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Time to admit that I can't stay clean on my own. I need your help, lovely people!!

Truthcontest.com .... "The present" ---- free book which totally transformed and saved my life
 
Prayer said Heather. Hope you're still clean. I'm struggling on day 10. Your turn to say one for me.
 
I am worried too captain. Always makes me nervous when someone is struggling to quit like she was because of the overdose risk. I wonder if anyone knows her name or has her email? If someone does please make sure she is ok.
 
Yeah to drop off of communication like that in week two. That is when the cravings always really hit me. She is in my prayers. I know she has been struggling with this for a long time. My best hope is that she made it into a rehab, or a detox...
 
Damn now I am worried. Any clue what city she lived in? Even just a first name? PM me or one of the other mods please if you do. I really hope she is in treatment. She has struggled too hard for too long to not get it.
 
I am struggling a bit.... gave up meth back in may....

but then i got back into heroin....been messing with it for almost a year now...just went 8 days taking 2 mgs a suboxone a day... that shit is a miracle cure for not getting sick holy shit..
but i just bought a gram last night.... trying to get off hard drugs completely and only take my rx'd meds ...

i am a performing frontman in my own band, its taken me my whole life to finally get the band together to do my own songs and so far its been incredible! by giving up the meth my shows have gotten so much better, but heroin makes me perform so well... its like the perfect thing for me to take before i hit the stage.... but i know i need to prove to myself i can do it without drugs.. because that takes real belief and power .... workin it out
 
motiv311 said:
I am struggling a bit.... gave up meth back in may....

but then i got back into heroin....been messing with it for almost a year now...just went 8 days taking 2 mgs a suboxone a day... that shit is a miracle cure for not getting sick holy shit..
but i just bought a gram last night.... trying to get off hard drugs completely and only take my rx'd meds ...

i am a performing frontman in my own band, its taken me my whole life to finally get the band together to do my own songs and so far its been incredible! by giving up the meth my shows have gotten so much better, but heroin makes me perform so well... its like the perfect thing for me to take before i hit the stage.... but i know i need to prove to myself i can do it without drugs.. because that takes real belief and power .... workin it out
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Have you tried analyzing why you have this desire to use heroin? I mean, for most people, it would be one hell of a rush just to get to perform music for others.

It's common for people who are/were addicted (myself included) that we had a lack of bliss in our childhoods, or interrupted bliss. This can mean we lost a parent, were abused, faced hardships like homelessness, or had an addicted parent which caused us to grow up early.

It's important to identify these issues and to work on them and/or get help while we still have time to get recovery right. :)
 
Growing up too early and substance abuse, never taken a loot it at like that CH. Sounds very sensible though.

Motiv, I am the frontman in my band aswel and however I have no heroin history I can imagine that going on stage with it can be useful for your focus on the music and less on the crowds.

My question to you is, what happens when you play music when you are sober? does it help you? or is it very difficult to play without anything in your system? Cause I have heard people seeking power in their own music for helping them kick the habit.

What kind of frontman are you? what do you play (instrument, genre etc,) just my own curiosity :)
 
DutchBloke said:
Growing up too early and substance abuse, never taken a loot it at like that CH. Sounds very sensible though.
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A lot of people don't connect the dots, especially considering there can easily be anywhere from a few months/years to several decades between the point of childhood trauma and the point of developing drug addiction.

There's a reason people such as myself are delayed in developing a drug habit. For instance, repression of trauma can be very efficient and complete at first, then starts to break down over time since repression is neither healthy nor a perfect long-term solution to trauma.

I'm sending a lot of <3 out to everyone, especially xburtonchic in their recoveries.
 
DutchBloke said:
Growing up too early and substance abuse, never taken a loot it at like that CH. Sounds very sensible though.

Motiv, I am the frontman in my band aswel and however I have no heroin history I can imagine that going on stage with it can be useful for your focus on the music and less on the crowds.

My question to you is, what happens when you play music when you are sober? does it help you? or is it very difficult to play without anything in your system? Cause I have heard people seeking power in their own music for helping them kick the habit.

What kind of frontman are you? what do you play (instrument, genre etc,) just my own curiosity :)
Click to expand...

It has to do with staying relaxed, and feeling the music... Basically feeling cool and confident, like no matter what happens you know you are set, because you have all this talent and you're relaxed cause you're on heroin. For me, its not like I have an amazing voice, but I do have prescence on stage; it just takes 100 percent concentration to get right... but when you do.... lookout. . .

For me performing is a high itself, you def get a major rush doing it.... but when you fuck it up, there is nothing worse... When we do well, I get a feeling of ... like "love" ... its nearly tangible.. and when I feel connected to myself, and can feel the prescence of the audience..... And usually when I feel that I can look out,, and the audience is completely silent and absorbed in the act. At that stage you know you are doing well, and to get to that stage I had to give up amphetamines.... because they fucked with that energy. its natural.... heroin helps unlock it for me. My voice sounds different and better with a decent amount of heroin as well....

but you can't rely on drugs forever ....

right now I only got my best friend in the band... we play with different percussionists, or with a drum machine or just without drums... we both play guitar, and bass and keys and drums.... I play piano a lot when we play.....

we call ourselves "Mormania" or "more mania"

we will play any genre , i really couldn't describe it .... it has a lot of folk ish stuff, indie hip hop, alternative, rock etc.

we are trying to get signed sometime in 2015-2016 ..... and do a USA tour in 2016.... and hopefully we will go beyond that
 
I hope that one day you can get all your rushes from the music itself without you needing anything else <3

Also if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to hear some of your music it sounds awesome actually. PM me if you don't want to post it here :)
 
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