Was too long to fit it all in that first post!
I'm the kind of person that generally tries to be positive at any given moment, no matter what going on. Traffic jam on the way to chemotherapy? I'm still going to be smiling and joking, even if the jokes are a bit sarcastic, it's still with a laugh and an "oh well could be worse"
You are the opposite, any given situation, doesn't matter how awesome it is, you're going to find something to complain about, something about it that irritates you, and you're just going to go on and on about it til someone cuts you off, no opportunity to punctuate it with a smile or an "oh well" since the complaining usually doesn't stop. You form a bad attitude and you cling to it like a security blanket, and you snap at anyone that tries to bring you out of it. "You just want me to be smiling and happy all the time but I'm just not!" -- only you could fucking get offended by a person trying to cheer you up.
Because of these differences, as time goes on, you're going to remember more and more good things about our relationship. You're going to realize more and more ways that something or other bugged you when you should have tried to just be appreciative and enjoy yourself at any given moment. You're going to realize more and more things you wish you had appreciated when they were happening.
I'm the opposite. I took the time to try to savor every second, I clung to every moment I could get (probably to the point of smothering you I'll admit), and tried to appreciate it and love you as much as I could. As a result, I ended up loving you and appreciating you through some pretty awful moments from you, when a normal person that wasn't hopelessly in love with you would have recognized just how awful you were being. So now as time goes on, I'm going to remember more and more reasons I should have wanted this to be over with years ago.
You used to call me pathetic and weak for reaching out to friends for support. You used to bitch at me about the "way I talk to you" and then not be able to give me a single example of what I was doing wrong. There were so many fucking warning signs early on that I just shouldn't even have bothered getting close to someone like you, but I told myself that you just had a giant chip on your shoulder and you were a good person underneath. Yeah, you insulted me and bitched at me about inane little things every day and you nitpicked me down to the point where I needed to control the tone of my voice when I was in pain during chemo or it would set you off. But you showed up to the hospital at least, you couldn't have bitched at me if you weren't there! So I told myself that all the ways you treated me bad didn't matter.
I put four years into helping you be a better person. And now as you're leaving me you're talking like the person you are today is who you've always been. When you didn't even start being nice on a daily basis until you got Louise last month. Just wow.
