• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!

Too anyone who is having these symptoms

I'm in this recovery process, i've been one month sober from all drugs besides mescaline.

The short term memory loss i can relate too.

I need to finish my G.E.D in 1 year and 4 months or i'll need to take all 5 test again.
Problem solving in math class is difficult. I've been stuck on math for 3 years. I passed 4 out of 5 test. and have been stuck on this last test for 3 years. From 18 years old to 21 years old now currently. I'm suffering from short term memory loss and comprehension. I read the math problem. Don't understand what it's asking. I re-read the problem like seven more times and end up still getting the wrong answer. I'm done using drugs until my career is solid. I take this information helpful.

The brain works in wonders, like you said it can repair itself quite well. After being a month clean of all drugs. I can remember things more better. I'm actually learning stuff in math. But the problem is i forget them the next day lol......

It should get better though. Only time can tell.
 
Wow, I've never heard of anyone suffering from anything like this...

Do you think it could be some kind of deficiency/other health issue, or perhaps even a psychological issue at the root? I've noticed people who suffer from anxiety/depression the worst tend to often have similar backgrounds.. just a thought. It would make sense to look for commonality between the sufferers to try and identify the cause/solutions.
 
Cartesia I am torn on if I have neurological damage or just stressed myself out and am dealing with a PTSD like somatic condition. I got fucked up from a relatively small dose with minimal history with MDMA but when this happened I was on a big party weekend bender with a ton of drinking and little sleep after my law school finals.

Besides a very tiny bit of anxiety and fluctuating derealization with wierd vision, I am fine emotionally and cognitively. All medical professionals have ruled out neurological damage based on the dose and my drug use history? Who knows... Either way it's a bummer and I hope I get back to baseline quickly.
 
I would agree that it is not neurological damage, of course I'm no expert - but as far as I'm aware the only time MDMA is at all neurotoxic is when you really start overheating - ie being at 40+ degrees C all night. (and you would feel terribly sick at this temperature, so I think you'd know if that had happened). Even if it was purely meth being sold as MDMA a few doses shouldn't have caused noticeable damage.


Very strange! Perhaps some kind of PTSD type thing like you say... also I guess it could have triggered a prolonged change in moods/dissociation/derealization/etc - Sometimes these conditions can be triggered by nothing more than a stressful event, so I imagine it's entirely possible that a strong drug experience could cause either a change in your brain, or a change in the long-term brain chemistry -

ITs suspected by alot of people that what happens when people 'flip out' from say, smoking weed, that they're actually just triggering something that was already there and just hadn't onset yet.. So perhaps this is a similar situation? Perhaps the path to treatment is to ignore the cause, and follow the standard therapy that someone who developed these problems without taking a drug would follow...
 
dawglaw i took have the exact same thing as you , maybe my memory is bad aswell ( cant remember days that have gone by very well) also im getting deja vu quite alot for some reaon. My mind seems fine though , my personality is normal, its more my vision that has got me , i cant seem to shake it off it seems to be just sensitve to light and derealization (everything looks weird) but im sure staying positive and just letting time take its course will get us through it. im much improved in the 4 months of my recovery i just think its gonna take another 4 months or maybe possibly a year to shake it off completely....
 
Surfer, its not a matter of if, rather it is a matter of when. There is no way we did enough to cause permanent damage, we just triggered a stress problem that will go away. I have snapped out of it three times already, just to jump back in after coffee or some other stupid thing that I take. Its almost at the point where i have gotten so used to it that I don't even care. My life has returned to 99% normal. I just feel a tad uncomfortable at times?

I feel that because of this experience, I pick up on minor things that ordinarily I did not notice. My dr. said, think of any crazy symptoms as your nose. You can always see it but your brain chooses to ignore it. When you think about your nose, you see it.
 
i have had the same thing to meet dawg, i have come out of it a few times only to go back into it gradually , you think your out then you seem to wonder back into it.

and i know its not if but when , i shouldnt of put that , i know we will get better , its just time thats gonna heal us

very good statement at the bottoms aswell, we have to ignore it , get on with our lives, it isnt really bothering me that much anymore its just i have a breathing problem at the moment for some reason (hard to breath properly at times and pain in chest) but im just going through my day now without really worrying of my symptoms because there actually becoming a lot less noticable
 
update on how everyone is doing ?

still having the sensitivity to light but starting to get better, been having some fucked up thoughts lately about life but hopefully there pass over, looking for 2013 to be a new start for me and to everything to go to the way i was :)
 
surfer179 said:
Right about seven weeks ago i took 0.5g of crystal mdma in 3 bombs

about 3-4 days afterwards i started to feel weird, these were my symptoms...
Click to expand...

Surfer-

Thank you for sharing! Had a similar experience about 3 years ago. I had messed around with ecstasy for a while. However, that did not prepare me for the crash landing that took place the day after I took too many hits. I ended up in the hospital the next night due to kidney failure. I was straight up with my doctor, thinking that he may help me recover. Unfortunately, not all doctors are not highly educated on recreational drugs. He just took urine samples from me every visit and lectured me about future use.
Months later, I thought nothing of it and assumed I was slipping into depression and anxiety because of other life events. I woke up one day and didnt know who I really was anymore. I used to be outgoing, funny, smart. I had isolated myself because I was filled with anxiety. I felt as if I was growing more dumb and confused everyday. At the time I had no idea what was happening. It felt as if my life just spiraled out of my control. I smoked weed to forget about how different my life was. Not going to lie, that was killer. I smoked way too much weed and I really wished I never had. 3 years later I am finally able to understand everything I was going through.. what I did wrong. I have quit smoking weed and am finally beginning to feel somewhat normal. There needs to be more research with the effects of MDMA. I was young and naive!!! I sadly lost almost 2 whole years of my life. Everyone really needs to educate themselves on what they consume. I thought I was well educated on the topic, as well as having multiple resources to confide in. Literally nothing prepared me for the aftermaths. I have always ate healthy foods so that was not a problem. & at the time I was exercising. The anxiety and depersonalization was an absolute nightmare. Everyone's experience is different and recovery time varies. Even if you are an avid marijuana smoker.. if you feel any of the effects on this forum, QUIT! Even if its just until you feel better. & REMAIN HOPEFUL!!! I am so thankful that I am finally able to move on.
 
hi cheddi , thanks for posting your experience , did you have the same kind of symptoms that me and the rest are having , are you finally back to normal from your ordeal?

would you recommend anything to recover quicker?

just some questions that i think everyone "recovering" would like to know....

i agree with you in the fact that it has wasted 6months of my life so far, i have no motivation for anything at the moment , and i seem to have brought on health anxiety which has made me get pains and feel unwell alot, usually straight from work i go straight to bed and sit on my laptop(feel comfort that way). it really is a pain in the arse, im really just going with the flow at the moment trying to wait until i feel normal again but it really isnt a fast process

hope to here a quick reply

surfer
 
Hey man, I would say that I am 95% better now.

I dealt with hypochondria for a while and I finally realized that acceptance was the most important "cure". Every time I went online to look for supplements or meds or looked up the symptoms to crazy ailments, I was still fighting the anxiety that the drugs created.

Once I was finally able to say fuck it,I don't care if I'm like this forever, I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my life, I suddenly felt a TON better. It is really hard to not worry about very real physical symptoms but alway remind yourself that it's only the chemicals being out of whack. I went through a cancer, MS, blindness, schitzo, etc scare but it was all in my head.

My only problem was physical symptoms of anxiety brough on by a stupid redose. Once I stopped being scared of being scared my life got a TON better.

I had an ocular migraine the other day and I could feel the anxiety start to crawl in my body but instead of fighting it I said shut up and chill out and I felt better, no derealization, nothing.

If you can afford it, I would highly reccomend a few sessions of CBT. If not look up mindfulness tricks on google.

I am certain my experience was all psychological and that I did not damage my brain, I just triggered a crappy but temporary anxiety spell that manifested itself with very physical symptoms.

I'm sure I still have more healing to do but I have reintroduced caffeine and hookah (tobacco) to my life and have been fine. I even took a hit from a joint and had zero problems.
 
hey dawglaw, i agree with you 100%, the last few months i have been going through alot of hypochondria, i have been thinking i have lung cancer because of pains in my chest, back pain , breathing problems, but over the last few weeks i have looked at people suffering from health anxiety and have realised that is what it is. You are so over powered by the physical effects you are having with your body that you find it hard to believe that it is actually stress and worry which causes your body to give out this false pain alarms which makes you worry and anxious.

i had a chest x ray done , all come back clear, doctor laughed at me and said " i told you so , your x ray says its more normal than ever, your lungs sound clear, your oxygen in your blood is as normal as it can get " he said you know what your problem is , your worrying so much about your health your bringing out these pains and problems your self from worrying so much , he said stop and get a life !

so i did i stopped worrying, thought i must be fine theres nothing wrong , just stop thinking your gonna be dead in the next 3 months from some fatal illness , you have just turned 21 , get a grip so the last few weeks all my pains and problems seem to be going because i having the attitude that i done care , im so glad you had the same turn out because i now realise it was actually anxiety which caused these physical problems even though they seem so real.

today was by far the best day , i have realised this recovery is not to do with a brain damage but to do with stress ! and anxiety! we have caused something to make our brain change because of stress of something we have brought on , today i snapped out of it and went back to normal , it was amazing , i was in work looking at around at things which usually look weird and everything looked normal , i keep snapping in and out of it for some reason but i know im making a forward step with this , the less i worry and the more i get on with my life the better i become , i know i just need to stay positive and il be fine.

i know there is one thing i do have though and that is GERD or acid reflux which i will need to get tablets for but that is besides the point lol

anyways heres to a positive future mate and everyone else , it really is the thoughts and worrys which makes us worse! stay positive :)
 
Best of luck and positive thoughts to everyone in this thread. Stay positive, stay healthy, and you will work through your symptoms.

My MDMA hangovers (which are really the absolute worst) have never lasted longer than about a week, but I totally understand all of the symptoms described here. Last time after a binge my wife experienced similar issues for around a week and kept asking me "Will this ever end??? Is my brain gone??". We'd come home after work and literally lay on the couch, eat a bit, and try to sleep.

For me, exercise was the most helpful, short runs seemed to lessen the "brain zapping" feeling. If your condition is persisting for a month plus though (w/o use), I'd say you should see a doctor though, there may be other issues present (general anxiety).

Cheers and best of luck!
 
how is everyone getting on with there long term comedowns , im still in the dumps im afraid :(
 
surfer179 said:
how is everyone getting on with there long term comedowns , im still in the dumps im afraid :(
Click to expand...

FOr me the most of the anxiety wave goes on the first 10 months....then i have some bad days in a row...4but not really but its...i feel like dont want to do nothing justthat, then i have another a amount of time feelin normal. The only thing i get is a very severe bruxism...
i read recoveries of 3 years even....so hang in there wait, stand, play games, its a long waiting to feel alive again but it worths it, nobody is there forever!!!
 
Over 2 months in and I've recovered about 70% (feels more like 30% on off days like today though). Suffering from anxiety, depression, cognitive difficulties (my worst/ most noticeable symptom by far), HPPD (eyes plays tricks on me throughout the day, reading is particularly hard), tinnitus, bruxism (especially bed when im trying to sleep - feels like i'm sucking on my teeth and cheeks non stop)`. Seems like I'm one of the few people on here who got these symptoms from a ludicrous dosing - only have myself to blame i suppose.

Whilst I estimate that i'm 70% closer to baseline now, I still feel so far off the person I was. I was literally retarded for nearly a month. Thankfully I am able to string sentences together now but still struggle with basic cognitive functions such as memory, multitasking, speech, understanding abstract concepts and the list goes on. I have dropped out of uni for the year to deal with these problems in my own time as I was crumbling under the social/ academic pressure at uni (which is not very much at all - gives you an idea of the severity of my state).

This is, by a million miles, the hardest thing i've ever had to go through. A profound kind of suffering that affects every aspect of your life. Just hope I come out of this in one piece, maybe even a stronger person... as opposed to some emotionally-damaged zombie dude lol. Sorry about the negative tone guys - currently riding a bit of a low...
 
I don't come to this site much anymore, but every time i come to the E discussion there is a new thread related to a long come down. It really bothers me that so many people are being tortured by MDMA, even when they use sparingly.
Does anyone LEGIT know how long your serotonin neurons recover, if they ever do? I'm sure we have all seen the pictures by Ricuarte where 7 years later the serotonin axons are still half missing! I know this research was flawed, where he was using methamphetamine but could this be a guideline of what MDMA is doing to us? MDMA works similarly to Meth, they are both potent releasers and i would argue MDMA is more neurotoxic. So does anyone have a credible study that shows how long it takes serotonin to come back after a night of rolling. I know it isn't 1 month, that is BS!.
 
my vision symptoms have improved but i am now going through what i now definitely know is depersonalization, it is pretty scary but reading up on it has made me realise how to deal with it and get it of it......, is anyone else experiencing the vision problems? , i have realised the reason i have dropped into dpd is because of the 7 and half months of stress and worrying thoughts in my mind when this all started, also i really have no motivation to do anything in life to be honest, nothing really excites me but i am going to the gym everyday doing weights so that is some motivation i guess....

memory has also got a little better but i think its gonna take at least a year till i feel completely back to normal, maybe longer....:(

f1nished i doubt it takes that long for our serotonin levels to return, i think the levels increase and decrease on your mood during the days, i do feel pretty fed up and depressed but i know when we get out of this we will all be better people and will definitely appreciate and cherish our health much more. This has been an unbelievable horrid 7 months of hell, everyday i find a struggle, i also feel like a robot where my eyes control themselves and i get on with daily things with no look in the matter....i guess time is our only healer
 
surfer179 said:
my vision symptoms have improved but i am now going through what i now definitely know is depersonalization, it is pretty scary but reading up on it has made me realise how to deal with it and get it of it......, is anyone else experiencing the vision problems? , i have realised the reason i have dropped into dpd is because of the 7 and half months of stress and worrying thoughts in my mind when this all started, also i really have no motivation to do anything in life to be honest, nothing really excites me but i am going to the gym everyday doing weights so that is some motivation i guess....

memory has also got a little better but i think its gonna take at least a year till i feel completely back to normal, maybe longer....:(
Click to expand...

My vision is still pretty off. Along with anxiety, it definitely worsens/ contributes to feelings of dp/ dr. It has gotten better though - my perception used to be so noticeably different the whole time - felt like I was in a dream, everything was incredibly bright and nothing felt real. These days I still get very noticeable after images, floaters, static and find it difficult to stay focused on the line I am on when I read. Also, I find it hard to focus on things that are far away - like if i try to read something off a board or an oncoming bus (doesn't even have to be that far away), it's all blurry. My peripheral vision is also far less reliable, kinda like I have tunnel vision, which makes it difficult to find stuff (which i'm constantly doing cause of my memory problems). Can also relate to having little control over my eyes, especially when I'm around other people, they just dart around nervously, almost always avoiding eye-contact. This shit is too weird...
 
dpd_mnk i have everything there you describe, the after images i get from light are the worst if i look head on at it , also i have lots of floaters and static in my vision, (looks like a tv out of signal) . my vision is also blurry and i have tunnel vision aswell, i have to look dead straight on at something to really look at it properly, if people walk past my in the side of my vision they seem to go to quickly and i cant seem them properly , really weird. finding things is hard also because i have to concentrate on everything dead on to really see what im looking at. yeah it seems when im having a conversation with someone its really hard to keep focus on them , i dont really seem to be controlling my eyes they just seem to do it themselves, also making conversation i find is hard to concentrate on what they are saying , i seem to lose focus and just wonder off in my thoughts.

i know we will get through this but it does take time, we just gotta stay positive , im in month 8 nearly! dont mean to scare you though because everyone is different. hope to hear from u :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top