sorry for all the questions. Thanks!

 

[Folley]

I started Paxil

The three worst words you can hear around here


Did you bother telling your doctor your "depression" is only caused temporarily from MDMA abuse, or did you just run in there telling him how depressed and awful you feel? Because in the second case, it's no wonder that he would put you on strong medication. Drugs like that are just going to slow a FULL recovery in the long run. By the time you've recovered from the MDMA abuse, you'll have to taper off the SSRIs to avoid withdrawal and will be spending the next few months repairing the damage from SSRI-related serotonin downregulation.


It might make you feel better for now, but in reality it's just going to cause more problems down the road than if you would have just gone the natural route and overcame these problems on your own.



Eventually you're going to have to learn to live life normally again.. the sooner you can get back to how you were living before, the better.

 

[F1n1shed]

The three worst words you can hear around here


Did you bother telling your doctor your "depression" is only caused temporarily from MDMA abuse, or did you just run in there telling him how depressed and awful you feel? Because in the second case, it's no wonder that he would put you on strong medication. Drugs like that are just going to slow a FULL recovery in the long run. By the time you've recovered from the MDMA abuse, you'll have to taper off the SSRIs to avoid withdrawal and will be spending the next few months repairing the damage from SSRI-related serotonin downregulation.


It might make you feel better for now, but in reality it's just going to cause more problems down the road than if you would have just gone the natural route and overcame these problems on your own.



Eventually you're going to have to learn to live life normally again.. the sooner you can get back to how you were living before, the better.

Although i agree that taking SSRI's is the easy way out ,and natural is the way to go. I found SSRI withdrawal was literally a walk in the park, compared to MDMA induced depression / damage. The worst part about SSRI withdrawal is the head spins / dizziness. I actually wasn't that depressed after them , maybe for a few days and that's it. So all in all, if your depression / anxiety is so bad you want to kill your self, SSRI's might be a good option. If you are just kind of depressed, you should man up and do it the natural way. Although be warned , it is a long journey.

 

[F1n1shed]

how are you doing f1nished? are you back to normal yet , over the last month or two i have realised that when i do return to normal i wont be doing mdma ever again. its just not worth the comedown such of this possibly happening again. The last 8 and a half months have been the worst of my life , staying positive is key but i get those days where i feel like giving up , i never will but its just the depression kicking in where i see everyone living a normal life while im stuck with this problem, i wont let it eat me up but it does hurt when i look back to how good my life was....

Honestly i can't tell how far i am in recovery, and i don't know if i'll ever be the same. There is nothing to gauge if we are at 100% or stuck at 80% for life. What I can tell you is the hell i was in has lightened up A lot, i don't wake up feeling like i am in a dream. The anxiety has mostly gone away, i don't get panic attacks anymore. The depression part.. i still have a pretty shitty out look on life but there are a lot of factors to that. I am just happy the main symptoms are gone, and even though i feel near full recovery or as far as you can get i will definitely NOT be looking to do MDMA in the future. The only way i'd consider it is if i was with a girl I loved, then we could really connect and share an amazing experience. As for going to raves and frying my brain just for the hell of it, no thank you i got other drugs : )

 

[Folley]

Well, studies have shown that SSRIs are as effective as placebos in mild to moderate depression.. so I'd have to agree. I cannot deny that they can help those with severe depression, however... I guess it really comes down to if your "depression" was an underlying disorder set off by MDMA, or you're just feeling a bit "blue" after some heavy abuse.



MDMA-induced 5-HT downregulation an natural depression are very similar.. the only difference is the MDMA-induced kind will almost always sort it self out naturally and "regular" depression often needs more serious treatments in the long run.

 

[Maya]

I refuse to take anymore drugs!!!!! Well I guess I won't mind alcohol in the future lolls but not for a very long time... No SSRI's whatsoever I am so scared of ingesting anymore of these stuff.. I am gonna keep doing what I'm doing exercise, lotsa sleep and supplements!!!

 

[eLW]

ELW - I started Paxil. Two weeks in, im feeling better already. Did your SSRI really help you, And did you have any withdrawal symptoms? How long of "feeling better" made you feel comfortable enough to drop it? Did you taper off or cold turkey?

Sorry for all the questions. Thanks!

Hi, SSRIs did help me. 3 months later i just stopped taking them in 1 day. I did not have any withdraw symptoms. I told my doc, i dont want them anymore. She prescribed me valium, in case something goes wrong.

 

[HarrytheHead]

The three worst words you can hear around here

Did you bother telling your doctor your "depression" is only caused temporarily from MDMA abuse, or did you just run in there telling him how depressed and awful you feel?

The doc knows its MDMA induced and that this will speed up recovery. I'm on 10mg which is actually a sub-therapeutic dose for two weeks and I am already feeling loads better. Going by what f1n1shd said, if I can knock out the panic attacks and depression with medication and then deal with minor withdrawal symptoms later that's fine by me. Maybe I'm looking at a 5 month recovery instead of 8. Is hard for anyone to say yes or no. Everyone's brain chemistry is different.

A lot of people are pro-natural route and are purely against pharmaceutical intervention. However, an ex-pharmaceutical, "designer" drug (used recklessly) is what caused the problem in the first place. So what is really the "high road" to take in recovering? -- pun intended

 

[F1n1shed]

^ Good luck to you, when i was on my SSRI (for around 5 months) i had already mostly recovered from MDMA. I was still just feeling cruddy over all with life. My main intention when going in to get looked at was honestly to score benzos, but the doc wasn't having any of it. She said she doesn't prescribe benzos at all, they are no good. So she said the best she could do is an SSRI, and i got zoloft. The medication is a real subtle feeling, but it doesn't seem to make you any 'happier' it just makes you better at ignoring your issues. Which is something good to have when dealing with MDMA recovery. Just don't stay on them for too long and i doubt you'll notice any unnatural effects when you get off them.

 

[surfer179]

im going to take the natural route , i have gone 8 months using it so if i have got this far , i dont need to take anything else, i really am feeling i am in the last maybe 3-5 months in recovery, my vision is getting better, i am starting to feel way less in like a dream , its all about occupying your mind with things, the more you get on with life as i said , the quicker symptoms start to diminish. BUT say if my recovery did get to around 18months and i have not made any improvements since now , i will consider taking an SSRI, maybe for a limited time though of around 3months to see what happens.

 

[Letroyce]

just wanted to check in as i havent done so all year. similar to surfer, i'm about 9 months into my recovery. over this time i've been learning about how to manage my symptoms (anxiety,dp/dr) and i consider myself a lot better than i was at the start. i do feel, however, that i am in an 'emotionally dead' stage. the first several months were categorised by intense anxiety and forehead pressure (extremely uncomfortable) and worrying about 'permanent brain damage' whilst nowadays it just feels like there are times when nothing is even running through my head. when i smoke mj i feel like it significantly brightens me up and brings back the influx of creativity and feelings that i desire. lately i have been limiting my smoking though, as i have periods of months where i wont smoke any mj followed by months where i'm constantly smoking.... i still can't work out whether i should quit altogether or still have the occasional toke. i just cant decide what my body wants.

 

[surfer179]

letroyce in my personal opinion i would not smoke weed for the purpose of its not doing the brain any good but if it makes you feel better then that's a hard choice. What kind of symptoms of dp/dr are you getting , i have tunnel vision also which i think is another symptom of dp/dr , its strange though cause some days i feel better than others....

 

[laugh]

Bump

 

[HarrytheHead]

How are all the recoverers feeling? I'm all foggy and tingly in the head today. Guhhh week 8 8)

 

[Dawglaw]

Harry - as someone who has been there before - my best advice is to stay away from BL (and any googling or forums re long term effects of MDMA) for a while. I know how your experience can make you crave answers - you are feeling terrible things and you want answers and you want a cure.

Every time you acknowledge the anxiety and try to fight it, it just perpetuates itself. It took me a long time (and some therapy) to accept that I had zero control over what was happening. Many sleepless nights and i even broke down once or twice. Once I was able to accept what was going on, I no longer searched for a cure. I was aware that I felt off but it didn't scare me or even make me feel uncomfortable anymore. Once I was no longer afraid of being afraid I no longer cared about how off I felt. Stopped checking to see if I was in a spell of derealization. Life started to come back and I quickly improved thereafter.

It's really hard to let go. I think time and hard work (being healthy) are the answer.


Edit: iPad sucks to type on sorry for typos.

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

Anubian, your story reminded me of my own. I'm the first to say that I am an awesome, unique, intelligent, and just plain chill individual. I have plenty enough going for me and I've never met anyone quite like me, although we're all fundamentally of the same essence, from the same source. However, for a lot of my life, I have not been able to properly express myself to new people, and certain aspects of my life have been ruined by self crippling social anxiety that is seemingly impossible to overcome. My girlfriend seems to think I am mildly autistic, but I am undiagnosed. There is certainly something "special" about me though.

I struggled for so long because I wanted to be somebody who I wasn't. I wanted to be be extroverted, but in reality I was a socially awkward introvert. I would see how I wanted my life to play out in social scenarios, and then I would fail to realize that goal of just being able to be myself around others. My life was not playing out the way I wanted it to socially and I had no control to change that. So I was unsuccessful with meeting girls, which caused big problems and essentially ruined years of my life. I was so lonely that I resisted the flow of life, and started hating on life. I could not bear to be around other human beings due to the fundamental insecurities I had about myself and my sexuality at the time.

Mdma changed that, for a year back in 2010 I was a different person, it changed me into a party animal who would be the life of any event, who girls would love and even as a sober individual it was different, I was happier. I had gotten the short end of the stick all my life, being that stoned, humble, "nice guy", but with Mdma it put the spark back in life, I was so social that I wouldn't even need to speak and people would congregate around me, basking in the glow of my all-accepting presence and limitless euphoria. In the long run all it did was damage my body though which is taking a strict health and exercise regime and immense effort to recover partially from, I have not rolled in over a year. I do not have the desire to roll. I have realized and wholly accepted that I am an introvert by nature, and that trying to resist the natural order by altering myself through confidence boosting party drugs is going to be detrimental to my being. And if I need the drugs to have fun in those scenarios, then why party? So I avoid partying. It is a matter of fact that I do best when my energy isn't being influenced by other beings of consciousness who are around, and that it is ok to spend most of my time alone. Although I cannot always be the epic superman I was when I was high on MDMA, I am a social being in the sense that I do not so much let my problems obscure my ability to connect with others anymore, and that I do not abuse my body with lab chemicals, nowadays being wholly accepting of the cannabis high as a more boring, but sustainable, way of life.