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TDS The Suicide Support Thread

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Nobody is good enough buddy. I can relate to what you are feeling- trust me when I say these situatios are quite temporary. Don’t spoil your future over this, seriously! A couple of years or much less you’ll be quite different. As a friend of me once told us, this is how we consciously opt when no clear exit is visible- but it’s there. A little foggy right now, you’ll see.

Keep posting, we can help you. I have also been through a lot of terrible situations myself, an oddly enough I made it. And to be very honest about it, if I did anyone can. I am very sincere when I say this afterall I was pretty messed up after 2 decades of opiate addiction. You’ll get over this, and good or better moments shall happen.

Take care! I mean it.

Erik
 
Erikmen said:
Nobody is good enough buddy. I can relate to what you are feeling- trust me when I say these situatios are quite temporary. Don’t spoil your future over this, seriously! A couple of years or much less you’ll be quite different. As a friend of me once told us, this is how we consciously opt when no clear exit is visible- but it’s there. A little foggy right now, you’ll see.

Keep posting, we can help you. I have also been through a lot of terrible situations myself, an oddly enough I made it. And to be very honest about it, if I did anyone can. I am very sincere when I say this afterall I was pretty messed up after 2 decades of opiate addiction. You’ll get over this, and good or better moments shall happen.

Take care! I mean it.

Erik
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Thanks buddy I appreciate it
 
Downfallin, a big part of recovery is the part that goes beyond the drug to the source of pain the drug was used to address. It sounds like you are really exhausted from the struggle and your reserves are maxed out. The best thing you can do for yourself is to try to start building your self esteem and self acceptance. Any possibility you could see a therapist to get some tools that could help you change the way you see yourself? Addiction wreaks havoc on relationships but don't take that as reality forever. Your family has their own struggles to work on but have faith that as you heal, those relationships may get better as well. As far as friends go, try to be a friend to someone that feels exactly like you do. It can be a good way to get you out of your own head and also to realize that most people feel unsure of themselves and you don't have to feel alone in that. Hang in there!<3
 
I don't often get suicidal, and I'm terrified of death. But I always remember an earlier time in my life, when I wasn't scared of death. In that time, I enjoyed life much more. I was somewhat suicidal back then, but had a lot more fun experiences because I wasn't afraid of dying.

That was many years ago. These days I'm rarely feeling suicidal and, I'm terrified of dying in general. I'm terrified of dying from panic attacks as well. My anxiety is ruining my life, I can't have fun or do anything without anxiety and I'm fucking sick of it. I had a brief moment of feeling suicidal earlier tonight due to the amount of stress that I'm currently under. It made me think. I was more fun to be around and I enjoyed life more when I was actively suicidal, years ago. Now I'm a pathetic, anxious piece of shit who never has fun.

Ironic, right?
 
zombies ((<3)). I'm really sorry that anxiety has gotten such a strangle hold on your psyche. I have an anxious nature myself and it has taken quite a few years and experiences for me to finally understand how to unravel it in my mind. Mindfulness practices helped immensely. You can read about them anywhere--online, in books etc--but it is consciously adopting them as part of your thinking that takes the work. It's worth it to live without anxiety.
 
I know it's a petty reason, but I feel like I just wanna end it, neighbours are driving me insane and I have another year of this.

Loud parties, constant dsh dsh dsh of bass travelling through walls until god knows what time in the morning (not unusual to drift off, then be woken up anywhere between 2am and 7.30am by loud parties), construction work (loud hammering and drilling) waking me up early. Living on 3-4 hours sleep and never any more, never get a proper rest. Going through formal procedures about the partying neighbours, but doubt it'll get anywhere, and it takes so long, and I've already knocked on several times and they've had complaint letters are home visits from the council but they still don't turn it down. Landlord is the one doing the construction work (he said it'd be done in August...) and it's perfectly legal, but when I rented the room I said the most important thing was quiet and he said it was quiet, money grabbing bastard.

Now I can't move out 'cause I'm tied to my contract, and my grades at uni are seriously tanking. Can't believe I might fail because of constant noise. Never get a break and it's driving me insane. Hate that well off people are allowed to live in peace and quiet but we aren't. Just can't take it anymore, and if I fail uni (it took me 4 years to get in!) 'cause of some inconsiderate gobshites that's permanent damage. Just wanna die if it's gonna ruin my life anyway, and at least death would be quiet.
 
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If you have to break a contract or kill yourself, choose to break the contract! Lack of sleep and constant neighbor problems are annoying, but if it's impacting your life so much that you're thinking about ending it and you might fail school, you should do whatever you canto change your situation. Not breaking a contract isn't worth all that.
 
Chances are you'll just end up even worse off than you are now, but still alive and feeling even shittier.

This might sound stupid, but I'm going to assume you don't have anyone IRL you feel safe talking about these feeling with? They're intense enough that a lot of people won't understand, but it's imperative you find people you feel like you can discuss this kind of thing with (and if not specifically suicidal ideation, at least the feelings associated with it like shame, narcissism, a bottomless pit of depression and melancholy, etc). And if not IRL on somewhere like BL. Speaking of which, I'm going to move this to TDS...

MH->TDS
 
Just a question

Delete if I'm not aloud to talk about this here. But I've been going through a lot lately. I really sick of life. I am diagnosed with multiple mental illness, all my family is slowly dieing. (20 years old every grand parent is gone, and my dad just recently died.) and my mother is terminally ill and I have no idea how long I have left with her and it scares me. I could have months I could have years fingers crossed. But suffering with my fathers death, loosing my job due to needing grievment time but my boss wouldn't give it to me? And suffering from my day to day struggle with mental illnesses I've been ready to kill myself for a long long time and I wouldn't because I'm the only person my mom has. And I'd rather be alive and suffer for her than to know she'll suffer if I'm gone.. so I just need a suicide kit so what mg of oxy and Xanax will garentee death if I have a medium tollerance.

anyways I'll stop boring you with my bullshit that probably everyone deals with. I'm in need a of garentee suicide kit. The way I would go out is a large amount of opiates followed by a humungous amount of benzos to finish the job. Being as I have a high tollerance how much would it take of say oxycodone or morphine and Xanax to do the job. Disclaimer: I do not plan killing my self right this moment but when my mother passes I'm not sure what I'm going to od.
 
i know it must be terrifying facing a world on your own at so young man, but don't go killing yourself.
do you have any friends to fall back on? also, are you from the UK? think i can tell by some of your posts that you might be - i'm from England so feel free to message me.
i'm going to forward you to our Recovery Support forums - they have a great team over there who have dealt with similar shit like this man - talk to someone before you go making plans like this.

EDIT --->
Moved to Mental Health from OD
 
edrudd said:
I'm planning to kill myself tomorrow. I will get 120 mg of xanax and buy vodka. I will stay awake till then with my stavigille . Question is: I am going to die or I will be retarded for life?? I can also jump from my building when I am already crazy. I have already tried to kill myself with my knife, but I can't cut my own head.
Click to expand...

What is making you want to die?
 
Bro don’t kill yourself... we all live with pain, physical and mental, and carry on as best we can. I would strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist/therapist. I know it sounds bullshit, but give it a try.
life has so many painful moments, but it evens out with pleasurable moments too that you may have yet to experience.

Just do your best to carry on make the best of the cards your dealt.

Shit I did 3.5 years in prison over a petty crime (horrible lawyer) and considered suicide myself. But I learned soo much about myself from going through that experience. Weather you’re religious or not, our creator has purpose for us all. Don’t cut yours short.
 
yeah man, at 20 years old, your body and mind is strong enough to handle intense pain. both physical and mental.

try to learn from it - that is the only way out.
 
From the United States. But had no choice to move to the United Kingdom. I used to have friends but after my fathers death all but one of them proved to be fake. I just have no support/help. The only family I have around me are alcoholics that only care about them selves. My uncle saw me for 2 minutes after my dad died, and that was just to ask to borrow money... I don't want to kill myself now as sad as I am. I just want a sure way out sometimes.
 
The mental health care system sucks here. I had psychiatrists come to my house and evaluate me for 2 hours. They told me I have multiple mental illnes and don't fit the spot for one so they just told me I have borderline personality disorder (a trait of all mental illnesses) and ever since then telling them I wanted to end my life etc, they said I don't fit the critica for them to help me? So they sent a report to my doctor and that's it nothing has happened and it's been months and I've tried going back. Shit one of my doctors tried to get me to Bribe him so that he would "care more" (think he was oissed off cause in American and American doctors get paid wedge) idk if he was serious or being sarcastic thought but ether way that is not something a doctor should say especially when I'm suicidal
 
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