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The Suicide support thread

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That's just coz he's a decent human being, it doesnt mean more, he's never even even met me, this comes out wrong I'm sorry. I've always felt too much, *always* just too much, but maybe none of those feelings are really real, not anymore somehow anyway, and I don't really have anything to feel, I don't feel close to anyone no offense Captain.Heroin I don't mean any of this to come out awkward but it will because I *am* awkward lol. But ultimately nothing matters and no-one cares, and even if someone did I couldn't truely care back, anyway this is not good this talking, I don't want you to see my holes. I'm sure someone else will need more urgent help anyway, I'm not going today or tomorrow or next week, I havn't got the balls.
 
Libby said:
I think ive got it all sorted out, not for another 5 years, ill do it when im 30 and wont be able to compete with the young teenagers at work, and I just need to move out from bex's place so her and her kid just think I moved, lost touch, its better that way. Couple friends but they can be made to think nothing of it too, no family to worry about so that side of things is easy. The only thing is I have to wait for my cat to die coz when I got her I promised her i'd look after her forever, anyway I wouldnt trust anyone else with her, I have molly coddled this cat soo bad for 15 years she wouldnt cope with anyone else, but shes old now it wont be long
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From your pics I can say you were born very attractive.

From your postings I infer you enjoy attention and approval.

From your posts, I think you'd be a fun person to have at a party - outgoing and like to banter.

I do think though, that you have a lot more to offer than just the physical. People are always going to want the physical and innuendo from you, that's what will be encouraged.

I think you need to recognize that you have more to offer than that. You're use of language suggests a bright mind and sometimes you even let a caring heart show through. I'd like to see you express these sides of yourself more, rather than allowing yourself to sexualize your every choice and interaction. If it is what you are doing, please don't shyly hide away these other admirable qualities of yours behind the confident wanton strumpet. Be as brazen in exposing your inner beauty; people will notice you in another way and perhaps enjoying this new type of attention will satisfy your social hunger in a different kind of way that perhaps you have been missing?
 
To the many other posts in this thread, I've read your stories and feel your hurt. My experience of depression was one of being emotionally lost, and inwardly lonely. The mental and physical energy the that the strength, depth and persistence of these feeling drains away I could never have expected without having suffered it. Its hard to find much left to lift yourself out.

But decide that you want to - it becomes possible and eventually it becomes reality.

Try to greatest human achievements tend to be driven by adversity, I feel this applies equally to the greatest developments in wisdom and character. Life is not governed by any rules of fairness, all you value and build outside of yourself is a treasure always at risk. But a treasure lost is a fortune invested in knowledge and self, something that is yours forever. The life you have moved away from and the path never to be trod still belongs to you. Set foot down another path, even if its not path you happily walked for so long, you walk that new path with more life than you ever had before. Stride on ahead rich in the human experience and realize you are now more alive than could have otherwise been. Take pride in what you have earned, feel the power of your experience. And carry on in enlightened defiance of the primeval and unknowing forces of reality and existence.
 
morpher001 said:
From your pics I can say you were born very attractive.
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No I was an ugly child, all my beauty comes from peroxide, GHDs, make-up and eating disorders.

morpher001 said:
From your postings I infer you enjoy attention and approval.
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True

morpher001 said:
From your posts, I think you'd be a fun person to have at a party - outgoing and like to banter.
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Well I never really go to parties but usually I hang back and watch other people have fun politely smile and pretend I'm having a good time when someone turns to ask me if I'm alright. If I'm single at the time I generally sit quietly in a corner by myself until an appropriate guy hits on me, then leave with him.

morpher001 said:
I do think though, that you have a lot more to offer than just the physical. People are always going to want the physical and innuendo from you, that's what will be encouraged.

I think you need to recognize that you have more to offer than that. You're use of language suggests a bright mind and sometimes you even let a caring heart show through. I'd like to see you express these sides of yourself more, rather than allowing yourself to sexualize your every choice and interaction. If it is what you are doing, please don't shyly hide away these other admirable qualities of yours behind the confident wanton strumpet. Be as brazen in exposing your inner beauty; people will notice you in another way and perhaps enjoying this new type of attention will satisfy your social hunger in a different kind of way that perhaps you have been missing?
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Sometimes I even let a caring heart show through? I am always loving and caring to everyone UNLESS they have been a fucking asshole to me for no goddamn reason. I find this offensive, I havn't been picked on like this since I was ugly so of course I want to remind people I'm not ugly, and being that you are one of the reasons I feel like killing myself right now I don't think you should even be here trying to give me advice in the first place.

I've just realised, I don't even need to work up the courage to jump in front of a train, all I need to do is inject a giant bubble of air and I can do that right now in my bedroom
 
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Im sorry you feeln like this mrflowers, I feel the same *hug*

So injecting a syringe of air into a vein doesnt do anything! I googled and apparently ud need 20mL of air and into an artery not vein, I need bigger syringe all mine are 1ml lol, the biggest they sell at the adio is 10ml, would have to hit twice, maybe 3 times just to be sure. Everything always has to be difficult
 
DeathDomokun said:
Do you actually know what that does? It'd be much less painful jumping off a building or into a train. Don't take that the wrong way.
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While I think everyone deserves dignity in life, Bluelight is here to help us continue living on.

I'll flat out say though, that trying to kill yourself with drugs is just a bad idea, and it will not be painless.
 
The problem I see with suicide prevention advice is that no one has ever been able to put forward a counter argument that suicide was the best thing they ever did, because those people are dead and cannot post to this or any other forum, but we do not know if they regret the decision or not, maybe it was the greatest thing that ever happened to them, maybe life as a human is a test to see how quicly you can work out that it's a flawed game and there is no need to play it, that there is a way out and there always has been, maybe true enlightenment is realising you can end the game.
 
Because it's extreemly important that we go on, that life continues, no one has ever been able to explain to me why this is, we are just tubes that just keep putting food in one and and poop out of the other end, and because this wears us out we keep on making more tubes that themselves keep putting food in one end and poop out of the other end, and this simply MUST GO on, it would be a terrible thing, absolutely disasterous for the whole universe apparently, if this was to stop. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

No one has ever come up with an answer for that question.

the whole thing is a joke, and fucking pointless, BUT....... the show must go on. FUCK THAT.
 
webbykevin said:
Because it's extreemly important that we go on, that life continues, no one has ever been able to explain to me why this is, we are just tubes that just keep putting food in one and and poop out of the other end, and because this wears us out we keep on making more tubes that themselves keep putting food in one end and poop out of the other end, and this simply MUST GO on, it would be a terrible thing, absolutely disasterous for the whole universe apparently, if this was to stop. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

No one has ever come up with an answer for that question.

the whole thing is a joke, and fucking pointless, BUT....... the show must go on. FUCK THAT.
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I have spiritual beliefs which lead me to conclude suicide would not result in escaping suffering.
 
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