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Things you wish you could say to your SIGNIFICANT OTHER / EX

BellaJewel said:
I was feeling like this, too, at moments. But to combat this I wrote all the shitty things he did. He barely helped me pay rent over the past 8 years, possibly paying at most 4 months rent in total. He texted my daughter to say I’m a junkie in withdrawals. Yes, I’m prescribed Oxys, but fuck, who tf are you to text my daughter and say shit about me. And he drinks every fucking day, to the point that his friends were calling me saying “Bella, you know why we’re calling you. Come get him. You can get his car tomorrow.” Of course, he woke up all pissed off because he blacks out and forgets everything always.
My point is just this, I know you miss him. But maybe make a list about all he did that wasn’t wonderful on his part. Look at it often and whenever you feel weak or like you miss him. It will make you stronger. If you want my cell #, PM me and I will absolutely give it to you!
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Thank you. This isn’t your normal dysfunctional relationship though. We’re from Alaska. Traditionally, Alaskans are fucked up on a completely different level. We don’t have the family structures needed to live even a somewhat normal life. Hence the high rates of drug addiction, alcoholism, and suicide.
We’ve been together four years as of 9/1. It took me until this January to get him out of AK. His ex fucked with his meds, called the cops on him every chance she got, used their children to keep him in-line. But I finally got him out. We finally got to be together.
Fast forward to May of this year, and she moves down here. 10 blocks away from us. I managed to keep visitation happening while minimizing contact between them, because she knows how to beat him down.
But then he let her back in. She texts him incessantly. He now uses words to describe me that, as the uncle of someone with Down’s syndrome, he never used before. Like “retarded.” That’s 100% her.
She has him believing I’m the controlling one, yet she drives by my house with their children in the car, laying on the horn, when she can’t find him. Calling the police on us when she doesn’t get her way.
He is my heart. And I am his. We’ve known this since the day we met. But she has him brainwashed. Everyone in his life sees it but him. I don’t know how to let go of him again. I don’t want to leave him to her sick intentions. She almost killed him once. If she succeeds this time, I don’t think I can take it.
I fucking love him, and I always will. I’ve just run out of hope that love is enough.
 
Oh Sweetie, I have had 2 friends from Alaska tell me that it’s not like here (meaning CA, or the rest of the states), so while I don’t know what you are going through, I do know that it’s different from my situation.
I’m very sorry his ex has such a hold on him but I’m guessing it’s not any mystical power or skills, it’s his love for the kids.
At this point, has he moved in with her?
 
BellaJewel said:
Oh Sweetie, I have had 2 friends from Alaska tell me that it’s not like here (meaning CA, or the rest of the states), so while I don’t know what you are going through, I do know that it’s different from my situation.
I’m very sorry his ex has such a hold on him but I’m guessing it’s not any mystical power or skills, it’s his love for the kids.
At this point, has he moved in with her?
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Whenever we fight he goes to her house. It’s not a sexual thing - I’m actually confident of that - it’s to be near his kids, specifically his youngest who kept him alive from when I left AK until he came and joined me.
I know I can’t keep living like this. But how do I give up this man? He is amazing. When in control of his own emotions he is the sweetest, funniest, most loving man. But somehow he is made to feel guilty for being happy. For finding love. And he accepts that judgment.
I had to live without him for 18 months once. It was miserable. I don’t know how I’ll be able to do it again. I’ll have to obviously, but I thought it couldn’t hurt worse than the first time. But after having a few months to be with each other before she showed up, being able to just be in love, together... it will be so much harder this time.
 
I love you and that’s why I had to end things how I did. I’m not a therapist and you needed one. Me being your teddy bear that comforts you in an anxiety attack is good for no one. I love you and I want to see you thrive but I’m not the one who can make that happen
 
I hate how much I love you. And how cool you can be when you're not being a narcissistic asshole. All I want is to break this cycle with you but I'm lonely and scared and across the country from my friends and family. I miss the person you were when I fell in love with you. I miss all the nice things you used to say to me. We are so close to getting a house...and I'm not sure if you're just this bad at handling stress or what your behavior is lately...but you're hurting me. I wish we could get back to what we used to have together but I do wonder if that was even genuine at all.
 
Really though what is WRONG with me?!

Just sneak in this bedroom, whisper you love me and take me.

Hold me down. Tie me up. Whatever. I want you. Idc about anything else and I cannot sleep bc of you.

Fml
 
Things I wish I could say to my ex aye.... well I miss my husband, I wish he didn't leave, I'm glad he hasn't sent me divorce papers yet but I'd be even happier if he contacted me... I wish he could know how sorry I am, how much I miss and love him and how true it is when I say things can change. Please don't leave me :cry:
 
I want you to be OK, and I don’t think living with another alcoholic is the best thing for you at this point.
Your band is practicing again and has a few shows scheduled after the first of the year. They want you on bass but you can’t be like, well you know what I’m talking about.
 
Either my threshold for being hurt is too high, or yours is too low. Probably both. But that's the worst part and hopefully it's easier to find someone who is more keen to this type of stuff. I dont like walking on egg shells.

And for the others:

We had lots of fun. Sorry i got lazy and stopped giving you attention or start pushing the limit.

And for the exs i keep in contact with:

Hope you're doing well!
 
I'd give anything in the world for another chance and you know how deeply I love you. Watching you know with this other guy is the most painful thing I ever known and I really dont enjoy life anymore these days. When you put the ring on your finger back then you said that you would love me forever. Still we are major part of eachothers lives but if the roles were reversed you would be destroyed inside just like me. But I love you so much and if you only want me as friend it's all I will be. We have such strong connection and I cant believe you throwing my love away for some guy that doesn't even understand you or would ever love and respect you fraction of the amount i do :(
 
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