herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Thinking of xstayfaded and effie right now. Mostly because I was thinking about rituals. I thought that was a beautiful ceremony that you created for yourself to honor Zak, xstay. I've never found it possible to believe in anything happening or not happening after this life but I do believe in the power of symbolism. Writing your letter and casting it off into the water in the dark was a beautiful way to honor love, to honor what a person's love left you with. Same for the tatoo, effie. Such a tangible symbol for the rest of your life of what Dave gave you.
Yesterday, my older son was trying to mend one of Caleb's old shirts that he wears now and he needed some help. When Caleb was alive he was always wrecking his brother's stuff--not on purpose, not maliciously, just in the impulsive and careless way he had with everything. If he couldn't find his skate he took T's, same with a bike or a wetsuit or once even T's only pair of shoes! T got mad, but never seriously; he just took pains to hide everything. Somehow, Caleb always found it and usually he ended up wrecking it due to some epic adventure that he barely survived. Either that or he just got distracted and lost whatever it was. So this shirt that had been Caleb's that is now T's is very symbolic on many levels. It was a shirt that Caleb wore a lot, it is a reversal in that T is wearing something of Caleb's and it has a bunch of holes in it like everything else Caleb wore. And we were trying to mend it. It was a ritual in a way. We had a laugh and a cry. Caleb could piss us off so much yet no one could ever stay mad at him. It felt good to remember that while showing T how to sew.
Yesterday, my older son was trying to mend one of Caleb's old shirts that he wears now and he needed some help. When Caleb was alive he was always wrecking his brother's stuff--not on purpose, not maliciously, just in the impulsive and careless way he had with everything. If he couldn't find his skate he took T's, same with a bike or a wetsuit or once even T's only pair of shoes! T got mad, but never seriously; he just took pains to hide everything. Somehow, Caleb always found it and usually he ended up wrecking it due to some epic adventure that he barely survived. Either that or he just got distracted and lost whatever it was. So this shirt that had been Caleb's that is now T's is very symbolic on many levels. It was a shirt that Caleb wore a lot, it is a reversal in that T is wearing something of Caleb's and it has a bunch of holes in it like everything else Caleb wore. And we were trying to mend it. It was a ritual in a way. We had a laugh and a cry. Caleb could piss us off so much yet no one could ever stay mad at him. It felt good to remember that while showing T how to sew.