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☮ Social ☮ The PD Cosmic Space-Train: SOCIAL UMPH in Full Spectrum

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Man when Jerry's guitar hits me, I don't worry any more-- I remember that life doesn't suck. So....hit me with some Jerry guitar!

jerry_sholik1.jpg
 
I'm having a bad day :(

I was hoping I would have some alcohol tonight, but I ran into traffic on the way to the airport, showed up to late to check in my bag and had to toss the two handles I had in my bag. Tis a shame.

I hope something good shows up in front of me soon, shit has been going down hill for me the past month or so.
 
Sweet, thanks for the link man I was getting slightly bored..

edit: Im sorry to hear that Cloudy..
 
I'm out.

Time to get some sleep before embarking on the 17 hour car ride that awaits me in the morning. Cloudy, I wish thee teh bestsz of luck in having a delightful time in the near future, I know I will be.
 
Cloudy said:
I'm having a bad day :(

I was hoping I would have some alcohol tonight, but I ran into traffic on the way to the airport, showed up to late to check in my bag and had to toss the two handles I had in my bag. Tis a shame.

I hope something good shows up in front of me soon, shit has been going down hill for me the past month or so.
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I hope so too man.

Shit has been very up and down for me. Moments of "fuck yes!" followed by moments of not wanting to live anymore.
 
^I reckon most people who use psychedelics end up with non-pathologcal bipolar, or moreso, greater abilty to feel both the good and the bad, in their extreme forms.

I feel kinda bleh today myself, stiill got a cold and just bored; hence I feel like taking drugs :\ I may have a bump of meth to get me moving. I also may not.
 
swilow said:
^I reckon most people who use psychedelics end up with non-pathologcal bipolar, or moreso, greater abilty to feel both the good and the bad, in their extreme forms.
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I find I have that in me as well. The last couple years have been quite bi-polar. I do feel like I'm even-ing out and becoming less emotional as time goes on though.

It seems it comes in waves though; all of a sudden I'll be on top of the world or I'll be getting crushed from deep inside and then after the wave is done I'll even out again until the next wave hits.

For the time being I'm in the even zone.
 
^Would you say its an increased perceptual understanding, and inadverten amplyfying, of "normal" emotions, or actually a "disorder"? I (obviously) feel its the former; highs are higher because they are felt so strongly; lows are lower for the same reason...

Either way, it makes for an evershiftng mental landscape to explore :\
 
swilow said:
^Would you say its an increased perceptual understanding, and inadverten amplyfying, of "normal" emotions, or actually a "disorder"? I (obviously) feel its the former; highs are higher because they are felt so strongly; lows are lower for the same reason...

Either way, it makes for an evershiftng mental landscape to explore :\
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I agree with your theory completely.

It's not like my strong ups and strong downs are completely unjustified, so I wouldn't say it's a disorder by any means. I just find it completely impossible to just ignore or not respond to certain happenings in my life.

For example, I've been in love with a female friend of mine since....I've started talking to her 6 months ago. After getting in a treatment program and taking control of my life a bit, and her attempting to do the same, we started exploring an intimate relationship. I felt on top of the world, not in an egotistical way, it was just one of those moments when the universe just works out the way I think it ought to. Like good actions = reward.

Then, she started using heroin again, and my whole existence is on the back burner in her life as a result. I'm just lost and depressed now, doing my best to keep going. Occasionally I get little glimpses of hope and I feel great again, but that's been quickly wiped out lately.

I guess I just look at the world in a way that makes me very emotionally sensitive to synchronicities in events and intent. And when these things get thrown off completely, I just collapse in a way.
 
I stopped by this thread at a good time!

Good description, swillow, I feel the same way. My experience (which sounds uncannily similar to yours) seems to me to be a lack of the ability to ignore that I feel a certain way. I assumed it was related to psychedelics or maturing (not really terribly different concepts), but I suppose the fact that I'm reading about this in a psychedelics forum sways me a little more toward the one side...
 
Weed withdraw certainly is making me feel worse about everything, but I did something I feel is beautiful today in the heat of a lot of my troubles. I spent the whole flight reading a solid 30 pages from this Pharmacology for Chemists book. I know what I need to do this break and that was a great start. Not only that, I just enjoy so much about what I'm learning/reading. I need to keep that same attitude, and translate that over to other parts of my life.

I got big plans for this winter break. I'm going to run ~2 miles a day 5 times a week, meditate atleast once a day for 15 minutes, and read the rest of this pharmacology book.

I want to add other things to the list but I don't want to overload myself with set obligations.
 
Cloudy said:
Weed withdraw certainly is making me feel worse about everything, but I did something I feel is beautiful today in the heat of a lot of my troubles. I spent the whole flight reading a solid 30 pages from this Pharmacology for Chemists book. I know what I need to do this break and that was a great start. Not only that, I just enjoy so much about what I'm learning/reading. I need to keep that same attitude, and translate that over to other parts of my life.

I got big plans for this winter break. I'm going to run ~2 miles a day 5 times a week, meditate atleast once a day for 15 minutes, and read the rest of this pharmacology book.

I want to add other things to the list but I don't want to overload myself with set obligations.
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You are on a journey for many smiles :)
 
BollWeevil said:
I stopped by this thread at a good time!

Good description, swillow, I feel the same way. My experience (which sounds uncannily similar to yours) seems to me to be a lack of the ability to ignore that I feel a certain way. I assumed it was related to psychedelics or maturing (not really terribly different concepts), but I suppose the fact that I'm reading about this in a psychedelics forum sways me a little more toward the one side...
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Yeah, I think the process of maturing (in a psychedelic way) iis to not be affected by anything at all. Theres really not much that makes me feel really bad; and lots of things that make me feel really good. I used to constantly feel trapped by my feelings/emotions, but now I see SOME of them as pure delusions.

Truth is, you can feel however you want, whenever you want. It takes some lateral thinkiing and general disciplone, but I rarrely get taken over by my emotions unless I choose too....of course, darkness shines, but light is always there. Personally, I am eager to face whatever happens to me/us; the more I think about feelings/emotions, the more I am aware they are transient and so often meaningless and without origin.

Personally, two drugs have helped me become Me: DMT and DPT. Ayahuasca allows me to explore the magick-world more and summon my demons/angels, but the former drugs (with DPT providing an experience of a +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ;)) allowed me to stir up my thoughts and lay darkness to rest, where the I I think I am wants it.

We are all One. :):) <3
 
I believe it's a heightening of perception - I also believe that heightened perceptions need to be equalled by personal growth (or some such new age sounding claptrap ;) ) or they can overwhelm a body :)


Love & kisses - and good morning (evening swilow) everyone :)
 
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