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TDS The Suicide Support Thread

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Although I don't remember my dreams I always have this particular nightmare where I do something wrong and wake up relieved bc it was only I dream.

I always wake up, drink a glass of water and think of something else so I don't go back to those dreams.

I used to have them much more often during my withdrawals.
It's not a good, but it tends to get better with time.
 
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jackie jones said:
I have been having recurring dreams lately. I have had the same ones before, but never with such frequency.

I go somewhere or open something I should not have, this spirit or entity enters my body. It creates a cold fear that I have never known. I can run from it but it always catches me. I try to hide in safe, familiar places. I find that happy place, then there it is, more terrifying than ever.

I wake not wanting to sleep.
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That dream seems to be about heroin to me. You open something that you "should not" and then you are possessed by it. The cold fear is because you see it for what it is: a severing from your true self, your autonomy and your human potential. Conjure up the dream before you fall asleep and then speak to it. Tell that cold death-spirit that you know it for what it is; it cannot harm you without your consent and you are withdrawing your consent. Tell it you know that hiding only prolongs the terror and feeds its power and so you will not hide, you will confront.

You know that you can call on me any time you need a little extra humanity on your side.
 
It very well may be. It makes sense. All it makes me think when I wake is it is a glimpse of hell.
 
Jackie,
I imagine how difficult this is to you. You have people in your life who care for you.
I don't know much about what's going on with your life but I suggest you seek for help.
Accept it. Some of us find it difficult to get or accept help or maybe you just want to solve it yourself.
I don't know if this is the case, don't suffer alone. That's my suggestion. I have felt this myself.
 
I have been going back to NA meetings. I think I have found the right sponsor. Although I do not agree with their philosophy altogether, I do find some solace in attending.

Erikmen, Herbavore... Everyone else who has been extending their hand towards me: I feel your heart and thoughts. Thank you.
 
I hope that works. Don't let anyone else say what you can or can't do.
You have overcome situations where most people don't even have no idea how you've dealt with your most difficult moments.
That strength defines who you are and what you are capable to do.
Don't let yourself believe you can't succeed because you know you can. And tha's fuk..ing. hard for others to understand.
Trust your instincts. ;)
 
to anyone who has had suicidal thoughts this past year, i'm glad you're still here. Keep holding on. It will get better.
 
You never know what's on the other side. Maybe we don't get to the other side.
From my own experience, it's a risky and temporary solution for a permanent problem.
And death is not the problem I'm talking about.
 
Then what do I do? Live this life or something worse? I just wish there was a way to exist from consciousness entirely. I've sincerely lost it. It is nobody's fault but my own, which makes it worse.
 
I don't know. What can you do? Some of us go through incredible bad periods in life.
And these phases sometimes take a long time to pass but we do get better with time.
You are the only one that can do this for yourself despite of the help we can give you.
What could you do? IMO/E, We tend to adapt to situations, whatever they are.

I told you I've experienced trying to move out to the other side and trust me it's not that simple.
I was somehow impaired for quite sometime. Had gone through a coma but as I said perhaps we keep living in parallel lives. As strange as that may sound that's the only explanation I get from what happened.

What's wrong? what is it that you can't bear anymore? Is there someone you can count?
Do you have friends, family?
Can you search for assistance -- medical or psychological? sharing helps immensely.
Do something like volunteering, it will you help as well. Keep in touch with us.

I've once started volunteering work at a hospital, once a week and it helped to see things through a different perspective.

I know that whatever it is that you are going through it's not easy. And it's easier to say than do.
A lot of us have been where you are and at some point I think that sooner or later you'll feel better. Take it slowly, baby steps. Try to think of something that could make you feel better.

I really wish you all the best! Keep in touch.
 
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Erikmen said:
I don't know. What can you do? Some of us go through incredible bad periods in life.
And these phases sometimes take a long time to pass but we do get better with time.
You are the only one that can do this for yourself despite of the help we can give you.
What could you do? IMO/E, We tend to adapt to situations, whatever they are.

I told you I've experienced trying to move out to the other side and trust me it's not that simple.
I was somehow impaired for quite sometime. Had gone through a coma but as I said perhaps we keep living in parallel lives. As strange as that may sound that's the only explanation I get from what happened.

What's wrong? what is it that you can't bear anymore? Is there someone you can count?
Do you have friends, family?
Can you search for assistance -- medical or psychological? sharing helps immensely.
Do something like volunteering, it will you help as well. Keep in touch with us.

I've once started volunteering work at a hospital, once a week and it helped to see things through a different perspective.

I know that whatever it is that you are going through it's not easy. And it's easier to say than do.
A lot of us have been where you are and at some point I think that sooner or later you'll feel better. Take it slowly, baby steps. Try to think of something that could make you feel better.

I really wish you all the best! Keep in touch.
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Thank you for talking to me. I've been considering just going to the hospital. I think I'm at the point where alcohol has made me very ill, and family and friends couldn't help. I don't know if I want to do this, but I never want to feel like this again.
 
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